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Clips from NewsRadio - Mistake (S03E03)

But good luck.

"But good luck."

NewsRadio

BETH: Right.

"BETH: Right."

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Dave?

"Dave?"

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Yes, um...

"Yes, um..."

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Well, that's all well and good, Dave,

"Well, that's all well and good, Dave,"

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Now, b-but, I would like you to read these.

"Now, b-but, I would like you to read these."

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These are formal letters of apology.

"These are formal letters of apology."

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No.

"No."

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"with the hyperinflated egos

""with the hyperinflated egos"

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Sorry.

"Sorry."

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but didn't you--? Whoa, whoa, whoa.

"but didn't you--? Whoa, whoa, whoa."

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Because that part was about you.

"Because that part was about you."

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Be that as it may, good sir,

"Be that as it may, good sir,"

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I will not have you calling this wonderful woman "immature."

"I will not have you calling this wonderful woman "immature.""

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I thought that was about you.

"I thought that was about you."

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[GROANS]

"[GROANS]"

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to do a good job, that's fine. That's fine.

"to do a good job, that's fine. That's fine."

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But you know what? Tell me to my face.

"But you know what? Tell me to my face."

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He tells it to your face every day.

"He tells it to your face every day."

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I know. What's up with that, anyway?

"I know. What's up with that, anyway?"

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Why? What's he done?

"Why? What's he done?"

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Well, I don't know how to say this, but he...

"Well, I don't know how to say this, but he..."

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I'm afraid so.

"I'm afraid so."

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Well, dude, if anybody's qualified

"Well, dude, if anybody's qualified"

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Or a "weird-ar," so to speak.

"Or a "weird-ar," so to speak."

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Hey, there, Brent-o, how we doin'?

"Hey, there, Brent-o, how we doin'?"

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We were, uh, just talkin' about you.

"We were, uh, just talkin' about you."

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Only-- Only-- Only-- Only good things.

"Only-- Only-- Only-- Only good things."

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Cool. Um, what do you want me to do with these?

"Cool. Um, what do you want me to do with these?"

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Well, where did you find them?

"Well, where did you find them?"

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In my pocket. I brought them from home.

"In my pocket. I brought them from home."

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in your pocket, then.

"in your pocket, then."

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Okay, I'm on it. Cool.

"Okay, I'm on it. Cool."

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BETH: Okay.

"BETH: Okay."

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Whatever, man.

"Whatever, man."

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Sir, I-I would like you to read this.

"Sir, I-I would like you to read this."

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It's-- It's a formal letter of apology.

"It's-- It's a formal letter of apology."

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Oh, all right, all right.

"Oh, all right, all right."

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obviously very long and-- And heartfelt, but--

"obviously very long and-- And heartfelt, but--"

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Well, it's just really long.

"Well, it's just really long."

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Well, what for--? For what?

"Well, what for--? For what?"

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Uh, for saying that our advertisers

"Uh, for saying that our advertisers"

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Any publicity is good publicity. What else?

"Any publicity is good publicity. What else?"

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Were horrible, but that 95 percent of New Yorkers

"Were horrible, but that 95 percent of New Yorkers"

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Oh. Well, you know, that-- That-- That's no biggy.

"Oh. Well, you know, that-- That-- That's no biggy."

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I mean, if-- If I was a moron,

"I mean, if-- If I was a moron,"

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Hey, Mr. James. Hey, Lisa.

"Hey, Mr. James. Hey, Lisa."

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But, uh, we-- We can talk about it later, right?

"But, uh, we-- We can talk about it later, right?"

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You know my-- My heart--

"You know my-- My heart--"

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I-I need my, uh...

"I-I need my, uh..."

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How'd that go?

"How'd that go?"

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Oh, that went fine.

"Oh, that went fine."

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I never got around to telling him what I said about him.

"I never got around to telling him what I said about him."

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Well, I said something like, um...

"Well, I said something like, um..."

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"And then there's our station owner,

""And then there's our station owner,"

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as his own personal dating service."

"as his own personal dating service.""

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Well, that wasn't a good idea.

"Well, that wasn't a good idea."

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So you still haven't read it?

"So you still haven't read it?"

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I'm not getting any younger...

"I'm not getting any younger..."

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be passed on to the next generation.

"be passed on to the next generation."

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Good for you, Bill.

"Good for you, Bill."

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Listen to me. I'm serious.

"Listen to me. I'm serious."

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a child in this world that's half me.

"a child in this world that's half me."

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Well, I know you wanna have a baby,

"Well, I know you wanna have a baby,"

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and I know you don't wanna get married,

"and I know you don't wanna get married,"

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I thought I'd just let you know that I'm available, no charge.

"I thought I'd just let you know that I'm available, no charge."

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Well, it's all right in the article.

"Well, it's all right in the article."

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if you want a kid,

"if you want a kid,"

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I'd like to toss my hat in the ring.

"I'd like to toss my hat in the ring."

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of renting a suite at the Four Seasons.

"of renting a suite at the Four Seasons."

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I gather that's how this sort of thing is done.

"I gather that's how this sort of thing is done."

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"If you have a girlfriend who wants to have a baby,

""If you have a girlfriend who wants to have a baby,"

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Hey, um, if you and that Bill guy

"Hey, um, if you and that Bill guy"

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um, just try doin' it

"um, just try doin' it"

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upside-down and backwards.

"upside-down and backwards."

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MATTHEW: Now you see, don't ya?

"MATTHEW: Now you see, don't ya?"

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He's just-- He's-- He's weird.

"He's just-- He's-- He's weird."

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the babies come out sideways.

"the babies come out sideways."

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[BOTH CHUCKLE]

"[BOTH CHUCKLE]"

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Before you say anything, here, please read this, please.

"Before you say anything, here, please read this, please."

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You always do,

"You always do,"

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and there's no comma

"and there's no comma"

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Here you go. Thermometer.

"Here you go. Thermometer."

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Bill...

"Bill..."

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I do not need a thermometer

"I do not need a thermometer"

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to know when I'm ovulating.

"to know when I'm ovulating."

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Of course not.

"Of course not."

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But you'll note that I'm a very toasty 97.3,

"But you'll note that I'm a very toasty 97.3,"

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indicating robust good health, in case that's a factor.

"indicating robust good health, in case that's a factor."

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He's cool with this, right?

"He's cool with this, right?"

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I mean, it's not during office hours or anything.

"I mean, it's not during office hours or anything."

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Bill, please.

"Bill, please."

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Oh, come on, Dave. I'm not angry.

"Oh, come on, Dave. I'm not angry."

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Really? Then what are you?

"Really? Then what are you?"

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Well, I'm hurt.

"Well, I'm hurt."

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Deep down inside, where I'm soft like a woman.

"Deep down inside, where I'm soft like a woman."

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Where you are soft like a woman.

"Where you are soft like a woman."

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Don't mock me, Dave.

"Don't mock me, Dave."

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What about me?

"What about me?"

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Look, all-- All I was trying to say is--

"Look, all-- All I was trying to say is--"

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Oh, please. Come on.

"Oh, please. Come on."

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Who took tap-dancing lessons for five years.

"Who took tap-dancing lessons for five years."

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You took tap-dancing lessons?

"You took tap-dancing lessons?"

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You didn't read the whole article.

"You didn't read the whole article."

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Wh-why would you tell the reporter

"Wh-why would you tell the reporter"

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Well, you know what? So what? Big whoop.

"Well, you know what? So what? Big whoop."

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A lot of people take tap-dancing lessons

"A lot of people take tap-dancing lessons"

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when they're a little kid.

"when they're a little kid."

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I was in college at the time.

"I was in college at the time."

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Yeah, it's all-- It's all explained in--

"Yeah, it's all-- It's all explained in--"

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But that's really neither here nor there.

"But that's really neither here nor there."

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Okay, well, did you have to do this

"Okay, well, did you have to do this"

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for college credit or something?

"for college credit or something?"

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of being a world-class hoofer."

"of being a world-class hoofer.""

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Right? A lot of cute girls in dance class,

"Right? A lot of cute girls in dance class,"

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Most of the time, yes.

"Most of the time, yes."

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No.

"No."

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on the back burner for now.

"on the back burner for now."

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And I think I could take some time to figure in

"And I think I could take some time to figure in"

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this whole tap-dancing component into the equation.

"this whole tap-dancing component into the equation."

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