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Clips from NewsRadio - Massage Chair (S03E03)

"and if you waltz in-- What?"
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"Figure of speech."
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"like some kind of snack hero,"
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"This time only, you can be the hero,"
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"Beth, call a staff meeting."
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"Uh-uh! Forget it, buddy! I am out of here!"
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"You were great."
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"It's the pictures that got small."
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"with me in there, gosh."
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"Look, no, I did not hit Mr. James."
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"I just made my point clearer."
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"[EXAGGERATING] So you're really making a stand on this thing, Dave?"
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"Yes, sir. I believe my staff deserves it."
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"You win."
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"No way!"
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"[MURMURING]"
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"What, with your little snack thing and all."
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"that will really make people happy."
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"sit in my massage chair."
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"Bill. Bill. Bill."
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"Now, I've drawn up a chair-sitting schedule,"
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"[POPPING]"
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"[ECHOING] No!"
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"And get all this crap off here."
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"I have had it with you, Joe."
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"Who's that?"
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"Your desk."
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"And what do you want?"
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"[LAUGHS]"
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"I'll just try to give him the hint,"
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"he should give up."
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"[LAUGHS]"
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"[GIGGLES]"
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"You lo-o-ove..."
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"[LAUGHS]"
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"In a minute. I'm kinda busy."
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"because it rings, but every time I pick it up,"
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"There's no incoming calls."
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"We're losing them all. And I can't dial out."
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"Sounds like you should call the manufacturer."
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"[LIKE RECORDED VOICE] I can't even dial out."
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"That sucks for you, huh?"
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"I'm busy. I got a lotta stuff I gotta do, okay?"
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"Look, I fixed your desk."
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"Well, you know how sometimes you wanna open up your drawer,"
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"Shut up. Ha..."
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"You love her."
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"You lo-o-ove her."
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"she'll marry me."
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"And then we can have little Catherine and Joe babies,"
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"Oh, you're a freak. Oh, thanks again, Joe."
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"What do I owe you? Uh, depends on what you got."
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"Well, you know, I was just thinking,"
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"Sex."
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"[♪]"
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"I'm sorry, Dave, but a budget"
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"is a budget is a budget,"
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"to paraphrase, uh-- Gertrude Stein."
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"What? Yeah-- "A rose is a rose is a rose.""
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"That's very pretty, Dave."
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"I mean, we are way, way over budget."
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"It seems to me the obvious cut--"
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"Cut out the free snacks for the break room."
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"that was in the red last year."
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"No, that's not how it works."
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"Look at Disney."
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"was running a deficit,"
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"you think Mickey Mouse would jump in there"
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"and bail him out?"
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"Well, what about Scrooge McDuck?"
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"He's the one with all the money."
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"No. No, no, no, no. Ducks, uh..."
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"So I assume they're just staying together for the kids."
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"the guys in my asbestos factory"
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"would be driving solid-gold"
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"All right, all right. All right, snacks are gone."
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"Okay. And I'm sorry, Dave."
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"You know I hate being the bad guy."
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"Okay. Would you rather have me do it?"
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"Too bad. No dice."
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"What are you worried about here, son?"
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"Well, I don't know."
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"Bill who whips them into a frenzy."
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"And because they're weak"
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"that frenzy turns into a full-scale revolt--"
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"Stop it. Will you relax?"
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"You got more paranoid fantasies"
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"than Stephen King on crack."
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"These people love you, Dave."
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"Dave's gone too far this time."
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"Imagine an office without snacks."
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"What is it?"
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"I forgot about it."
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"[CRACK]"
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"People, we should be working,"
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"enjoying the free snacks provided by our employer."
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"like the members of some icebound Brazilian soccer team."
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"Uh, in England, they call soccer football."
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"This may come as a surprise today,"
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"but slavery was abolished in this country--"
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"Why would I be offended"
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"I don't know. I just like to cover my bases."
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"I mean...look what's happened to our smoking lounge."
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"Oh, that's your smoking lounge, Bill."
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"I'm still very against that."
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"What's up, guys?"
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"Look, Dave is just doing his job."
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"So was Genghis Khan."
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"BILL: Right."
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"are upset, but I think my personal relationship"
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"with Dave ethically precludes me"
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"Sorry."
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"Aha. That's what"
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"Captain Kirk would have said."
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"I mean, I agree with you all in principle."
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"It's just that seeing as-- As Dave and I-- Do it?"
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"Are romantically-- Doing it?"
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"I don't think I can take either side"
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"in this mini-revolution. Hm."
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"Bill, you've really gotta stop getting your history"
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