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Clips from New Girl - Wedding (S01E01)

"Schmidt, I need you to come help me slap my thighs around!"
New Girl
"I don't want to scare you, but she can be really dangerous when she drinks."
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"I shouldn't even be in the same room with her, it's just..."
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"- Maybe we should get you out of here. - What a great idea. Yes."
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"I just have to go to the bathroom quickly."
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"Whatever you need. Whatever... Of course."
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"Ready? No lips."
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"- Name one, name one. - Do, uh, wind tunnel."
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"Super high driver's license."
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"Can we stay in here all night?"
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"Oh, hi."
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"Schmidt is very fond of you."
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"Oh, I'm just cutting off my underwear. You know. Girl stuff."
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"So tight."
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"but I've got a pretend boyfriend to hunt down."
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"- I think he's cheating on me. - Heh, heh, heh."
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"Oh, and don't break Schmidt's heart, or you'll have me to deal with."
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"- This is fun. - Ha, ha, ha."
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"Aha!"
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"- I trusted you! - Jess, get out of here."
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"- Nothing happened. - After everything we built."
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"- Go away, Jess. - Who are you?"
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"No, really, nothing happened. I have a boyfriend."
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"I didn't want to hurt your feelings."
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"And our baby."
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"Okay, I'm just gonna let you guys..."
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"And our other baby!"
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"- Jess, what happened with Brooke? - What?"
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"She left here in tears because she said you threatened her with a knife."
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"No, I was talking you up."
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"You shouldn't have. You should have been taking care of Nick."
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"- How is this my fault? - Ruiner."
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"Did you just call me a ruiner?"
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"- Yeah. - Okay, you know what?"
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"Forget it. I'm not helping you guys anymore. Give me my teeth back."
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"- Cool it. - Give them back."
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"I'm gonna have fun, because there's nothing wrong with who I am..."
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"and I like having fun at weddings."
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"And I like dancing."
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"And if you don't like that, then tough Tater Tots, tooter."
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"Jess is back."
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"You're going home with me, aren't you?"
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"Good boy."
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"I rock it up every night"
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"Would you party with me?"
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"That's Caroline and that's me."
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"Four years."
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"Four years together, so..."
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"I'm just so alone right now, man."
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"- It is a real bad situation. - Steve and Bree, babe."
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"Steve and Bree. Because that's what this is about. I agree."
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"You look great."
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"It feels a little bit like you're rubbing your happiness in my face..."
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"but let's be honest, Bree, this doesn't look great on you. This."
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"That's not a great look, Bree."
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"Congratulations, Steve. Nice fedora."
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"And no open bar, Steve?"
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"Don't you understand that's tacky?"
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"Your dad's rich, you're a lawyer, man."
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"Yeah. That happened."
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"The photo booth is a liar, FYI."
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"Oh, hey, ladies. You guys want to see a grown man cry?"
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"No? Then get out!"
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"I think I saw a single doctor looking at you."
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"This is gonna take a while, Orange."
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"Hey, there, partner."
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"Chances are..."
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"Hey, can I tell you something you promise to never tell Schmidt?"
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"I don't know why, I just always have."
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"Heh, heh, heh. You see that? That was like two in one."
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"You okay?"
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"- Yeah, I'm fine. - Those guys were jerks."
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"But I know they're glad you're around."
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"- Really? - Yeah."
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"They're not just gonna come out and say it. Especially Nick."
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"You know, but they're all thinking it."
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"Even me."
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"Most of the time."
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"It was weird when I was stuck in a freak sandwich..."
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"between you and that 8-year-old. Do you want to talk about that?"
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"Heh. You know, it's just that he got to be a bit annoying..."
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"so I kind of took my feelings out with dance."
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"Okay, so we have a situation."
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"They want me to leave the booth, you clowns, but I'm not gonna leave."
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"- Hey, Nick. How you doing, buddy? - They want me to leave the booth."
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"But I'm staying. This is my home now."
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"It's got everything that I need."
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"You can see by looking at these pictures..."
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"he's experiencing a variety of different emotions. This one is..."
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"Well, that's actually his butt."
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"- He just keeps saying "Jess." Jess."
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"The fact is that I was a mean person and I'm sorry, okay?"
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"- Hi, Nicholas. - Hey, Jess, I live in a photo booth now."
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"- Oh, is that so? - Yep. Come on in, come on in."
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"- That's the kitchen. - Very nice."
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"- This is the common area. - Okay."
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"Dining room, living room, everything."
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"It's very nice."
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"Hey."
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"- She has a boyfriend. - Yeah."
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"She shouldn't have been flirting with you all night."
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"You can't be her backup plan."
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"You have to let each other go."
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"So now you have to make a decision."
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"Am I gonna stay locked in a photo booth for the next hour..."
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"or am I gonna get out there, take my shoes off..."
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"and dance my face off?"
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"Come on, it's up to you."
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"Oh, man."
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"All right."
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"I love you, photo booth."
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"Yo, look at him."
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"He looks better."
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"I can't do this anymore."
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"I have to let you go, Caroline, for real."
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"It has to be over."
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"Goodbye. Good luck and everything."
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"Goodbye."
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"All right, I've got to..."
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"Excuse me."
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