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Clips from American Dad! (2005) - Comedy (S01E01)

"That sucks. Whywasn't I in any ofthose old familyvideos?"
American Dad! (2005)
"Well, that's 'cause all the footage was taken beforeyou were adopted."
American Dad! (2005)
"What? What areyou talkin' about? I'm not adopted."
American Dad! (2005)
"You lookjust likeyour dad. Good night."
American Dad! (2005)
"And risk getting my prettyface cut?"
American Dad! (2005)
"Remember that amusement park we went to when you were a kid?"
American Dad! (2005)
"- You're taking me to Sugar Mountain? - You betcha, baby girl."
American Dad! (2005)
"That was the last place we went together before I started to hateyou."
American Dad! (2005)
"Ditto."
American Dad! (2005)
"First we'll take the Rainbow Gondola to Smile Hollow."
American Dad! (2005)
"Then we'll eat some pixie doughnuts. Then we'll-What the-"
American Dad! (2005)
"N.G.A. Land? A gun park?"
American Dad! (2005)
"This is basically the same thing..."
American Dad! (2005)
"You come out the exit wound! Whee!"
American Dad! (2005)
"Oh, this place is awful!"
American Dad! (2005)
"Hey, at least they kept the petting zoo."
American Dad! (2005)
"Well, you've got to kill something. We're not stopping on the way home."
American Dad! (2005)
"No, they're not. That's absurd."
American Dad! (2005)
"- It's A. C.L. Lou! - Shh!"
American Dad! (2005)
"What do we do, kids?"
American Dad! (2005)
"Shoot first. Ask questions later."
American Dad! (2005)
"You got me."
American Dad! (2005)
"Yeah!"
American Dad! (2005)
"Everybody!"
American Dad! (2005)
"What's the meaning of all this?"
American Dad! (2005)
"Mr. Simms, Mr. Hobart."
American Dad! (2005)
"Smith, is that your daughter?"
American Dad! (2005)
"Uh, yes, but don't worry."
American Dad! (2005)
"I'll just put a silencer on her. Yeah, clever."
American Dad! (2005)
"That'll come right out."
American Dad! (2005)
"Thereyou go. This is working."
American Dad! (2005)
"and then I was overcome with crushing disappointment."
American Dad! (2005)
"Oh, man, my card. Oh, ho!"
American Dad! (2005)
"- I asked Mom ifl was adopted, and she said no."
American Dad! (2005)
"Well, what'd you think she was gonna say? She's in too deep."
American Dad! (2005)
"I'm not in this one either. How can this be?"
American Dad! (2005)
"You snooze, you lose."
American Dad! (2005)
"- Yeah, right. When pigs fly. - Aha!"
American Dad! (2005)
"- Lab."
American Dad! (2005)
"How we doin', guys? Did it work?"
American Dad! (2005)
"Uh, we gotta call you back."
American Dad! (2005)
"No, I'm gonna call them Mom and Dad."
American Dad! (2005)
"I'm still their son."
American Dad! (2005)
"Oh, Stan, calm down."
American Dad! (2005)
"It's like someone left the other one on our doorstep."
American Dad! (2005)
"Oh, I just love it when crap lines up like that."
American Dad! (2005)
"Mom? Dad?"
American Dad! (2005)
"I- I shot him."
American Dad! (2005)
"Murderer! Just kidding. You saved the family, kiddo. Pizza? Let's order pizza."
American Dad! (2005)
"- How's mylittle executionerholding up?"
American Dad! (2005)
"All my life, I've said guns were bad. I'm such a hypocrite."
American Dad! (2005)
"Honey, he was robbing us..."
American Dad! (2005)
"- and he was gonna force himself on me. - He said that?"
American Dad! (2005)
"Well, no, but I assume."
American Dad! (2005)
"What? You think I'm not attractive enough?"
American Dad! (2005)
"That what? That he'd just skip me and go straight toyou?"
American Dad! (2005)
"Well, aren'twe conceited."
American Dad! (2005)
"Mom, I killed someone."
American Dad! (2005)
"Sweetheart, you had no choice."
American Dad! (2005)
"I guess I owe the N.G.A. that apology."
American Dad! (2005)
"Yeah, I get it, Hayley. I'm "unrapable," not stupid."
American Dad! (2005)
"You tricked us just soyou could get an apology out of Hayley?"
American Dad! (2005)
"Is your gun club that important toyou? And you!"
American Dad! (2005)
"Dad! I thought l killed someone."
American Dad! (2005)
"Aha! You thought you killed someone."
American Dad! (2005)
"- Someone could have been hurt."
American Dad! (2005)
"Oh, hi, I'm Stan Smith. I think it's cool to trick my daughter."
American Dad! (2005)
"Who cares if it scars her for life?"
American Dad! (2005)
"Well, that sounds fancy. Come on, people. Souplantation on Daddy!"
American Dad! (2005)
"Daddy, I madeyou some soup."
American Dad! (2005)
"Let it cool, 'cause it's much, much too hot."
American Dad! (2005)
"I got you! I can't feel a thing."
American Dad! (2005)
"Hayley, why don't you get some sleep?"
American Dad! (2005)
"You haven't left your father's side in three days."
American Dad! (2005)
"What's that sound?"
American Dad! (2005)
"Oh, I'm peeing. Fantastic!"
American Dad! (2005)
"Stan and Francine didn't adoptyou. They kidnapped you."
American Dad! (2005)
"- What? - Yep, they nabbed you when you were three..."
American Dad! (2005)
"- from a boat show."
American Dad! (2005)
"That explains why I've always wanted a boat."
American Dad! (2005)
"Well, there you go, Tom."
American Dad! (2005)
"That's your real name. Tom Madsen."
American Dad! (2005)
"Wow. Tom Madsen."
American Dad! (2005)
"You know, the name Smith never felt right. It's not a seafaring name."
American Dad! (2005)
"No, but Madsen- that's Norwegian. So, Tom..."
American Dad! (2005)
"- how'd you like to meetyour real parents?"
American Dad! (2005)
"Whoo! A little light-headed. Did my streamers catch wind?"
American Dad! (2005)
"Um, yeah. Look, Dad, now that you can't work at the C.I.A...."
American Dad! (2005)
"I sure have. I wanna make a difference. I wanna be an activist."
American Dad! (2005)
"Thanks, honey. Come on over here and giveyour dad a hug."
American Dad! (2005)
"- Right on! - Hey, Son."
American Dad! (2005)
"Somethin'on yourmind, champ?"
American Dad! (2005)
"Steve, what are you doing?"
American Dad! (2005)
"- Mmm!"
American Dad! (2005)
"- Tell 'em, Dad. - I will, Hayley."
American Dad! (2005)
"Gentlemen, my body is lifeless, but my brain still works."
American Dad! (2005)
"What?"
American Dad! (2005)
"Who better than me?"
American Dad! (2005)
"Butyou were paralyzed by a gun!"
American Dad! (2005)
"No, I was paralyzed byyou."
American Dad! (2005)
"We already have a spokesman."
American Dad! (2005)
"Actually, the kids never really did embraceyou, Bobby."
American Dad! (2005)
"Butyou know what the kids did respond to?"
American Dad! (2005)
"- His daughter's music."
American Dad! (2005)
"Dad, I'd do anything foryou, but this goes against everything I stand for."
American Dad! (2005)
"Mmm, "stand.""
American Dad! (2005)
"That's okay. I respect howyou feel."
American Dad! (2005)
"Mmm, "feel.""
American Dad! (2005)
"Okay, I'll do it."
American Dad! (2005)
"Bobby, you're fired. Turn in the costume."
American Dad! (2005)
"Never!"
American Dad! (2005)
"You were kidnapped at a boat show."
American Dad! (2005)
"Right, right."
American Dad! (2005)
"Empty shell ofa girl who's completely sold out hervalues?"
American Dad! (2005)
"No, I'm pretty sure it should end with an "O.""
American Dad! (2005)
"- Blammo. Good, good, good."
American Dad! (2005)
"Look atyou two. Who would have thought guns would bring you so close together?"
American Dad! (2005)
"I know. If onlywe could get some guns to the Middle East."
American Dad! (2005)
"Mr. Madsen? I'm Tom, your son."
American Dad! (2005)
"- Mama? - Thomas! You are alive!"
American Dad! (2005)
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