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Clips from The League (2009) - The Au Pair (S03E03)

"Experience Andre."
The League (2009)
"I sweat like a man."
The League (2009)
"And I smell like... Ow!"
The League (2009)
"I'm in surgery."
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"Are you eating in here?"
The League (2009)
"like baby Jeffrey will be attending a Jewish preschool."
The League (2009)
"But I think I found a better solution."
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"Oh, no."
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"Oh, yeah."
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"I want a kid so I can have an au pair."
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"Pair!"
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"I gotta ask."
The League (2009)
"Guys, online dating is a perfectly acceptable way for"
The League (2009)
"No, obvious would be human beings having sex, and Andre made me take those"
The League (2009)
"images out."
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"If we're looking at photos, I got some photos of, au pair applicants."
The League (2009)
"That is not the point."
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"Let me see."
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"We need someone who can cook, must be good with kids, must know how to read."
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"Ashley R. This is my girl."
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"Temptation."
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"I'm not gonna try to sleep with her."
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"She's in high school."
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"Your au pair needs an au pair."
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"Double au pair!"
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"What are we doing?"
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"Sorry. But really quick though.."
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"Yes?"
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"You know what? Ask me again."
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"Hi!"
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"There's nothing around here you can afford."
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"I thought we had plans."
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"Oh, the one with my name on it that's in my garage normally?"
The League (2009)
"What?"
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"Look, you guys can all hang out here and watch the games, but that is it."
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"Okay."
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"You don't want to play?"
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"I don't mean to."
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"You want to watch, like, MTV or something?"
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"Oh, that'd be cool."
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"Mommy?"
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"you don't mind."
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"Why don't you take him? Yeah."
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"No!"
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"Yeah, yeah, yeah."
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"Gotta say, guys, good vibes on the au pair."
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"Thanks, guys."
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"I didn't mean... That's why you can't get a girl."
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"That's a choice, Sofia."
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"Look, I know what you guys are trying to pull here."
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"boof-- the charm machine."
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"Was that the charm machine that you just shut down?"
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"Yeah."
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"Why does it have a crank on it?"
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"It's hydraulics."
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"By the way, guys, don't touch the guacamole."
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"Is it gross?"
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"My boy, Matthews, give me those points."
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"There we go!"
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"Vulturing's the way to go, man."
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"Yeah, exactly."
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"Oh, don't bring this up."
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"And congratulations. Hey."
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"happened to me."
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"I love hats with words on them."
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"We would love some more."
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"It went on accidentally."
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"Do you need money?"
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"Yeah. Yeah."
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"All right, just don't go crazy."
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"Have fun."
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"No. I'm not going... It is nice to catch up, brother."
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"You guys still doing missionary Wednesdays?"
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"Oh, I can't believe I told you that."
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"Whoa. Look at the twins."
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"They're not twins, Taco."
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"Do they even look like sisters?"
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"Whoa."
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"Mr. Sunshine?"
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"I send you his podcast every week. Don't you listen to it?"
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"That guy right there, he's going to help me win."
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"Okay."
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"What are you... Gah, oh... What... now... Can I get a beer?"
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"Compliments of the gentleman over there."
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"Oh, thanks."
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"I'm, uh, Kevin."
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"Appreciate this."
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"My pleasure."
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"Every once in a while... That's not me. That's not my"
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"Actually, I don't think so."
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"No worries."
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"Is Kevin Kalb a top-ten quarterback in... in... Well, actually..."
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"No touching. Creeps him out."
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"Great."
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"Taco, I'm Matthew."
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"When was your last title?"
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"All right. I... I... I... I think I get it."
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"This is what I do for a living."
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"You put your hand down."
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"Yeah, no."
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"I don't know if I'll even ever really need it."
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"...thanks for the beer."
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"All right."
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"See you guys."
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"See you later, Matthew."
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"Hey guys."
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"Want to go?"
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"♪ Ruxin's home alone!"
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"What you gonna do with that ♪ cracker?"
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"Yeah."
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"Just having a martini after a long day of defending the"
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"We're out of jelly."
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"Vanessa... she is hot."
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"And you look just like Tom Cruise."
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"And there's like a 65 %"
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"chance that she'll hurt herself while she's up there, and I"
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"But who would save her from you?"
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"Hey, hey."
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"Did you neg him?"
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"If this was a first date, it would be the greatest first date"
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