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Clips from Superstore - Election Day (S02E02)

"We've got to come up with an alibi"
Superstore
"for what we've been doing all day."
Superstore
"Okay, uh..."
Superstore
"We were in my office."
Superstore
"- And we were working. - Too vague."
Superstore
"The more specific the lie, the more believable it is."
Superstore
"Okay, we were in your office because you were telling me"
Superstore
"about the affair you've been having"
Superstore
"with your dental hygienist."
Superstore
"She likes when you dance for her."
Superstore
"I do not want to be having an affair!"
Superstore
"Then you've been dancing for Shelley!"
Superstore
"- All right, fine! - Okay."
Superstore
"I'll erase the security cam footage."
Superstore
"You need to find a field at least an hour's drive from here"
Superstore
"Then we can never, ever, ever tell anyone..."
Superstore
"Hey!"
Superstore
"Not to put my head in the lion's mouth,"
Superstore
"but now I'm thinking Times New Roman."
Superstore
"and so would Helvetica and Garamond,"
Superstore
"and really any font would be just fine."
Superstore
"Not Wingdings."
Superstore
"No one was suggesting Wingdings."
Superstore
"Oh, you guys looking at porn?"
Superstore
"What? No. We're making the pamphlet."
Superstore
"Wow! And they said it couldn't be done."
Superstore
"But lo and behold, here you are doing it,"
Superstore
"making a pamphlet!"
Superstore
"I feel like he's mocking us."
Superstore
"Oh, Palatino's nice, actually."
Superstore
"You watching porn?"
Superstore
"Oh, I know that girl."
Superstore
"Guess who got a sticker."
Superstore
"Oh, my God, really?"
Superstore
"I made it myself."
Superstore
"Yeah."
Superstore
"I appreciate it."
Superstore
"The thought, not the sticker,"
Superstore
"because it's useless."
Superstore
"It's garbage. 'Kay?"
Superstore
"- Hey, girl. - Hey."
Superstore
"- Bitching color, boo. - I know, right?"
Superstore
"Yeah, really brings out the blueness of her veins."
Superstore
"Listen, I've been thinking about it a lot lately,"
Superstore
"and I have decided that you are my best friend in the store."
Superstore
"- Me? Really? - Yeah."
Superstore
"Okay, well, you're nice too."
Superstore
"Yeah, I am nice."
Superstore
"Anyway, I've been thinking about it,"
Superstore
"and I feel like we should just have"
Superstore
"a good old-fashioned girlfriend gabfest."
Superstore
"Maybe you could tell me if you've seen or heard"
Superstore
"anything suspicious recently."
Superstore
"Mm. Suspicious?"
Superstore
"Yeah, you know, like... I don't know..."
Superstore
"if you know of anybody doing anything illegal."
Superstore
"Dish, girlfriend!"
Superstore
"Mm. Um, no."
Superstore
"Really?"
Superstore
"'Cause, you know, there's nothing I hate more"
Superstore
"than when my best friends lie to me."
Superstore
"Okay, I have to go."
Superstore
"I have to pee really bad."
Superstore
"Excuse me."
Superstore
"You want me to come with?"
Superstore
"That's what best girlfriends do, right?"
Superstore
"- Do you think she knows? - It's hard to say."
Superstore
"She's either playing dumb or just is."
Superstore
"Jack Peterson is anti-union, anti-worker,"
Superstore
"but Gary Langham wants to raise minimum wage..."
Superstore
"- And expand sick days. - Paid sick days."
Superstore
"I don't know about youse guys,"
Superstore
"Not all warehouse workers are from 1950s Brooklyn."
Superstore
"You know what, I'm fed up with these corporate fat cats too."
Superstore
"- I'll take one of those. - Hey!"
Superstore
"Thank you very much. I appreciate it."
Superstore
"You really think Dina knows?"
Superstore
"Maybe. She asked me a lot of weird questions."
Superstore
"The stupid poll worker lady is guarding those stickers"
Superstore
"Oh, hey. Mateo, did you vote?"
Superstore
"Oh, my God. Why is everyone obsessed with voting today?"
Superstore
"Oh."
Superstore
"So then, I took the S train"
Superstore
"from the docks to my mother's house in Flatbush."
Superstore
"respecting your mother like that."
Superstore
"Yeah, but sometimes, you got to say,"
Superstore
""Hey, Ma, I'm going out with the fellas.""
Superstore
"- Yeah. - "I'll see you at church.""
Superstore
"Oh, your guy's religious."
Superstore
"No, he goes to church"
Superstore
"to respect his mother's old-world values."
Superstore
"- Sure. - Obviously."
Superstore
"That's the story."
Superstore
"You know, don't take this the wrong way,"
Superstore
"but I feel like you've become a lot more fun since I've known you."
Superstore
"Thanks."
Superstore
"And if I may return the compliment,"
Superstore
"I think you've become marginally less annoying."
Superstore
"Don't make me blush in front of the fellas, huh?"
Superstore
"You were in there a while."
Superstore
"Yeah, it's okay."
Superstore
"We just wanted to make sure"
Superstore
"there were enough poll workers out there,"
Superstore
"Even though, as I keep telling him,"
Superstore
"there's almost no voter fraud in this country."
Superstore
"I mean, it's not worth the penalty of, um..."
Superstore
"$10,000 and five years in prison."
Superstore
"Did you say "prison"?"
Superstore
"- Or "prism"? - Why would he say "prism"?"
Superstore
"What's five years in prism?"
Superstore
"Let him answer."
Superstore
"- With an N or an M? - Oh, my God."
Superstore
"- So then I rip up my note cards. - No."
Superstore
"And say, "Fellow students, forget these note cards.""
Superstore
"Going rogue."
Superstore
""I'm going to speak from my heart.""
Superstore
"And then, from the back of the auditorium, Renee yells..."
Superstore
"No. Mm-mm."
Superstore
"Oh! Renee is the worst."
Superstore
"I haven't even told you about the Winter Ball story..."
Superstore
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