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Clips from The Cleveland Show - Pilot (S01E01)

"I guess you'd say there's so much hot area of skin walking around here."
The Cleveland Show
"- I'm glad I grew up when I did. - Where is all your baseball trophies?"
The Cleveland Show
"Looks like they move the trophy case."
The Cleveland Show
"I beg you pardon, can you tell me where the trophy case..."
The Cleveland Show
"- Cleveland? - Donna?"
The Cleveland Show
"Thanks for driving me to the dance, Cleveland."
The Cleveland Show
"Robert would have brought me himself, but he wanted to get drunk"
The Cleveland Show
"I don't know why you're with that guy, he don't treat you right."
The Cleveland Show
"- Oh, he's not so bad. - Well, I think he is."
The Cleveland Show
"And I just want you to know that..."
The Cleveland Show
"I think you're great."
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"You're wonderful Donna."
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"- I love... - There you are, baby!"
The Cleveland Show
"Thanks for keeping her warm for me, do-boy."
The Cleveland Show
"Donna come on over here and show my buddies your nice fat ass."
The Cleveland Show
"- Wow, damn! - That's a nice fat ass."
The Cleveland Show
"So you're working here at the old school?"
The Cleveland Show
"Yeah, I work for the Principal."
The Cleveland Show
"- How long you're in town for? - A couple of days."
The Cleveland Show
"Well, if you need a place to stay, we have a spare room at our house."
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"- But what would Robert think? - Oh, Cleveland..."
The Cleveland Show
"There is no Robert anymore."
The Cleveland Show
"Back in high school, I would have killed to spend the night"
The Cleveland Show
"Is she the one you use to looked at naked trough her bedroom window"
The Cleveland Show
"from the ladder that..."
The Cleveland Show
"- You're alright Donna? - Yes, Lester. Why?"
The Cleveland Show
"There's a couple of black guys following you."
The Cleveland Show
"Oh, I'm sorry. I forgot, you're also black."
The Cleveland Show
"Have a good day then."
The Cleveland Show
"Well, I guess I'm back in the south."
The Cleveland Show
"Eighty-nine. Fourty-three on the back."
The Cleveland Show
"And the greens were fast."
The Cleveland Show
"I know, I read your twitter."
The Cleveland Show
"Holt, this is my friend Cleveland."
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"What's up Dawg?"
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"- You gotta blow it up, Bro. - Holt!"
The Cleveland Show
"- What mom? - It's time for dinner."
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"I'm talking to my friends!"
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"I've got to get my grub on. I come back later."
The Cleveland Show
"Bring the new Dave. Live in Austin. Sick!"
The Cleveland Show
"He's a funny little man."
The Cleveland Show
"Rallo, this is Cleveland and Cleveland Jr."
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"They're going to be our guests for a couple of nights."
The Cleveland Show
"We're having fat people stay at our house now"
The Cleveland Show
"Roberta!"
The Cleveland Show
"- Where's your sister? - She left!"
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"- And left you alone! - Evidently."
The Cleveland Show
"Rallo got kicked out. He pulled down the teacher's pants."
The Cleveland Show
"I misread a signal."
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"Honey, go show Cleveland Jr. upstairs to the guestroom."
The Cleveland Show
"We ain't got no freit elevator."
The Cleveland Show
"You're alright with me, Chops, come on."
The Cleveland Show
"That one gets kicked out of school, and his sister who's supposed"
The Cleveland Show
"to be watching him is probably running around with that"
The Cleveland Show
"nogood boyfriend Federline Jones."
The Cleveland Show
"Hard to believe a daughter of yours would be attracted to"
The Cleveland Show
"a boy who is no good for her."
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"Twenty-five years later and you're still giving me guff about Robert."
The Cleveland Show
"You need to get laid, fool."
The Cleveland Show
"Oh mom! Thank God you're home."
The Cleveland Show
"Rallo probably already told you."
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"But on the way I was mugged by six Al-Quaidas."
The Cleveland Show
"And I say: "Oh no, you don't, Al-Quaidas.""
The Cleveland Show
"And I fought them off. One by one."
The Cleveland Show
"I fought off six Al-Quaidas."
The Cleveland Show
"Oh please, Roberta."
The Cleveland Show
"for the milage one the way out there."
The Cleveland Show
"And with gas prices these days..."
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"Gas costs a lot."
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"He gets what I'm talking about."
The Cleveland Show
"I've got to go get ready for Federline."
The Cleveland Show
"Studying a wiener."
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"Rallo! Oh, I swear my kids need some fathering."
The Cleveland Show
"Tell you what."
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"I get them on the right track before I leave for California."
The Cleveland Show
"Roberta, can I talk to you for a moment?"
The Cleveland Show
"No! You get on my nerves."
The Cleveland Show
"Like one white people make a TV show, they think black people will watch."
The Cleveland Show
"We now return to..."
The Cleveland Show
""That's what I was telling you before.""
The Cleveland Show
"What are you kids doing? The church costumed party is tomorrow."
The Cleveland Show
"That's what I was telling you before."
The Cleveland Show
"Are you Federline Jones?"
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"I don't need my windows washed, old man."
The Cleveland Show
"Do you see a squeegee or scheme cloth"
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"How would I wash your windows without those things?"
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"It would be impossible to wash your windows without those things."
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"Now, if you wanted me to check your spark plugs maybe I could do that,"
The Cleveland Show
"because all I would need is for you to pop the hood."
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"But that's not why I came out here."
The Cleveland Show
"There's a lady inside who you're going to bring home at ten o'clock,"
The Cleveland Show
"not 9:59,"
The Cleveland Show
"because that might be too soon."
The Cleveland Show
"Because I'm hoping to get in a bit of petting myself tonight."
The Cleveland Show
"I don't know why I'm telling you this but it's true."
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"I want it because it feels good!"
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"Damn, I put a lot of time into this one,"
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"and I'm not going to let you mess it all up by coming home at 9:59!"
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"So, what time are you going to bring her home?"
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"Ten o'clock!"
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"So, you really showed that kid who's the boss, huh?"
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"A black man!"
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"You see? It doesn't feel so good, does it? It's very reductive."
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"Anyway, don't worry about it. You must be Cleveland."
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"- Who are you? - I'm Donna's neighbour, Tim."
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"But my wife and our son Ramon live here, in this house, right here."
The Cleveland Show
"Aren't you supposed to live in the woods?"
The Cleveland Show
"Yeah, I suppose... It's not..."
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"It's not the best place to make a buck in today's... Well, you know..."
The Cleveland Show
"the rat race!"
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"I know, right?"
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"Tim, for heaven's sake! How long does it take to take out the trash?"
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"Stop laying with that man. Either eat him or come inside."
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"She'd tie my head over the menthol if she found out."
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"That's the antidote right there."
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"Okay. Well, may the peace of... Jesus Christ be with you."
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"Alright then."
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"I don't trust that Federline Jones..."
The Cleveland Show
"Have you considered genital mutilation?"
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"What?"
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