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Clips from The Mick - The Baggage (S01E01)

"Big Steve. We tortured his ass so bad"
The Mick
"that he nearly lost his mind."
The Mick
"I mean, we took the air out of his tires,"
The Mick
"we even donated his clothes to charity."
The Mick
"Don't give them any ideas, they're horrible."
The Mick
"It works."
The Mick
"Hey, wow. What about this idea?"
The Mick
"- What? - What?"
The Mick
"What? Jimmy."
The Mick
"What?"
The Mick
"Come on."
The Mick
"I wanted to see a perfect family."
The Mick
"Mr. Perfect?"
The Mick
"I'm Mr. Not Good Enough."
The Mick
"Jimmy, go sleep it off somewhere,"
The Mick
"- Yeah, go home, dude. - No, I'm not going anywhere, Chip."
The Mick
"Sabrina, I'm right here."
The Mick
"- Jimmy... - I suppose you want me to go too, Ben?"
The Mick
"- That one hurts. - Okay."
The Mick
"No, no, no, no, no, I got it. It hurts."
The Mick
"- Jimmy. - Yeah."
The Mick
"Come here, let me talk to you for a second."
The Mick
"- Come here, come on. - Oh."
The Mick
"Come on, come on."
The Mick
"Okay, look, I get it, I get it, okay?"
The Mick
"But you can't do it like this."
The Mick
"You love her?"
The Mick
"I freakin' love her so much."
The Mick
"You love her so much."
The Mick
"And you're a good guy, right?"
The Mick
"I'm a really good guy."
The Mick
"Yeah."
The Mick
"So, look, respect her decision."
The Mick
"Go home, sleep it off."
The Mick
"All right? Come on. Let's go."
The Mick
"Yeah."
The Mick
"I'm gonna sleep it off."
The Mick
"So, where's Carrot?"
The Mick
"- Carrot's not coming. - Um..."
The Mick
"Uh..."
The Mick
"Why don't you have a seat?"
The Mick
"We got to talk."
The Mick
"Like a cell phone?"
The Mick
"Oh, no, no, Benito."
The Mick
"The bunny that you knew as Carrot is no more."
The Mick
"He-he is up in the big sky with Jesus now."
The Mick
"See, in the Catholic religion,"
The Mick
"we believe that when you die,"
The Mick
"your soul separates from your body"
The Mick
"then you are judged by the Lord."
The Mick
"And it is up to him to decide if you live your eternal life"
The Mick
"in Heaven or cast down into the fiery pits of Hell"
The Mick
"with the devils."
The Mick
"So Carrot's in Hell?"
The Mick
"- No, No. - No."
The Mick
"- No, - ALBA: No."
The Mick
"- and he's in heaven. - Sí."
The Mick
"But he wasn't a good bunny."
The Mick
"He couldn't do any tricks"
The Mick
"and he always pooped on the floor."
The Mick
"Well..."
The Mick
"only until he's reincarnated."
The Mick
"When he comes back as another living thing."
The Mick
"So Carrot can come back as a monkey?"
The Mick
"Okay, now you see why I do the things I do."
The Mick
"Yep, I get it."
The Mick
"Oh, guys, thank you so much for having me again."
The Mick
"Yeah, they're all right."
The Mick
"That's funny, I thought we were your baggage."
The Mick
"Oh, you are so stupid."
The Mick
"- She's so stupid. - That's crazy."
The Mick
"You want to see real baggage?"
The Mick
"I carry mine with me every day."
The Mick
"See this?"
The Mick
"September 26th, 1983."
The Mick
"Bob Forsch, he pitched a no-hitter against the Expos."
The Mick
"Oof."
The Mick
"Yeah."
The Mick
"He went to get a hot dog during the 7th inning stretch"
The Mick
"and he just... never came back."
The Mick
"- Oh, no. - He walked out on a no-hitter?"
The Mick
"- That's awful. - Yeah."
The Mick
"Yeah."
The Mick
"Well, I don't want to be insensitive,"
The Mick
"but, uh, compared to these guys,"
The Mick
"- So I guess I'm being a bitch. - You're being a little bit of a bitch."
The Mick
"- Okay. All right. - Cheers, bitch."
The Mick
"All right, who wants some pie?"
The Mick
"- Okay. - I do!"
The Mick
"Chip, go get us some pie, man."
The Mick
"No way. Make Alba do it."
The Mick
"What are you talking about?"
The Mick
"Alba, she busted her hump in the kitchen all day."
The Mick
"Yeah, right."
The Mick
"Buddy, I ain't asking."
The Mick
"This is my house, you son of a bitch!"
The Mick
"I make the rules!"
The Mick
"I don't get you pie,"
The Mick
"you get me pie!"
The Mick
"Don't touch me!"
The Mick
"- Chip? - Hmm?"
The Mick
"What's up?"
The Mick
"Go get the pie, dude."
The Mick
"Pie."
The Mick
"Yeah."
The Mick
"Make mine à la mode."
The Mick
"Dante must be destroyed."
The Mick
"Yeah, that's all well and good,"
The Mick
"but what the hell is this jerk doing here?"
The Mick
"She's not coming."
The Mick
"I texted you from her phone."
The Mick
"Piece of advice, kid,"
The Mick
"don't tell a guy there's a sure thing"
The Mick
"when there isn't."
The Mick
"Certain medications"
The Mick
"have been set into motion"
The Mick
"that cannot be unset."
The Mick
"What do you got, blues?"
The Mick
"Yeah, what do you know about it?"
The Mick
"Well, they're expensive."
The Mick
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