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Clips from The Muppet Show (1976) - Phyllis Diller (S01E01)

"♪ It's time to meet the Muppets on The Muppet Show tonight"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"♪ To introduce our guest star"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"♪ So it really makes me happy"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"♪ On the most sensational, inspirational"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"and welcome to The Muppet Show."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"with our super, extra-special guest star -"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"Oh, well, you see, I think you work too hard, frog of my heart,"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"The ro... What rope?"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"(♪ "Mississippi Mud" by James Cavanaugh and Harry Barris)"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"♪ Hey, hey, Uncle Dud"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"♪ Lordy, how I'm telling you"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"♪ When the people beat their feet on the Mississippi mud"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"Ah-hah!"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"♪ And the people gather 'round and they all begin to shout"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"♪ They don't need no band"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"♪ They keep time by clapping their hands"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"♪ Just as happy as a cow a-chewing on the cud"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"♪ When the people beat their feet on the Mississippi mud ♪"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"(applause)"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"Very believable. Good number. Great number."
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"Oh, that Miss Diller... she is so wonderful."
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"Oh, yes, Scooter. And so young-looking."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"Oh, you mean lifted? Oh, sure, yeah."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"A person should stay young and dynamic"
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"that she makes The Great Gonzo seem like Sir Laurence Olivier."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"Here she is, the zaniest of them all,"
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"Yes."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"But since there are none around, I'll go ahead and annoy you."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"I'm a hound. What should I do, people you?"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"I'm Rowlf."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"Say, you are depressed. Oh, miss?"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"Oh, you think that's bad?"
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"The first three months of my life, there was a newspaper strike."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"(plays piano)"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"Uh, me, too."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"I just made my wings out of aluminum,"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"Yes, yes. Go on."
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"and boarded a plane for Dallas."
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"Ah. Ah. Finally good to get out of that box."
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"♪ Oh, lazybones"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"♪ When you're sleeping in the evening shade"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"Mmm, yeah."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"♪ Oh, I say, lazybones"
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"♪ Loafing through the day"
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"Yeah."
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"Uh, oh. We're on, we're on. Oh."
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"I can't do that joke."
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"Well, you just did. You told them you're a comedian."
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"I live in an apartment so small, the mice are hunchbacked."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"You're just gonna have to learn to lie."
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"♪ Hugga wugga"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"♪ Hugga wugga"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"♪ Hoogy woogy heeky hooky"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"(explosion)"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"♪ Hugga wugga"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"♪ Hug ♪ Hugga"
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"(♪ funk)"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"♪ Hugga wugga"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"(music stops)"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"(♪ funk)"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"(explosion)"
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"♪ ...shine"
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"(explosion)"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"♪ Buggy buggy mugga mugga"
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"Hugga wugga?"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"♪ How much I love you"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"Hugga wugga!"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"♪ You are my sunshine, my only sunshine ♪"
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"And he calls me an old fool?"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"Oh, sure, yeah. Those dressing room towels have been dirty for a week."
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"Ah. Isn't that cunning, folks?"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"So, that's all for now from... uh... Muppet."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"It's my new pocket camera. It takes great pictures. You see there?"
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"Yes, yes. I was just tending to an emergency."
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"OK. Where's the next patient?"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"What else? Toast!"
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"Gee, who is that? She is beautiful."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"Oh, darn. My girdle had a blowout."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"Oh, that's OK, Hilda. We love you like you are anyhow."
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"(starts to play badly)"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"(plays the last note flat)"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"(finally plays the last note)"
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"We'd like to thank our special guest star - Miss Phyllis Diller!"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"Thank you, thank you, Kermit."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"Oh, you're welcome, you're welcome, Phyllis."
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"Sure. Yes."
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"on The M... Aaaah!"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"See you next time on The Muppet Show. Haaa!"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"It's The Muppet Show,"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"with our special guest star, Miss Phyllis Diller!"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"(♪ "The Muppet Show" theme)"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"♪ It's time to light the lights"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"♪ It's time to put on makeup"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"♪ It's time to dress up right"
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"♪ It's time to raise the curtain on The Muppet Show tonight"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"Hey! Did you hear the one about the kangaroo"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"who walked into a store,"
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"and this hippopotamus comes out and says to the kanga..."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"Hey, I wasn't finished!"
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"♪ That's what I'm here to do"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"♪ To introduce to you..."
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"Miss Phyllis Diller!"
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"♪ But now let's get things started"
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"♪ Celebrational, Muppetational"
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"♪ This is what we call"
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"♪ The Muppet Show ♪"
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"(applause)"
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"Thank you. Oh, good evening, ladies and gentlemen,"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"We've got a really terrific show for you tonight,"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"Miss Phyllis Diller."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"Now, to get things started, we..."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"Excuse me. There seems to be a frog on the stage."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"There is supposed to be a frog on the stage."
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"so I thought I would introduce the show this week."
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"OK, fine. You introduce the show, and I will pull the rope."
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"Uh, the rope for the trapdoor."
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"The trap... Aah!"
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"(crash)"
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"Now let's get things started on The Muppet Show"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"with some "Mississippi Mud.""
The Muppet Show (1976)
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