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Clips from NewsRadio - Massage Chair (S03E03)

"Well, we sure showed Dave though, didn't we?"
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"Next we're gonna force him"
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"What?"
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"Free snacks."
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"I'm not hungry right now, thanks."
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"Now,"
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"partial ownership of the chair"
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"when I'm not sitting in it."
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"Oh, when I'm guarding it, then--"
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"I'll be the-- Oh, Bill?"
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"[SNORING]"
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"Yeah. As I predicted,"
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"Oh, yeah. You are completely under siege."
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"It's like that guy in that, uh-- That movie."
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"Under Siege? No."
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"Under Siege 2? Uh-uh."
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"Under Siege 3?"
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"You know, I don't think they made Under Siege 3."
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"Hey, I can dream, can't I?"
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"I swear to God, I have no idea what he's talking about."
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"Me neither."
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"I told you so. Okay. Okay."
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"What is important now is that, you know,"
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"I go give these people their snacks back."
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"No, I am gonna give them back their snacks."
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"LISA: He's right, Mr. James."
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"I mean, everybody hates Dave now,"
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"And if you waltz in there"
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"they're just gonna love you and hate him even more. Yeah."
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"Hate's an exaggeration, right?"
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"Okay, fine. DAVE: I mean, for me."
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"Fine, fine. You want me to be the hard-ass? That's fine."
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"and I'll pretend to be the bad guy."
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"No, you are the bad guy."
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"It's wonderful when perception"
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"Sound good to you?"
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"I really cannot get involved."
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"Thanks, college. No one really cares."
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"Let's go."
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"I know that everyone is upset"
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"Uh, I'm gonna warn you..."
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"[ACTING ANGRY] I'm gonna be a real hard-ass about this, Dave."
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"so that we can provide free snacks for the staff."
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"[ACTING ANGRY] No! No way! You are insane!"
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"[SLAMS DOOR]"
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"Yeah. Okay. All right."
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"Now, you-- You ready? Yeah."
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"No, wait. Hold on. What? What? What?"
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"What's wrong? I'm getting my character."
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"Okay, I got it. Let's go."
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"BETH: Dave,"
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"CATHERINE: Jimmy, are you all right?"
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"Okay, then..."
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"Snacks for everybody."
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"[ACTING SCARED] Okay! Okay! Gum too!"
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"Well, Dave, it's all good fun"
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"for you to play the hero."
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"But I have an announcement"
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"I've decided to let all of you"
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"Bill."
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"so if any of you would like"
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"to choose your 10-minute slots, and..."
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"Hey, come back here!"
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"[MOANING] [GIGGLING]"
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"Be careful with her."
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"Get away from my desk."
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"I don't want you touching my desk ever again."
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"[SIGHS]"
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"Ah!"
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"That is the saddest pickup artist I have ever seen."
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"I know. I tried to coach him, but it didn't do any good."
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"No?"
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"You love him."
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"Yeah."
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"Leave Catherine alone."
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"[WHINES]"
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"We got Swedish mode, shiatsu mode,"
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"and, of course, Batmobile mode."
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"[LAUGHS]"
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"Mm-hm."
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"MAN 2: Perfect. You got it."
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"MAN 1: Can we try it again, please?"
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"Yeah? When you gonna fix my phone?"
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"but you just don't have time to reach over and do it by hand?"
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"[GIGGLES]"
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"I don't lo-o-ove anybody."
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"and they can run around fixing things."
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"No? Well, how does it work? Well..."
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"Dave, if I raised the budget every time morale got low,"
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"They go to Bill."
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"A frozen piece of chewed-up gum..."
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"Whatever. I can remember"
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"Maybe you shouldn't have stolen the comfortable chairs"
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"Whatever."
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"Revolution?"
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"Yes. Um..."
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"Oh, I'm-- What am I--?"
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"The Wrath of Khan."
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"every hour to let him know you're serious."
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"TV monitors."
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"Useless."
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"All right, then we'll just cut straight to the sex."
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"I just said I agree with you."
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"as productive workers."
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"BETH: That's right. Such as?"
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"A reclining chair for our smoking area."
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"Good for you all. I'll be in my office."
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"Man, I just wanted some Fritos. You're nuts."
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"Havana fell because of people like you."
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"Yeah. Pretty cool? [LAUGHS]"
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"If my buddies heard me say that,"
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"I treat them great."
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"Oh, right."
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"Wow."
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"over 16 tension-easing pressure points."
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"Swedish mode."
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"[LAUGHS]"
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"I mean--"
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"What's it called?"
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"That's the one."
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