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Clips from Chappelle's Show - Episode #2.3 (S02E02)

"Huh?"
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"What is it?"
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"(man) Box of wine."
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"Box of wine?"
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"(speaking dryly) Box of wine."
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"Puts me right out."
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"We're gonna take a quick commercial break"
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"don't go nowhere,"
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"Chappelle's Show."
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"Better not bring your kids!"
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"(cheers & applause)"
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"Welcome back."
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"One thing I've been hearing a lot recently is,"
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""you make fun of everybody and everything"
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"'Cause it's not easy, I'm sensitive."
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"I feel like I owe you no less."
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"Hey, I'm Dave Chappelle, host of Chappelle's Show."
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"Many guys are familiar with my onscreen persona"
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"but the question keeps popping up:"
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"Who is Dave Chappelle, really?"
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"Well, guys, the answer isn't so simple."
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"You see, in the last 12 years"
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"I've been at least three different people."
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"There's me at 18."
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"Sincere, earnest, relentlessly optimistic."
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"Then there was me at 24."
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"Budding movie star, reefer addict"
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"and a man with a sexual appetite"
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"Then, of course, is the man who stands in front of you now."
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"Proud father, loyal husband"
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"and prompt taxpayer."
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"All three of these men have difference psyches"
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"and handled things in very different ways."
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"I'd like to explore these three men tonight"
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"in a piece that I like to call:"
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"All right, first scenario:"
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"Why don't we take a look at how I used to handle that at 18."
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"Charon..."
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"Charon, look, I wanna work this out"
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"but you gotta talk to me, you gotta open up."
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"Last week, when we were at that Das EFX concert,"
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"I riggity-realized that I..."
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"I liggity-love you."
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"Piggity-pow."
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"You act like all I wanna do is"
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"What a biggity-bitch."
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"I'm talkin' about myself of course."
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"All right, well, let's see how I handle"
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"relationship difficulties at 24."
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"I love her, but she don't trust me."
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"I can't be with someone who don't trust me."
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"Oh, that sounds terrible."
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"$10."
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"That I smelled like I been at the titty bar."
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"So-the-fuck-what?"
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"Let's see how I handle relationship problems today"
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"now that I'm a father and a husband"
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"and all that good stuff."
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"baby, you up?"
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"(grunting)"
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"Scenario two:"
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"Let's say I'm pulled over by the police"
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"and I'm being treated less than fairly."
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"These kinds of things happen."
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"Why don't we see how 18-year-old Dave used to handle that."
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"Help!"
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"now, let's take a look at 24-year old Dave."
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"I ain't do nothin'..."
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"get on the ground! On the ground!"
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"Hah!"
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"What about you!"
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"Why don't you get on the ground!"
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"That's right, gimme my license back!"
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"That's right!"
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"I am high... I'm high!"
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"And now, let's take a look at 30-year old Dave."
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"Hi, license, insurance and registration, please."
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"Sure."
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"Sorry about that, I was running late for a shoot"
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"for my show... Chappelle's Show."
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"I'm Dave Chappelle."
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"Yeah?"
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""I'm rich bitch.""
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"Don't get it."
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"Buckle up, baby!"
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"Hah!"
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"Over the last 12 years"
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"my career went through a lot of ups and downs."
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"And a lot of people ask me,"
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""Dave, how do you handle it"
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"when you lose out on a movie part that you really want?""
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"That's a good question."
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"So, who got the part?"
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"The Wayans bothers?"
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"And here's how I handled the same type of situation at 24."
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"Chris Tucker?"
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"Fuck!"
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"This is the second time this happened."
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"Who got the other part?"
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"Tell me, man, just..."
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"Jackie Chan?!"
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"That motherfucker can't even speak English!"
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"And now..."
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"here's how sensible shoe Dave handles it at 30."
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"Who?"
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"Who's Nick Cannon?"
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"Daddy, Nick Cannon is hilarious."
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"Man, fuck you, son!"
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"because he just walked off your school clothes money."
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"It's funny, isn't it?"
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"Well, I guess that gives you guys a pretty good idea"
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"about how I've changed over the years."
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"But before I go,"
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"I just wanna give each me a chance to tell you"
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"their overall philosophy in life."
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"18-year old Dave, you're on."
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"When you lose..."
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"don't lose the lesson."
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"His holiness, the Dali Lama."
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"That was touching."
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