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Clips from Seinfeld - The Dinner Party (S05E05)

"- George, get a Penthouse Forum. - I'm not getting a Penthouse Forum."
Seinfeld
"No, that'll make great dinner-party conversation."
Seinfeld
"- Oh, that's nice. - You ever read one of these?"
Seinfeld
"It's not real. They're all made up."
Seinfeld
"Oh, it's real."
Seinfeld
"You know, then there's an unusual number of people having sex..."
Seinfeld
"Penthouse Forum."
Seinfeld
"Newspaper, gum, Clark Bar."
Seinfeld
"Six seventy-five."
Seinfeld
"I'm sorry. It's a new coat."
Seinfeld
"We better be careful with that thing."
Seinfeld
"See, the key to eating a black-and-white cookie..."
Seinfeld
"...is you wanna get some black and some white in each bite."
Seinfeld
"Nothing mixes better than vanilla and chocolate."
Seinfeld
"And yet still somehow, racial harmony eludes us."
Seinfeld
"...all our problems would be solved."
Seinfeld
"Well, your views on race relations are just fascinating."
Seinfeld
"You really should do an op-ed piece for The Times."
Seinfeld
"Look to the cookie, Elaine."
Seinfeld
"Look to the cookie."
Seinfeld
"What is this?"
Seinfeld
"What?"
Seinfeld
"It's a hair."
Seinfeld
"Take it back. Get another one."
Seinfeld
"- No, we're late. I'll take it off. - Get another one. It'll take a second."
Seinfeld
"All right, all right."
Seinfeld
"- Excuse me. - Hey, hey."
Seinfeld
"- I'm on line here. - No, no, we just bought this."
Seinfeld
"You sold us a cake with a hair on it."
Seinfeld
"You have to take a number."
Seinfeld
"We waited 15 minutes for this."
Seinfeld
"You sell me a cake with a hair on it..."
Seinfeld
"...and then you want me to wait?"
Seinfeld
"I'm not gonna eat a cake with a hair on it."
Seinfeld
"It was a little hair. I took it off."
Seinfeld
"A little hair? Do you think that makes it better?"
Seinfeld
"- What if it's your hair? - What if it's your hair?"
Seinfeld
"What is wrong with my hair? Nobody takes better care of their hair than me."
Seinfeld
"You can serve dinner on my head."
Seinfeld
"You use that misty herbal rainwater crap they sell in the health food store."
Seinfeld
"I use Prell, the hard stuff."
Seinfeld
"Hundred proof, takes your roots out."
Seinfeld
"Okay, fine. We'll just wait till she calls the number."
Seinfeld
"Maybe we should forget about the cake."
Seinfeld
"No. I'm bringing cake."
Seinfeld
"All right, we got the wine. Aren't we lucky? We got wine."
Seinfeld
"Imagine if we didn't bring the wine. We'd be shunned by society."
Seinfeld
"Outcasts. Where's your wine? Get out!"
Seinfeld
"I know this is gonna sound like a crazy fantasy..."
Seinfeld
"...but every word of this story is true."
Seinfeld
"Look- Look at this."
Seinfeld
"Somebody double-parked and blocked us in."
Seinfeld
"Does anybody know whose car that is?"
Seinfeld
"Maybe there's a note on it. Oh, brother."
Seinfeld
"No. No note."
Seinfeld
"- Can you believe this? - Of course, I noticed her too..."
Seinfeld
"...with those ample breasts and pouty lips."
Seinfeld
"I don't have to tell you she was a knockout."
Seinfeld
"I really cannot comprehend how stupid people can be sometimes."
Seinfeld
"- Can you comprehend it? - No, I can't comprehend it."
Seinfeld
"We can put a man on the moon, but we're still basically very stupid."
Seinfeld
"The guy whose car this is could be the guy that built the rocket."
Seinfeld
"- See what I'm saying? - He could build the rocket."
Seinfeld
"He's still stupid for double-parking and blocking somebody in."
Seinfeld
"You understand my point about building rockets and double-parking?"
Seinfeld
"On one hand, he's smart with rockets. On the other, he's dumb with parking."
Seinfeld
"It's cold out here, huh?"
Seinfeld
"Maybe it's not stupidity. Maybe it's just a blatant disregard..."
Seinfeld
"...for basic human decency."
Seinfeld
"This is how dictators start."
Seinfeld
"Think Mussolini would circle the block six times for a spot?"
Seinfeld
"How about Idi Amin, huh?"
Seinfeld
"If I was running for office, I'd ask for the death penalty for double-parkers."
Seinfeld
"- Are those shoes comfortable? - No, not really."
Seinfeld
"- No. That's out of the question. - Why?"
Seinfeld
"Because I had a bad experience with a hair when I was younger."
Seinfeld
"- What happened? - I'd rather not talk about it."
Seinfeld
"- You can't tell me? - All right."
Seinfeld
"I once found a hair in my farina, and I freaked out."
Seinfeld
"You found a hair in your farina?"
Seinfeld
"- What happened? - I screamed:"
Seinfeld
"There's a hair in my farina. There's a hair in my farina."
Seinfeld
"I was little, but I could run really fast."
Seinfeld
"...they found me three hours later collapsed at a construction site."
Seinfeld
"- Whose hair was it? - My mother's."
Seinfeld
"- Fifty-eight. - That's us."
Seinfeld
"Oh, good."
Seinfeld
"You sold us a hair with a cake around it."
Seinfeld
"We'd like another one."
Seinfeld
"Oh, that's lovely. That's what you wanna see, yeah."
Seinfeld
"Yeah, you wanna trade your hair for some phlegm."
Seinfeld
"You win the pennant with that trade. Hair for phlegm."
Seinfeld
"- Here you are. - Okay. All right..."
Seinfeld
"...we got the cake now."
Seinfeld
"Where is George and Kramer?"
Seinfeld
"Hey, double-parker!"
Seinfeld
"Show yourself!"
Seinfeld
"We are really late now."
Seinfeld
"- We're in big trouble. Big trouble. - Why?"
Seinfeld
"You know, Elaine."
Seinfeld
"What about her?"
Seinfeld
"- You're scared of Elaine? - Yes."
Seinfeld
"Why?"
Seinfeld
"Did you ever see her lose her temper?"
Seinfeld
"I was once late because I bought a Panama hat."
Seinfeld
"She pulled it down so hard my head came right through the top."
Seinfeld
"Hey, hey, hey. That's great. That's very nice."
Seinfeld
"We been waiting 20 minutes for you people."
Seinfeld
"- You think you're Mussolini? - Back off, puffball, it's not my car!"
Seinfeld
"Wait till I get my hands on that George."
Seinfeld
"...tie the strings..."
Seinfeld
"What?"
Seinfeld
"- What's the matter with you? - I don't know. I don't feel so good."
Seinfeld
"What's wrong?"
Seinfeld
"My stomach."
Seinfeld
"I think it was that cookie."
Seinfeld
"- The black-and-white? - Yeah."
Seinfeld
"Not getting along?"
Seinfeld
"I think I got David Duke and Farrakhan down there."
Seinfeld
"If we can't look to the cookie, where can we look?"
Seinfeld
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