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Clips from American Dad! (2005) - Comedy (S01E01)

"- Did you save me a cookie? - You bet I did. Last one."
American Dad! (2005)
"you wouldn't even be here, young lady."
American Dad! (2005)
"What the- Hey, that was my cookie!"
American Dad! (2005)
"Hmm. Okay. Eat up."
American Dad! (2005)
"Eat... up."
American Dad! (2005)
"It's not gay. There's guns in the room."
American Dad! (2005)
"We pledge to act with swiftness..."
American Dad! (2005)
"A carwas broken into on Cherry Street this afternoon- my car."
American Dad! (2005)
"- Terry. - No, I work hard for my things!"
American Dad! (2005)
"Sword-gun, mightierthan the pen-gun."
American Dad! (2005)
"Damn it! I'm tired ofyou always being at each other's throats."
American Dad! (2005)
"- Beatnik! - Warmonger!"
American Dad! (2005)
"I'm gonna makeyou cry and dip my cookie in yourtears."
American Dad! (2005)
"No, thanks."
American Dad! (2005)
"Well, can you at least tell me where we're going?"
American Dad! (2005)
"Bumper Cartridges? The Splatterhorn?"
American Dad! (2005)
"It's his flagship eat-what-you-shoot restaurant."
American Dad! (2005)
"Dad, this place is evil. They're trying to push guns on kids."
American Dad! (2005)
"Uh-oh, kids. Who's that in the crowd?"
American Dad! (2005)
"Hey, kids, listen to this."
American Dad! (2005)
"Total déjà vu right now. This is so weird."
American Dad! (2005)
"You were right there, just like this..."
American Dad! (2005)
"But, hey, don't take myword for it."
American Dad! (2005)
"Come on, Hayley. The N.G.A. won't reinstate my membership unless you apologize."
American Dad! (2005)
"So, now thatyou know they're notyour real parents..."
American Dad! (2005)
"As far as I'm concerned, we only have one child!"
American Dad! (2005)
"Just take whatyou want andgo!"
American Dad! (2005)
"You saved the family."
American Dad! (2005)
"Yeah, I did, huh? And with a gun."
American Dad! (2005)
"- You lunatic!"
American Dad! (2005)
"You missed out, pal."
American Dad! (2005)
"I guess they weren't all blanks."
American Dad! (2005)
"Dad! Help him!"
American Dad! (2005)
"you'll be a quadriplegic."
American Dad! (2005)
"- Oh, my God!"
American Dad! (2005)
"Hey, I found your real parents online."
American Dad! (2005)
"Thanks for pimpin' my ride, Hayley."
American Dad! (2005)
"Now let's go and have a little talk with those boys at the N.G.A."
American Dad! (2005)
"Something we've both wanted to do foryears, "Sis.""
American Dad! (2005)
"Oh, my God!"
American Dad! (2005)
"Everything that happens from this point on is just gravy."
American Dad! (2005)
"My dad was paralyzed in a gun accident..."
American Dad! (2005)
"and he has something to say about it."
American Dad! (2005)
"And it's telling me to tell my mouth to tell you..."
American Dad! (2005)
"What?"
American Dad! (2005)
"Look, I'm not gonna point fingers here."
American Dad! (2005)
"Because I can't. Because ofyou."
American Dad! (2005)
"How about it, Smith? This Saturday is the No Child Left Unarmed Jamboree."
American Dad! (2005)
"Ifyou and your daughter perform, you're our new spokesman."
American Dad! (2005)
"- Yes! - No!"
American Dad! (2005)
"Really? Yes! Victory lap!"
American Dad! (2005)
"Whywould I wear a sailor suit to meet my real parents?"
American Dad! (2005)
"Your parents have a boat. They're rich."
American Dad! (2005)
"- You want them to recognizeyou or not? - You're right. You're right."
American Dad! (2005)
"Hmm, I'm stuck on these lyrics. What rhymes with ammo?"
American Dad! (2005)
"Oh, my God. Tommy!"
American Dad! (2005)
"Thanks. Thanks. There were a couple times when I didn't thinkyou were buying it."
American Dad! (2005)
"Look at their house. It's a box."
American Dad! (2005)
"Thankyou. That was "Suzy Shot a Unicorn.""
American Dad! (2005)
"- Hey, Santa!"
American Dad! (2005)
"- Sure, Dad."
American Dad! (2005)
"Wow! Ifthe hot girl doesn't like guns, l guess I don't either."
American Dad! (2005)
"This is my chance to get myjob back."
American Dad! (2005)
"Dad! Oh, my God! He's been shot!"
American Dad! (2005)
"he's annoying."
American Dad! (2005)
"Guns heal the sick."
American Dad! (2005)
"Snacks for the gun club."
American Dad! (2005)
"I'll be backwith the drinks so you can all get locked and loaded."
American Dad! (2005)
"Funny."
American Dad! (2005)
"Oh, cookie, you look so good."
American Dad! (2005)
"Shh, shh! Don't speak. I'll go get some milk foryour bath."
American Dad! (2005)
"I can't believeyou're feeding those extremists..."
American Dad! (2005)
"from the National Gun Association- They're monsters!"
American Dad! (2005)
"Oh, sweetheart, don't be so dramatic."
American Dad! (2005)
"Besides, aren'tyou having fun cooking with Mommy?"
American Dad! (2005)
"Well, ifit weren't for handcuffs and your father..."
American Dad! (2005)
"You snooze, you lose, huh?"
American Dad! (2005)
"Before we adjourn, let's recite the N.G.A. oath. Hold hands."
American Dad! (2005)
"The Second Amendment..."
American Dad! (2005)
"and use guns responsibly and in service to our fellow man."
American Dad! (2005)
"our ears always open to the cries ofthose in need."
American Dad! (2005)
"Help! Help!"
American Dad! (2005)
"Protecting our community from harm."
American Dad! (2005)
"with anchor partners Greg Corbin and Terry Bates."
American Dad! (2005)
"- Good evening. - Our top story-"
American Dad! (2005)
"The suspect was 6 foot 2 and a bastard!"
American Dad! (2005)
"Drinkyour tea. You wanna cut to commercial?"
American Dad! (2005)
"- Mm-hmm. - Let's cut to commercial."
American Dad! (2005)
"GLOCK, 1 7 shots."
American Dad! (2005)
"Pen-gun, mightierthan the sword."
American Dad! (2005)
"That's weird. I use that pantry a lot."
American Dad! (2005)
"And the paprika not enough."
American Dad! (2005)
"I can't believe this house is teeming with guns. Guns kill."
American Dad! (2005)
"Oh, guns kill. Is that right?"
American Dad! (2005)
"Well, let's see about that. Okay, gun, kill."
American Dad! (2005)
"Go ahead. Kill someone. Don't be shy."
American Dad! (2005)
"See? Guns don't kill people. People kill people."
American Dad! (2005)
"Gun defend people against people with smaller guns."
American Dad! (2005)
"- You're such a fascist. - Peace pusher!"
American Dad! (2005)
"- Murderer! - Hermaphrodite!"
American Dad! (2005)
"- Stan! - I'm swingin' wild, Francine!"
American Dad! (2005)
"You used to be best friends."
American Dad! (2005)
"Both ofyou, in the living room now!"
American Dad! (2005)
"This is howyou two used to be."
American Dad! (2005)
"Can I fly it?"
American Dad! (2005)
"Only ifyou promise you won't fly away."
American Dad! (2005)
"- Oop."
American Dad! (2005)
"- Hey, this is our spot! Push on! - Are you deaf? Push on!"
American Dad! (2005)
"Now, you promiseyou're just gonna watch it once and then erase it?"
American Dad! (2005)
"Yes. I just wanna see what we look like."
American Dad! (2005)
"The point is, there was a time when you two weren't always fighting."
American Dad! (2005)
"That was before I knew Dad was a gun-toting maniac."
American Dad! (2005)
"- Chupacabra! - I'm the Mexican bigfoot?"
American Dad! (2005)
"- You heard her. She admitted it. - Enough!"
American Dad! (2005)
"Now, tomorrowyou two are going to spend the day together and reconnect..."
American Dad! (2005)
"or I am gonna lose it!"
American Dad! (2005)
"So help me, God, l will cutyour pretty faces."
American Dad! (2005)
"- So, uh, tomorrow? - Yeah, yeah. Tomorrow."
American Dad! (2005)
"Ach, that's the worst thing to happen to wine since the movie Sideways."
American Dad! (2005)
"That's right, America. Come get me."
American Dad! (2005)
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