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Clips from NewsRadio - Massage Chair (S03E03)

You know, for this time--

"You know, for this time--"

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The ethical dilemmas in general--

"The ethical dilemmas in general--"

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So I've called this meeting

"So I've called this meeting"

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[CLEARS THROAT] Okay, but...

"[CLEARS THROAT] Okay, but..."

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And gum too.

"And gum too."

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Now, sir--

"Now, sir--"

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MAN: Cut.

"MAN: Cut."

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And it's not just the snacks.

"And it's not just the snacks."

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and I intend to keep fighting this with Mr. James.

"and I intend to keep fighting this with Mr. James."

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[SIGHS]

"[SIGHS]"

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Come on, people, it's only 400 bucks each.

"Come on, people, it's only 400 bucks each."

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meets reality, isn't it?

"meets reality, isn't it?"

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Excuse me.

"Excuse me."

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Well, I didn't say that.

"Well, I didn't say that."

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Okay, it's an emergency though,

"Okay, it's an emergency though,"

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maybe sometime you and I

"maybe sometime you and I"

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Hm.

"Hm."

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Or are we going to confront Dave

"Or are we going to confront Dave"

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Your show of faith touches me deeply.

"Your show of faith touches me deeply."

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Paper clips. I have those.

"Paper clips. I have those."

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We didn't do this for some stupid chair.

"We didn't do this for some stupid chair."

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about all the tea

"about all the tea"

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Is that cool?

"Is that cool?"

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She digs me.

"She digs me."

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and honest to say?

"and honest to say?"

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So I get to sit in the chair, right?

"So I get to sit in the chair, right?"

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Benedict Arnold slept with George Washington.

"Benedict Arnold slept with George Washington."

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How long has that been in there?

"How long has that been in there?"

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when there were comfortable chairs out there.

"when there were comfortable chairs out there."

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JOE: That was tight, man.

"JOE: That was tight, man."

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could, uh, get together and, uh, have...

"could, uh, get together and, uh, have..."

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Now he's gonna burst out of the booth,

"Now he's gonna burst out of the booth,"

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So I took the liberty of installing these.

"So I took the liberty of installing these."

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so we can talk to Mr. James directly about it.

"so we can talk to Mr. James directly about it."

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Yo, Joe? [DRILLING]

"Yo, Joe? [DRILLING]"

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Is that cool? Is that cool?

"Is that cool? Is that cool?"

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earn enough money that it evens out.

"earn enough money that it evens out."

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like those guys in that movie.

"like those guys in that movie."

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Then I'll take that as a maybe.

"Then I'll take that as a maybe."

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is some free snacks.

"is some free snacks."

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BILL: Beth!

"BILL: Beth!"

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Can I try?

"Can I try?"

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That is beside the point.

"That is beside the point."

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DAVE: Well, sir...

"DAVE: Well, sir..."

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And we'll make him even crazier

"And we'll make him even crazier"

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Think I ought to tone it down a little, huh?

"Think I ought to tone it down a little, huh?"

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You know, if Hunchback of Notre Dame

"You know, if Hunchback of Notre Dame"

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Yeah.

"Yeah."

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Maybe if I fix Catherine's desk,

"Maybe if I fix Catherine's desk,"

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What was wrong with it?

"What was wrong with it?"

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[WHIRS]

"[WHIRS]"

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You're welcome.

"You're welcome."

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WNYX is the only division of Jimmy James, Inc.

"WNYX is the only division of Jimmy James, Inc."

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Sir, do you have any idea

"Sir, do you have any idea"

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I know. I know, sir.

"I know. I know, sir."

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What?

"What?"

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You know, I just-- I really want--

"You know, I just-- I really want--"

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I saw this coming.

"I saw this coming."

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BILL: There are certain bare necessities

"BILL: There are certain bare necessities"

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He is right, you guys. He's right.

"He is right, you guys. He's right."

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Oh, oh, oh.

"Oh, oh, oh."

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What? What are you doing? What's going on?

"What? What are you doing? What's going on?"

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Oh, yeah. That looks like fun.

"Oh, yeah. That looks like fun."

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So get out!

"So get out!"

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No, you can't.

"No, you can't."

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I'll tell you what...

"I'll tell you what..."

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I told you so. I told you so.

"I told you so. I told you so."

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I really do believe that they deserve--

"I really do believe that they deserve--"

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So how was I?

"So how was I?"

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[EXAGGERATING] Jesus, Dave! You didn't have to be so rough

"[EXAGGERATING] Jesus, Dave! You didn't have to be so rough"

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Yeah, I thought you said it was important

"Yeah, I thought you said it was important"

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You got it?

"You got it?"

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ELECTRONIC VOICE: Catherine?

"ELECTRONIC VOICE: Catherine?"

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Joe likes you.

"Joe likes you."

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That's a good idea.

"That's a good idea."

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Because I've never really hit on a girl

"Because I've never really hit on a girl"

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[GASPS]

"[GASPS]"

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Dave. Dave.

"Dave. Dave."

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Oh, my God. You like him.

"Oh, my God. You like him."

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DESK: Beth?

"DESK: Beth?"

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You know, I would do that, Joe,

"You know, I would do that, Joe,"

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but as per my previous remarks,

"but as per my previous remarks,"

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[LAUGHS]

"[LAUGHS]"

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I guess, I-- I cut the snacks,

"I guess, I-- I cut the snacks,"

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and lightheaded from the lack of snack food,

"and lightheaded from the lack of snack food,"

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Oh, my God. You guys, I got something.

"Oh, my God. You guys, I got something."

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by slavery being abolished?

"by slavery being abolished?"

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Um, I'm not willing to do that.

"Um, I'm not willing to do that."

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Now, if you'll excuse me...

"Now, if you'll excuse me..."

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Now, if you want to know what's in there,

"Now, if you want to know what's in there,"

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--in order to continue functioning

"--in order to continue functioning"

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Do you think the Pilgrims really cared

"Do you think the Pilgrims really cared"

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Oh, God, what? Four hundred dollars?

"Oh, God, what? Four hundred dollars?"

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No. He is.

"No. He is."

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I'll pitch in for the revolution, Bill.

"I'll pitch in for the revolution, Bill."

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I'll take it.

"I'll take it."

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But wait, there's more.

"But wait, there's more."

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All of them, except the ones you're wearing, unfortunately.

"All of them, except the ones you're wearing, unfortunately."

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Okay, that sounds like a Barry White album,

"Okay, that sounds like a Barry White album,"

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Thank you, boys. Here you go.

"Thank you, boys. Here you go."

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And...

"And..."

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Ho-ho-ha.

"Ho-ho-ha."

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I ca-- I can sit in it then, right?

"I ca-- I can sit in it then, right?"

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Hm.

"Hm."

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Oh, sir, despite my earlier remarks,

"Oh, sir, despite my earlier remarks,"

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All right, um...

"All right, um..."

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about losing the free snacks.

"about losing the free snacks."

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Sir, I-I really do think we should increase the budget

"Sir, I-I really do think we should increase the budget"

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Sir...

"Sir..."

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did you hit Mr. James?

"did you hit Mr. James?"

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the staff are angry with me.

"the staff are angry with me."

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The point is we can't let Dave get away with this.

"The point is we can't let Dave get away with this."

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[CHAIR HUMMING]

"[CHAIR HUMMING]"

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But thank you.

"But thank you."

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Well, that's very...

"Well, that's very..."

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weird.

"weird."

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