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Clips from Veep - Full Disclosure (S01E01)

"Here's the deal, Sue. You can't win, all right?"
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"Infallible like that, Gary?"
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"The guy at the drugstore saw the badge and sold the story."
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"Okay. Then you're all..."
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"Which is why that was just a hypothetical."
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"-you would have resigned? -No, ma'am."
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"I was never really committed to this as an idea."
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"Mike, you can't even announce a suicide pact correctly."
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"-Uh-huh. -Well, equally, 'cause it's been my life."
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"-And my feelings for you... -Okay."
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"Okay, Gary, get a hold of yourself. I mean..."
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"Thank you, by the way, for doing that."
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"-Just have a seat. -Please."
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"Amy, just sit down, okay? Just sit down."
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"Um... What are we gonna do with you?"
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"How are we gonna fix this?"
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"So why don't..."
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"We say some of us mishandled things"
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"Okay."
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"the pregnancy test was for me."
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"Is that what you mean?"
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"It's kind of a personal thing."
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"I need something for my head."
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"-Yeah, I had heard. -Yeah, well,"
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"Yes, I had a miscarriage."
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"Oh, I'm so sorry."
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"I just wanted to explain the state of mind I was in"
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"-I see. -Knock-ity knock, knock, knock."
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"-What? -Peep you later."
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"Hi. Sorry to interrupt."
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"-Make that two. -Two iced teas."
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"Thanks. Oh, and not from here."
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"ROD: That’s right, Vic. She fired one of her Secret Service men because he smiled."
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"He wasn't fired, he was reassigned."
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"VIC: This doesn’t look good for the VP’s Chief of Staff Amy Brookheimer."
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"Amy, you listening to Crock FM right now?"
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"Yeah, that's exactly what I'm doing."
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"All right, sir, no."
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"Okay, okay. Hey, hey, easy, dough boy."
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"Hands off the suit."
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"-Hello? -Dan."
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"Oh, I take no pleasure in my colleague's very public, brutal..."
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"Hey, I'm on the phone with AT&T. Can you stop shouting ”menstrual?"
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"Yeah, she probably will. Although, when you think about it,"
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"it's actually kind of worse for you."
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"Is that right?"
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"Well, the VP's office is a cataclysm on spin cycle."
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"It's gonna be last in and first out and you're a dead Dan walking... What the fuck?"
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"For fuck's sake. If this is broken, I'm adding it to your fucking rent."
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"ROD: Please call in on this one. Should Amy Brookheimer go?"
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"SELINA: But the bottom line is, you keep the streets safe,"
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"I'll keep your budget safe."
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"I'm kidding. I'm kidding, I'm kidding. (LAUGHS)"
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"Hey, ma'am, it's leave o'clock."
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"Thank you so much."
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"Let's be cheerful out there."
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"SELINA: Mike, this is not a story."
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"Collins made a bunch of faces, he was reassigned."
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"That shouldn't be news. How in the hell did this happen?"
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"”So why don't you shut the fuck up?”"
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"or would if it could still talk."
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"Alone!"
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"She didn't mean that. She's got a lot on her mind today."
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"Or someone who's undermining the President by back-channeling Macauley."
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"That's bullshit."
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"Okay, I need to tell you guys something."
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"Oh, what, is she out of hand sanitizer again?"
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"I can't say this. I can't tell you this."
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"Gary, why are you talking in cliff-hangers?"
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"Well, this is good for us. Right?"
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"How is she?"
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"That's deep space cold, Dan."
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"Explains why you piss liquid nitrogen."
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"Okay, everybody. Please come into my office."
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"White House is in the house. Everybody say way-o!"
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"Madam Vice President, top story today"
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"is that viral sensation that's sweeping the nation."
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"-Uh, may I? -No, you may not."
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"It's tagged ”Selina Sell-outta.”"
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"Are, are, are..."
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"She sets up a Clean Jobs Task Force that includes not one, but two oil men."
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"I’m gonna tell you the truth."
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"(LAUGHING)"
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"-I love this part. -Could you..."
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"I am Selina Meyer."
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"And I don’t have any idea"
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"what’s going on in my office."
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"All right, pack up your limbs and get the fuck out, Jonah."
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"-ls punching allowed? -Oh, you wouldn't stand a chance."
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"-Hey, did everybody get a chance to see this? -No!"
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"Amy, what are we gonna do?"
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"That's right, Mike. Good. You know what?"
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"You're gonna have to go talk to him, okay?"
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"Okay, there's a White House request to publish"
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"all the Secret Service office personnel records."
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"Are you kidding me? They want our records now?"
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"What are we gonna do? What?"
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"Well, we have to release those. And that has got me thinking,"
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"why not release all of our fucking records?"
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"-Full disclosure. -Are you serious?"
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"All of our emails, and all of our phone records."
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"Right, right, 'cause they won't have time to read everything."
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"I don't read half the stuff I'm supposed to."
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"then we can actually hide some stuff."
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"Just because this isn't your baby, you don't..."
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"God, I am so sorry."
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"I mean, it was like a heavy period. Don't worry about it."
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"Full disclosure is now the name of the game."
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"Mike will fill you in on the rest of it."
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"-Right, Mike? -Yes, ma'am."
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"Okay."
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"Okay? It's gonna be partial disclosure light."
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"There can be no... Are you writing that down?"
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"make sure there are no meetings there that I did-didn't have."
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"The accidentally racist brochure that we had to shred."
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"there needs to be something embarrassing in there."
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"-You know what I mean? -Sure."
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"So it doesn't look as if we've just airbrushed the nipples out of this fucking thing."
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"No, that's really good. And it makes...yeah."
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"Your back facials."
Veep
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