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Clips from The Simpsons - Bart the General (S01E01)

"Oh, man! Keep your greasy mitts outta there."
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"Dad, I get good grades 'cause I'm smart and I pay attention and I study hard."
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"Heh-heh-heh. Doh!"
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"- Better let me hold these, Lis. - Forget it."
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"Back-scratcher. Foot-licker. Honor student!"
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"Open your mouth and close your eyes, and you will get a big surprise."
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"Nah, happens all the time. Somebody else's blood splatters on me."
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"It was an accident, man. A terrible, ghastly mistake. Ask anybody."
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"- Uh-oh, there's your bell."
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"- Now hurry up. It's time for class. - But--"
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"Yikes! Uh-uh-uh!"
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"Ha, ha, ha!"
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"Aah!"
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"I ain't gonna get out of the fourth grade alive."
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"Here comes my brother, Bart the bully-killer!"
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"reconstructing his little face after the fight."
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"Good-bye, son. I guess you were right."
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"Who wants a day off from work when I'm never gonna see my beloved son again?"
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"so I'll just place it lovingly on your forehead."
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"Hey, look. They got food at this thing."
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"- Aah! - Put 'em up."
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"Right, guys?"
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"Uh, not really."
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"Oh, man, that guy's tough to love."
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"- Tough day at school, boy? - Bart, what happened to you?"
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"The rules that teach a boy to be a man. Let's see."
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"- What do you mean, Mom? - Yeah, right."
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"- Yeah, he's pretty chunkified, all right. - Mm-hmm."
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"No, no! Not like that! Like this!"
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"You didn't expect that, did you? And neither will he."
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"So the next time this bully thinks you're gonna throw a punch,"
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"And then you sock him when he's staggerin' around blinded!"
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"with hitting someone when his back is turned."
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"get him right in the family jewels."
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"Ha! Ooh!"
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"Hmm?"
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"when entertainment was bland and inoffensive."
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"Number two: horny."
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"I need some advice, Grandpa."
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"If you don't stand up for yourself,"
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"- I said, give me that puzzle. - No."
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"- Let me in, you idiot! - Yeah, right you are."
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"Did you lose your arm in the war?"
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"Bart's got a problem with a local young bully named Nelson."
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"Uh, ah! That way, everything you do will be nice and legal."
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"Okay, I can use this one from the Franco-Prussian War."
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"Psst!"
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"So, Mister, what are we doin' here anyway?"
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"I wonder where Bart is."
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"I can't promise you victory. I can't promise you good times."
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"All right! Okay! I promise you victory! I promise you good times!"
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"Would've got an "A" but I was sick"
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"Aah!"
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"We are rubber you are glue"
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"- What's the matter with you, soldier? - It's my nerves, sir."
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"- I can't hear you! - Three, four"
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"All right, there's your enemy. Now hit him!"
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"Die! Die!"
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"We are happy We are merry"
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"We got a rhyming dictionary"
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"- We got the water balloons? - Two hundred rounds, sir."
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"Hey, good Squishies."
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"You're gonna be suckin' all your meals through straws if you don't shut your traps."
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"Well, looky here."
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"Am I making myself--"
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"Ha! You're gonna have to sometime."
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"" Nelson recognizes Bart's right to exist." Article six."
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"Well, good night, everybody. Peace, man."
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"Do I smell cupcakes?"
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"- Ooh! Do I ever! -Uh-uh, Homer."
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"- Yum! Don't mind if l do. - Bart!"
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"- These are for Lisa's class. - It's Mrs. Hoover's birthday."
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"- you know, there are names for people like you. - No, there aren't."
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"- Teacher's pet, apple polisher, butt kisser-- - Bart!"
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"Well, you see, boy, it never hurts to grease the wheels a little."
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"Sure, Lis. You see how it works, Bart?"
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"A cupcake here, a good grade there."
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"Work, brains and hmm--"
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"Oh, brother."
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"- Yo, Ottoman! - Yo, Bart dude!"
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"Hey, can you believe it, man?"
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"My sister here made a whole pile up cupcakes to butter up her teacher,"
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"- Oh, thanks, little lady. - You're welcome."
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"Whoa!"
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"You'll never get one now, Mr. Name-caller."
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"All right, all right. Look, I'm sorry. I-I got upset."
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"- you weren't thinking, were you? -No."
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"-I'm not a sniveling toad, am I? -Not really."
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"I'm not a little egg sucker, am I?"
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"Well, I'd have to say..."
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"your generous nature, your spirit of giving."
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"Well--"
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"Ahh!"
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"- Look, Janey. Cupcakes. - Ah, give me that!"
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"- Hey, what's the big idea? That's my sister, man. - So what?"
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"Nelson, you're bleeding."
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"Hey, wait a minute."
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"Uh-oh. A cold wind."
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"Hello, kids. Everything above the board here?"
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"Good. Play friendly, children."
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"- I'll get you after school, man. - But--"
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"Scoot, young Simpson. There's learning afoot."
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"Okay, Nelson, put up your dukes!"
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"- Uh-oh. Stop! - Mmm!"
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"Lunchtime! Ha, ha, ha!"
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"- Lunchtime! - Aah!"
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"You've gotta tell Principal Skinner, Bart."
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"I can't squeal."
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"It would violate the code of the schoolyard."
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"- Yeah! - You're our hero, Bart!"
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"I'm just saying that I fear for my safety."
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"This is how it happened, man."
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"Listen up. You may get a kick out of it."
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"I'll see you at the flagpole at 3:15."
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"And you better be prompt."
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"He has four other beatings scheduled this afternoon."
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"- Yeah, and I got the day off from work. - Homer!"
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"Oh, Bart! Oh, Bart!"
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"Be brave. Bye-bye, Bart."
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"You were always my special little guy."
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