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Clips from NewsRadio - Massage Chair (S03E03)

"from Gore Vidal."
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"Well..."
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"what's it going to be, people?"
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"Are we gonna sit here and do nothing?"
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"and win back the dignity"
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"BETH: I know what we can do."
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"That doesn't work unless you shoot a hostage"
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"It's better if we pick one specific issue"
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"Like Custer, we will make our last stand."
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"Big Chief Custer? No."
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"I'm willing to be the one to lay my ass on the line"
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"and tell him what's what."
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"I only ask that when the time comes,"
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"I'm in. Yeah, me too."
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"Me three."
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"I swear to you, I will not let you down."
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"until the revolution is complete."
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"I have a traffic and weather update to do."
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"Uh, Catherine, I just wanna apologize"
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"What are these, anyway?"
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"Oh, so I can watch TV on this."
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"No. You know how sometimes"
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"you wanna know what's in your drawer,"
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"Well, I put little cameras in each drawer."
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"you just look up at the monitor."
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"But sweet."
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"Apology accepted."
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"maybe we could, uh, get together sometime"
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"No thanks, Joe."
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"Someone pass the salt?"
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"Okay."
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"Dave, speaking on behalf of the rest of the staff,"
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"I've got to tell you,"
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"CATHERINE: That's right."
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"Yay. Oh."
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"We are really fed up"
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"with this kind of treatment,"
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"and we're not going to let you get away with it."
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"That's it. That's right. Uh-huh."
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"So Spartacus here speaks for everyone?"
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"Yes, Dave, I am Spartacus."
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"And so is Matthew. Right, Matthew?"
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"I am Spartacus."
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"I am "Sparcatus" too."
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"Nay, demand."
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"Excuse me?"
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"You heard us."
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"Okay. And all of you support him in this?"
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"Yeah. Yeah."
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"This was supposed to be about snacks, Bill."
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"And gum."
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"It's symbolic."
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"Well, sir,"
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"are you going to pay for our chair or not?"
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"Of course not."
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"Fine. If you won't pay,"
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"we'll pay for it ourselves."
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"[DOOR CLOSES]"
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"Are you insane?"
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"Bill, if I spend $400 on a chair,"
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"You can't sell out the revolution."
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"You traitors."
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"Dave is the oppressor."
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"Thank heaven there's still someone"
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"Now, let's see..."
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"Since there's only two of us,"
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"that makes your share $1,200."
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"Well, anyways, I've only got 80, so I guess I--"
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"Yo, Catherine. Check it out."
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"I got a new thing for you."
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"You ready? You're gonna love it. You ready?"
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"Check this out."
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"Desk, turn on lamp."
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"Pretty cool, huh? Huh?"
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"Ready for this?"
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"Desk, open drawers."
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"Okay. Yeah, that's cool. Huh?"
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"And this thing will open all the drawers?"
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"[SIGHS]"
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"Joe, if you like Catherine,"
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"I am, in my own way."
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"I thought I was. No, why don't you just say:"
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"and I want to spend some time with you.""
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"but the thing is--"
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"Do you get Lisa's point?"
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""I'd like to spend some time with you"?"
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"Yeah. Are you kidding me?"
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"I'd never hear the end of it. Your buddies aren't here."
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"That must be what's throwing me off."
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"The other thing is, it's not just what you say,"
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"or the words or anything,"
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"it's how you treat a woman."
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"You know how many girls I've hooked up with free cable?"
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"Free cable, no charge, all right."
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"Fix their stereo, rewire their car..."
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"I mean, a lot of ladies dig a guy"
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"who knows how to use a set of alligator clamps."
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"What? What? What did he say?"
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"What are you talking about? No. I'll tell you--"
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"So you guys think I have a shot?"
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"LISA & BETH: No."
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"So why are you trying to help me out?"
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"Well, if you cared about me,"
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"then you'd really help me out."
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"[CLEARS THROAT] What?"
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"Oh, my God."
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"Here it is,"
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"The personal shiatsu massager chair."
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"Observe."
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"It can seek out and soothe"
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"It has shiatsu mode."
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"weekend in Thailand."
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"I'm glad you asked, Catherine,"
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"because, no."
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"None of you ingrates will ever set butt"
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"in this chair."
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"You can sit on the floor, for all I care."
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"Ah..."
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"Tobacco and whatever it is"
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"I think you better watch me for a while first. Oh."
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