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Clips from Community - Contemporary American Poultry (S01E01)

"He has diabetes."
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"He can't even make it to the litter box--"
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"- Chicken run! - Whoo!"
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"I'm afraid that I'm gonna have to put her to sleep."
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"Ah, go on."
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"God bless you."
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"Watch out!"
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"Oh, I can hear those fingers calling my name."
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""Troy! Troy!""
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""did you get my text message?""
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"Um, I think it's--"
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"I got to stop hanging out with her."
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"She sounds like a chicken finger."
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"Again?"
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"Outrageous."
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"How can you just stand there like a mute idiot?"
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"- Ooh. - Well..."
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"Throat surgery might humanize you,"
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"But it doesn't make this acceptable."
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"So cute."
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"And I don't even normally like dreadlocks."
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"Hello."
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"Which is weird, because you're doing the actual hunting"
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"And you seem invisible to him."
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"- Abed, you know what I do? - Hmm?"
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"Before I talk, I ask myself,"
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""what am I about to say"
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"And how might it affect each person listening?""
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"I'm really glad you said that, britta."
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"Makes your lack of flavor kind of a flavor."
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"Sorry, guys. They ran out again."
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"What the hell, man?"
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"That's half our problem right there."
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"No way."
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"They'll act like he isn't star-burns"
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"But I am not gonna eat that injustice."
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"Let's complain."
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"If we complain, he gets a warning"
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"And learns to be sneakier."
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"I say we knock him out of the kitchen"
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"And replace him with one of our own"
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"All in one move."
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"As far back as I can remember,"
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"I always wanted to be in a mafia movie."
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"Cool."
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"And you get the most important job."
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"You're gonna be fry cook."
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"We may be watching different mafia movies."
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"You worked in your dad's restaurant, right?"
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"After we get star-burns fired."
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"I don't know about that."
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"I don't know about the firing."
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"I think he really relies on that income."
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"Yeah, man."
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"Every day you flock here like sheep"
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"And wait in line for a broken promise from a dirty system."
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"Was the guy that made things happen."
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"And he always knew when to slap the table."
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"You want to be sheep, keep flocking."
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"You want to be wolves, form a pack."
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"At that moment, we stopped being a family"
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"And started being a family... In italics."
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"- Can I touch both at--oh! - Yeah, do 'em both."
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"He lowered his guard and just like that,"
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"He was gone."
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"I mean, the way Jeff saw it, by not respecting us,"
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"Star-burns had basically brought it on himself."
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"And when his job opened up, we did what we had to do"
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"To keep the list of applicants to a minimum."
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"I had worked in my dad's falafel restaurant,"
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"So I had a pretty impressive resume."
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"It's very impressive."
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"Especially your reference."
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"Just give 'em a call right now."
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"But we weren't taking any chances."
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"Trump tower, this is Donald."
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"I can tell you that."
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"Just to make me look better"
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"And that was that."
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"This was the glorious time."
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"No more lines."
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"To us, lines were for suckers,"
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"We were wolves."
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"And we had the chicken to prove it."
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"- Oh. - Ooh."
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"It feels unfamiliar,"
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"But it tastes like chicken."
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"Mm-hmm."
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"- Hello. - You guys are lucky."
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"They're always running out."
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"Would you like one?"
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"Name's Shirley. Memorize it."
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"Eee!"
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"The universe goes by supply and demand."
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"The more you take and use, the more it sends."
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"Somebody's been taking a little extra."
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"What's in that container?"
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"- Eight fingers. - Abed."
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"Abed's study group."
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"We have an agreement."
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"But, Abed, if you get caught skimming,"
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"You get fired and we all go back to eating like britta."
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"Yeah, we put you in that job."
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"You make the fingers, Abed, not the decisions."
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"I'm sorry."
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"But just remember these things have power."
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"You have any more agreements, all right?"
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"Yeah, I agreed to give Cheng eight fingers per lunch"
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"In exchange for a 10% bump on every Spanish test"
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"For each of us."
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"- Oh! - Okay."
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"Abed makes the fingers and the decisions."
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"Oh, Abed, you're like the best."
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"At greendale, they were always out of chicken fingers,"
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"So whoever could get them had power."
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"Oh."
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"And I was the guy in the apron,"
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"So I came up with a system and pretty soon"
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"Half the chicken at greendale"
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"Everybody in our crew had a job."
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