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Clips from The Office - Women's Appreciation (S03E03)

""Jim Halpert. Tardiness.""
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"You've got to learn, Jim. You are a second in command,"
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"Oh, I understand."
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"Three demerits, and you'll receive a citation."
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"Oh, it is serious."
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"Four of those, and you'll receive a verbal warning."
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"written up by me, and placed on the desk of my immediate superior."
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"Move!"
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"Okay, I'll call the real police."
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"What happened? What can I do to help?"
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"Okay."
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"If that's flashing, then lock me up."
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"Oh, some guy exposed himself to Phyllis in the parking lot."
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"Really? Is she okay?"
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"Or, Karen from behind?"
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"Oh, okay."
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"Hey, what's going on? There's a police car in the..."
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"Incidentally, where were you during all of this?"
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"I... You know..."
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"As that was coming out of my mouth, I knew that it was wrong."
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"In all the excitement,"
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"I'm spending a fortune on gas and tools."
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"Hunter, are you on? HUNTER: You got it, Jan."
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"DWIGHT: The employees of this office are very small and delicate."
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"And that can't happen. Not in my house."
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"Answer. No, because this is being given priority one."
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"to upgrade their security cameras"
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"But that is a risk we have to take."
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"Why don't you work with Phallus"
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"I've got penises on the brain. Back to work, everybody."
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"I didn't really get a good look."
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"Hey, did you guys see this memo that Dwight sent out?"
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"Nobody dresses like that."
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"MICHAEL: Okay. You know something, Dwight?"
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"We are not the terrorists."
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"and hit them with a stick?"
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"Look, it's really simple."
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"We just want you guys to treat us with respect."
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"He's a homosexual."
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"I know the crap out of women."
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"When Meredith flashed me at that Christmas party,"
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"A penis, when seen in the right context,"
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"Magazines and TV shows and movies"
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"I don't even consider myself a part of society."
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"Yes."
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"Thank you."
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"I'm saying that you're being sexist."
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"No. I'm being misogynistic. That is insane."
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"Michael. Yes."
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"When I got my hair cut short,"
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"That was one possible explanation"
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"as to why you got that haircut."
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"And when we get mad, you always ask us if we're on our periods."
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"with idiotic calendars anymore."
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"It's because of where we are."
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"Steamtown Mall."
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"Malls are just awful and humiliating."
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"They're just store after store"
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"Okay! Let's go, ladies of Dunder Mifflin."
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"Hey, we should have a calendar printed up."
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"Pam, put that in my good idea folder."
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"Are you finished with the sketch?"
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"You can run, but you cannot hide."
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"Thanks. I know how to drive."
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"Oh. Yeah. You really shouldn't litter."
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"Yeah, but, it's every guy's fantasy."
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"Yeah."
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"I'm going in."
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"Go crazy."
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"I really appreciate your letting me work"
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"Of course you do, moonface."
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"No duh."
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"Aye, aye, Captain."
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"Anna Maria's."
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"you guys were just, like, hooking up."
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"She might mention an e-mail that I wrote a while back."
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"but she really likes you as a friend."
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"I wouldn't want to be in an office relationship, anyway."
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"All right. I hope nobody's on a diet."
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"Okay."
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"Awesome."
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"Well, Jan has this schoolgirl fantasy."
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"I feel uncomfortable wearing the dress."
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"and order clothes for large colonial dolls."
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"that you're uncomfortable with."
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"And then, watching it back right afterward to improve my form."
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"That is not healthy behavior."
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"Read the pros first."
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"Cons."
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""Breasts not anything to write home about."
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""Flat-chested." What was the last one?"
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"Look, most relationships have their rough patches."
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"I want to break up with Jan."
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"No one said it has no calories."
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"I want to do something nice for you,"
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"And to be wearing see-through underpants."
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"a woman looks best when she is just absolutely naked."
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"(EXCLAIMS)"
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"You don't want anything? My treat."
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"Some panties, or..."
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"Get a nice bra. Padded bra."
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"I'm kind of in between boyfriends right now,"
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"I figure I can cut up this robe."
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"Slower."
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"Here. Meredith?"
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"Why don't you put your hazards on?"
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"I think I've got it."
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"All by myself."
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"Abso-fruitly."
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"MICHAEL: Hey, Jan. It's me. Michael."
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"(MICHAEL EXCLAIMS)"
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"You mean, how can I be so illogical"
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"Well, maybe I learned something from women after all."
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"Above the sink."
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"Hey. Hey."
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"That is a demerit."
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"Oh. I love it, already."
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"but that does not put you above the law."
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"And I also have lots of questions."
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"Like, what does a demerit mean?"
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