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Clips from New Girl - Wedding (S01E01)

"Okay. Fancy."
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"Well, I'm Nicholas' girlfriend."
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"We just started dating, so we're still in that honeymoon phase."
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"Heh-heh. I barely sleep. So much doing it."
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"So much doing it. It's crazy."
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"He's so soft, like a towel."
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"Well, it was nice to meet you."
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"So nice to meet you too, Carol."
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"- Caroline. - I give up."
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"I guess I'll see you later."
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"For sure, for sure."
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"Oh, my God. Was she jealous? I think she was jealous. You did so good."
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"That was remarkable."
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"I just done what my mama learnt me."
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"Give me the teeth."
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"I'm standing in the wind"
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"Brooke. Hi. Wow."
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"Schmidt."
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"You used to borrow my poncho freshman year. Remember that? No?"
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"Fat Schmidt?"
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"Fat Schmidt. Of course."
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"Wow, you look great."
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"You also, for sure. Um..."
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"How are your classes?"
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"I mean, not that we're in school anymore. I know that."
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"- What are you drinking? White wine? - I'm not drinking."
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"I'm sober, six months."
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"- Can I get a seltzer, please? - Me too."
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"- You're six months sober also? - Seven months. One more."
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"- Wow, that's great. Congratulations. - Here's your white wine."
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"- Even the... Even smell of it. - I'm gonna run back to my table."
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"But you can come talk to me if you need to."
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"Okay, thank you."
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"So, what I need you to do is this. I need you to put vodka in a water bottle."
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"Then rendezvous with me in the restroom, okay?"
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"Same page? Same page?"
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"Winston, he's just a little boy. Relax."
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"If Brooke asks, I'm clean and sober and looking to settle down."
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"Great. Schmidt's sober. What are you doing?"
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"She's looking at us."
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"- Your head is shaped like a yam. - Yeah, I know. I can't wear soft hats."
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"Uh-huh."
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"I want to talk to her by myself."
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"- No. Are you sure? - Jess, I'm fine, for real."
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"Could that ceremony have lasted any longer?"
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"Ha, ha, ha. We loved it. Taking notes in case Mr. Commitment-Phobe over here..."
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"decides to make an honest woman out of me."
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"Hey, Jess, did you want to go do that thing from?"
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"- Yes, I did. I want to do it very badly. Yup. - Thank you."
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"And now for the first time ever, Mr. And Mrs. Handelman-Pyong."
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"Yeah! Bride and groom!"
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"Make way!"
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"Huzzah!"
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"Celebrate love!"
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"Get ready for a wonderful life of merriment and joy!"
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"Jess is..."
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"great. - The best. Yeah, so happy."
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"Are you guys pretty serious, or?"
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"Yeah, we are pretty serious."
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"Yeah, we live together."
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"I mean, different bedrooms, but shared bathroom, so that's something."
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"Alcohol. Any kind of alcohol you have. Just give me anything."
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"- Thanks. - Give me that."
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"Oh, God."
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"It's like you're lapping it out of a puddle."
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"You get those boots off a lady hiker?"
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"I'm gonna make you wear them."
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"- Huh. No. - No?"
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"- Is it bad that I can't feel my legs? - Yes. Now let's talk about my problems."
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"I deserve someone like Brooke. She's perfect."
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"And it doesn't matter that I have gymnastic..."
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"That's not what I want to do anymore. Not tonight."
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"What's so bad about liking Gretchen? You obviously have a weird connection."
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"No, no, I want to connect with Brooke."
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"I want to connect in the shower, on the floor."
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"You know what? - Sitting Indian style."
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"I'm going to put my hands over my ears."
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"- We got a problem. - What?"
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"Jess, what did you do?"
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"- What? They're fine. They're just talking. - No, no, no."
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"With Caroline, he is not fine."
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"He ran into her at a party months ago, then sent me a 10-page e-mail..."
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"about what she meant when she said, "I'll see you soon.""
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"She will flirt with him until she knows she can have him."
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"- It's like he's her backup plan. - I didn't know that."
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"You want to live with Nick when he's not showering and crying all day?"
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"Yeah, he just sounds like this: Unh, wah-hah."
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"- Yeah, my dad. - Yeah."
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"Okay, I get it, I'll go, but I just..."
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"- These bicycle shorts are really tight. - Come on."
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"- Work through it, woman. - Okay, okay."
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"Okay."
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"It's all on you, Jess."
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"Come on in, honey."
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"- The water's fine. - Jess, you know I don't dance."
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"I'm mime-walking. I'm Mime-chael Jackson."
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"I'll get a drink. - Me too."
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"- Nick, wait, no. - Jess, relax, this is good."
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"I may actually have a chance, and it's all because of you, so thank you."
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"No, Nick, that wasn't my intention. Nick. Oh, hi."
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"I don't feel like dancing right now. I'm sorry."
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"I'm really uncomfortable right now."
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"- Oh, Winston, thank God. Nick got away. - Nick can wait."
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"This... This is about honor."
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"He's a friend and I knew him before you"
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"And it looks like we have a dance-off."
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"What?"
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"Nick? Nick?"
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"A chocolate fountain."
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"Reminds me of the one in Tuscany. You ever been?"
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"Yeah. I was just there for New Year's. Where's the chocolate fountain?"
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"Schmidt!"
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"Schmidt, I need you to help me get these off so I can go find Nick!"
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"God, are you friends with that girl?"
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"- Schmidt! - Okay, look, I..."
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"I didn't want to have to tell you this..."
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"but she was a mistake I made when I hit rock-bottom."
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"Like I was Sid and she was Nancy."
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"Then I got sober and she couldn't deal with it."
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"And the poor thing just went... She went crazy."
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