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Clips from Community - Contemporary American Poultry (S01E01)

"T-bone was the bag man."
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"He'd move the fingers to a storeroom"
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"Where two of the girls did the packaging."
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"We could trust them not to eat the supply"
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"Because britta was a vegetarian"
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"And Shirley figured that if she stole,"
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"She'd go to hell."
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"They'd hand the stuff out the window to Annie."
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"She was the leg man and distributor."
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"The crazy thing was it was their food"
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"And we were stealing it and giving it back to them"
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"Like it was a big favor."
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"I had it all worked out on a schedule."
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"You know, I've never been fired from a job"
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"And this is, like, my perfect job."
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"I'm Mr. Chicken fingers."
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"The minute before you thought about busting us,"
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"That was the minute you had a chicken in your hand."
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"Everyone had their hand out."
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"Everyone wanted what we had. Oh! Oh, well."
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"So we had anything we wanted."
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"And Jeff had the most important job of all."
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"He was at the top."
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"He was the boss."
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"He was our leader."
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"A-v kids hooked it up."
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"Abed supplied the whole department"
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"With chicken fingers."
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"You think that's good,"
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"Check out my posse and Troy's monkey."
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"Troy, why do you have a monkey?"
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"Uh, it's an animal that looks like a dude."
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"Why don't I have ten of them?"
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"Guys, look what Abed scored for me."
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"It has a million zippers"
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"And it was free."
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"I am a robot."
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"I am programmed to love this backpack."
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"This is insane."
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"More insane than programming them"
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"To replace auto workers?"
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"What?"
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"Okay, okay, if you're not in this study group, please."
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"Britta's hairdresser... What?"
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"Pierce's hackneyed entourage."
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"Hackneyed?"
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"You see the turban guy?"
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"Yes, in a '90s ski movie"
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"Oh, we're not gonna get caught."
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"We have campus security on the take."
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"Abed's got it all figured out."
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"- Mm-hmm. - Well, that's a relief."
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"Yeah, it's pretty cool being friends"
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"With the biggest man on campus."
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"Isn't that right, Annie's boobs?"
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"Please rename that thing!"
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"And this time, not with a contest on Twitter."
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"It's his Twitter account."
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"He can do what he wants."
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"They are my body parts!"
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"I do not consent to this!"
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"You know what I don't appreciate?"
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"You wouldn't threaten a monkey."
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"They have more lactic acid than us."
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"Shared my chicken with him."
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"Streets ahead!"
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"Line starts behind you."
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"Oh, he's cool."
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"Six fingers every Wednesday."
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"Cool. And what can you offer?"
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"I have a bicycle and I teach beginner's tennis."
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"All right."
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"We'll be in touch, janel."
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"It's quite a setup you got here."
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"I'm pretty excited about it."
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"It turns out everyone has needs"
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"And everyone has functions."
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"Look, um, I've been thinking"
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"Maybe I need to hit the big red button"
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"I mean, it's been fun, but it's out of control now."
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"The entire campus is controlled by our group,"
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"Our group is controlled by chicken,"
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"And the chicken is controlled by me."
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"Abed, the mafia movie is over."
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"I'm not doing a mafia movie."
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"In fact, I don't need to use movies"
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"Or tv shows to talk to people anymore."
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"Before, I only needed them because the day-to-day world"
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"Made no sense to me, but now,"
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"Everyone's speaking the same language."
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"Chicken."
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"I understand people and they finally understand me."
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"Abed, eventually people are gonna get tired of chicken."
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"I'm tired of chicken."
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"You're not tired of chicken."
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"You miss the taste of control."
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"Is it?"
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"Unfortunately, the very thing that drove you"
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"From properly running this machine"
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"Or even being a cog in it."
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"Your ego."
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"Well..."
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"I see. I see."
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"This has been about me the whole time."
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"You better bring a powerful ass."
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"My facebook photo is a landscape."
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"You're the best, Eduardo."
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"Thank you all for coming."
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"Can we make this quick?"
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"I need to give a banana to Annie's boobs."
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"Abed is drunk with chicken power."
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"He's gone from lovable Johnny five to evil hal."
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"- Hal holb-- - not hal holbrook."
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"What are you saying?"
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"You all have to stop working for him."
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"Let this operation dry up"
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"And let his wheels spin down."
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"At which point you would be in charge again, right?"
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"- What? - This is so sad."
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"You're jealous of Abed because he's providing for us."
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