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Clips from BoJack Horseman - BoJack Horseman: The BoJack Horseman Story, Chapter One (S01E01)

"That's unfortunate."
BoJack Horseman
"and a lack of money in it."
BoJack Horseman
"Now, as you know, Penguin is very eager"
BoJack Horseman
"but you keep missing your deadlines."
BoJack Horseman
"written by BoJack Horseman."
BoJack Horseman
"Things are not that great for me, money wise."
BoJack Horseman
"Yeah, a publishing house."
BoJack Horseman
"When was the last time you saw a book?"
BoJack Horseman
"I thought I saw someone"
BoJack Horseman
"but it turned out it was a takeout menu."
BoJack Horseman
"[clears throat]"
BoJack Horseman
"[sighs]"
BoJack Horseman
"We're living month to month here."
BoJack Horseman
"Have you considered working with a ghostwriter?"
BoJack Horseman
"Ugh, no, thank you."
BoJack Horseman
"Look, just give me one more week,"
BoJack Horseman
"and I will give you some pages"
BoJack Horseman
"that'll knock your ass back to the South Pole."
BoJack Horseman
"It... that doesn't matter."
BoJack Horseman
"Yes, one week."
BoJack Horseman
"I'm telling you,"
BoJack Horseman
"this book is a top priority for me."
BoJack Horseman
"Oh, right. Yeesh."
BoJack Horseman
"What, you don't think it's cute?"
BoJack Horseman
"Neigh way, Jose."
BoJack Horseman
"[laughs]"
BoJack Horseman
"Neigh way, Jose."
BoJack Horseman
"- I get it. - Ah, you don't get it."
BoJack Horseman
"♪ Three little orphans One, two, three ♪"
BoJack Horseman
"Are you drunk?"
BoJack Horseman
"Todd, I weigh over 1,200 pounds."
BoJack Horseman
"Ah, yeah, I see."
BoJack Horseman
"Ha-cha-cha."
BoJack Horseman
"You know, I am not crazy about the bread here."
BoJack Horseman
"Mm."
BoJack Horseman
"Why do I keep eating it?"
BoJack Horseman
"You have my undivided attention."
BoJack Horseman
"Were we not seeing other people?"
BoJack Horseman
"Now, that's a horse of a different..."
BoJack Horseman
"Oh!"
BoJack Horseman
"- BoJack! - What?"
BoJack Horseman
"Everyone gets a mulligan,"
BoJack Horseman
"Because you know that I'm writing that book"
BoJack Horseman
"Well, I already spent my advance,"
BoJack Horseman
"so that's a first step."
BoJack Horseman
"to have a baby with me."
BoJack Horseman
"Oh, look at that baby."
BoJack Horseman
"Isn't he the cutest baby you ever saw?"
BoJack Horseman
"[engine revving]"
BoJack Horseman
"[cop] Hey, aren't you the horse from Horsin' Around?"
BoJack Horseman
"I commit to things all the time."
BoJack Horseman
"Hey, stupid, isn't that your friend over there?"
BoJack Horseman
"Oh, Mr. Peanutbutter?"
BoJack Horseman
"Is that BoJack Horseman?"
BoJack Horseman
"Oh, jeez, here we go."
BoJack Horseman
"Mr. Peanutbutter"
BoJack Horseman
"What is this, a crossover episode?"
BoJack Horseman
"but I think it does actually get funnier every time."
BoJack Horseman
"- so if you could just... - Yeah?"
BoJack Horseman
"- You're in the middle of it? - Yeah, that's right."
BoJack Horseman
"Yes, actually, it's very awkward."
BoJack Horseman
"Is that not clear?"
BoJack Horseman
"How are you, Mr. Peanutbutter?"
BoJack Horseman
"Why are you making conversation?"
BoJack Horseman
"It's called being polite, BoJack."
BoJack Horseman
"Always a Clydesdale, never a Clyde, eh, BoJack?"
BoJack Horseman
"Would it kill you to be civil?"
BoJack Horseman
"This is why we're breaking up."
BoJack Horseman
"- Thank you. - We haven't even ordered yet."
BoJack Horseman
"I don't know how you can expect anyone else to love you"
BoJack Horseman
"when you so clearly hate yourself."
BoJack Horseman
"- Here you go. - Let me see that."
BoJack Horseman
"Can you take me home, please?"
BoJack Horseman
"Yeah, but I didn't even eat that much bread."
BoJack Horseman
"You ate nine baskets, sir."
BoJack Horseman
"Nine... really?"
BoJack Horseman
"You want to know the real reason we're breaking up?"
BoJack Horseman
"What was that? Sorry."
BoJack Horseman
"Couldn't hear you over the sound of my calories not metabolizing."
BoJack Horseman
"You're using this bread thing"
BoJack Horseman
"to avoid talking about our relationship."
BoJack Horseman
"You think I'm fat."
BoJack Horseman
"Dumb guy eats bread, gets fat, the end."
BoJack Horseman
"You're not fat."
BoJack Horseman
"No, it won't. It'll cheer you up."
BoJack Horseman
"eating cotton candy until I barf"
BoJack Horseman
"like I did at your last party."
BoJack Horseman
"Hey, didn't we get a cotton candy machine for that party?"
BoJack Horseman
"Who told you Princess Carolyn and I broke up?"
BoJack Horseman
"I'll slow the car down to a crawl,"
BoJack Horseman
"You know what, you can take a last look at this face,"
BoJack Horseman
"because it's the last time you're gonna see it."
BoJack Horseman
"Hey-up!"
BoJack Horseman
"Hello?"
BoJack Horseman
"I've got Princess Carolyn for you."
BoJack Horseman
"I pride myself on my ability"
BoJack Horseman
"to separate my professional life from my personal life."
BoJack Horseman
"Great."
BoJack Horseman
"You are in the prime of your life, never looked better."
BoJack Horseman
"What about as my ex-girlfriend?"
BoJack Horseman
"You look like a pile of crap ate a second pile of crap"
BoJack Horseman
"Wait, wait, so which pile of crap do I look like?"
BoJack Horseman
"- The third one. - What? That's the worst one."
BoJack Horseman
"I'm calling you as your agent."
BoJack Horseman
"Does Tuesday work for you,"
BoJack Horseman
"or are you gonna be too busy this week"
BoJack Horseman
"masturbating to old pictures of yourself?"
BoJack Horseman
"I told you, that's not what was happening that time."
BoJack Horseman
"I was masturbating to what the picture represented."
BoJack Horseman
"You walked in at the worst possible moment!"
BoJack Horseman
"[laid-back rock music]"
BoJack Horseman
"Hey, you got the electricity back."
BoJack Horseman
"Good for you."
BoJack Horseman
"This company is in dire straits."
BoJack Horseman
"[screams] [alarm blares]"
BoJack Horseman
"We made a series of very bad investments."
BoJack Horseman
"Uh, no."
BoJack Horseman
"It's okay, Pinky, go to your happy place."
BoJack Horseman
"Uh..."
BoJack Horseman
"and you have to be brave."
BoJack Horseman
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