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Clips from How I Met Your Mother - Mystery vs. History (S07E07)

"That's ridiculous!"
How I Met Your Mother
"Marshall, will you..."
How I Met Your Mother
"will you hold these for a second?"
How I Met Your Mother
"Yeah, sure. Why?"
How I Met Your Mother
"Because I gots to know!"
How I Met Your Mother
"Oh, Barney, no! Help! Get him off of me!"
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"Everybody hold it! Hold it!"
How I Met Your Mother
"I found Janet McIntyre, who's been widowed three times."
How I Met Your Mother
"She's obviously killing her husbands!"
How I Met Your Mother
"Oh, my God!"
How I Met Your Mother
"Ted's probably already told her that he loves her!"
How I Met Your Mother
"We've got to get down there!"
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"Nobody's going anywhere!"
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"Why?!"
How I Met Your Mother
"Kevin thought back to his earlier rule..."
How I Met Your Mother
"This real therapist won't risk"
How I Met Your Mother
"upsetting his wonderful new girlfriend"
How I Met Your Mother
"by analyzing her wonderful friends."
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"...and threw it out the window."
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"You're all the most codependent, incestuous,"
How I Met Your Mother
"controlling group of people I've ever met!"
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"By the way, you all look great, especially Robin."
How I Met Your Mother
"Oh, mm-mm."
How I Met Your Mother
"This is so great."
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"Right? See, if we'd researched each other,"
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"we'd both be secretly steering the conversation"
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"one way or the other."
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"Way more exciting."
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"I mean, we can talk about anything we want."
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"Anything."
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"...how was the traffic getting here?"
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"You picked me up at my apartment."
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"I certainly did."
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"I've lost the ability to talk to girls without the Internet."
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"My brain is completely shutting down."
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"So, are you folks gonna have dinner or just drinks?"
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"I-I don't know."
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"What the hell was that, Kevin?"
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"We're all crazy just because"
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"I'm looking up some stuff on the Internet,"
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"and Barney wants to know the baby's gender?"
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"I noticed some other disturbing..."
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"Never mind."
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"It's nothing. I'm sorry."
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"I gots to know!"
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"Okay, last night alone..."
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"When-When are you coming back?"
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"Because I miss you, silly!"
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"Wait, who's he talking to?"
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"Shh, I'll be back soon."
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"Yeah, you want me to bring you a pretzel?"
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"Ted's texting me from the bathroom."
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"Oh."
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"I don't get it."
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"- It's just a "C" with an apostrophe. - Oh."
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"Oh, yeah."
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"Sometimes when one of us is on the can,"
How I Met Your Mother
"we'll, uh, sneak a peek and then text each other,"
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"you know."
How I Met Your Mother
"Symbols to describe what your bowel movement looks like?"
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"This morning, I took an ampersand."
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"Last summer, I dropped a deuce"
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"that actually looked like the number two!"
How I Met Your Mother
"When you worked late Wednesday,"
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"I... I got lonely and..."
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"I watched Survivor without you."
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"Practically the only unhealthy behavior I didn't see"
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"from you people was physical violence."
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"Yeah."
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"At least we don't do that."
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"all the meddling in Ted's love life,"
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"not to mention Lily's pregnancy?"
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"It all strikes me as just deeply dysfunctional."
How I Met Your Mother
"So what you're saying is, we're fine?"
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"So, while this font is often"
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"mistaken for Helvetica,"
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"the fact is..."
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"it's Helvetica Bold."
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"I can actually hear the sound"
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"of her vagina being boarded up."
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"I got to be honest, Janet."
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"First of all... this is Times New Roman."
How I Met Your Mother
"coming up with things to talk about."
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"You? I'm sitting here thinking,"
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"That's gold.""
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"Guys, I'm so sorry I said anything."
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"Um, you basically called my friends mentally ill."
How I Met Your Mother
"Yeah, you think some lame apology will fix that?"
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"What if I just paint the rest of the room by myself?"
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"Apology accepted."
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"Let-Let's find out each other's likes and dislikes."
How I Met Your Mother
"Start with something totally random."
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"Like, um, oh, I don't know."
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"Are you a fan of-- I don't know--"
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"I'm guessing that's not random at all, and you use that movie"
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"No, it's-it's the first movie that popped into..."
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"I love Annie Hall. Oh, thank God you're cool."
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"to go well with Janet McIntyre..."
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"Whoa. I just found Janet McIntyre."
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"The Janet McIntyre."
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"Sweet... mother... of God!"
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"Uh, well, I got to run to the restroom."
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"No internet, Mister."
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"If you find out my deep, dark secret, I'll have to kill you."
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"It's just my friends checking up on me."
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"I'll politely let them know we're having a lovely time."
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"Ted says, "I'm not clicking on the link, so leave me alone.""
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"And then either texted me a bunch of symbols for profanity,"
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"or got food poisoning"
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"and dropped the weirdest deuce of all time."
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"You guys have to see this."
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"No. We're with Ted on this."
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"We don't want to find out about Janet,"
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"just like we don't want to find out about the baby."
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"Because we like mystery,"
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"whether it's the hairy majesty of Bigfoot,"
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"or the bloodsucking ferocity of the Chupacabra,"
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"or the gender of our little miracle."
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"Thanks for putting those together"
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"in the same sentence, sweetie."
How I Met Your Mother
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