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Clips from Seinfeld - The Old Man (S04E04)

"You have to get them. I'm not carrying them."
Seinfeld
"In fact, you should see this housekeeper."
Seinfeld
"She's from Senegal."
Seinfeld
"Senegal?"
Seinfeld
"- English? No. - No."
Seinfeld
"Hey, what are those bums doing back there?"
Seinfeld
"- You don't speak any English? - No English."
Seinfeld
"You don't understand."
Seinfeld
"It's a miracle."
Seinfeld
"You don't understand because you don't speak English."
Seinfeld
"So I just don't know if this arrangement-"
Seinfeld
"Hey. Hey. I don't like what's going on around here."
Seinfeld
"- I want all of you bums out of here. - Calm down-"
Seinfeld
"- Get your hands off me. - Cool it, pops."
Seinfeld
"- Why, you little- - Wait, wait, Mr. Fields."
Seinfeld
"He's biting me!"
Seinfeld
"My teeth. My teeth!"
Seinfeld
"I saw something fly over here."
Seinfeld
"Well, turn the light on."
Seinfeld
"That's the garbage disposal."
Seinfeld
"My teeth. You idiots."
Seinfeld
"George, Kramer, look after Mr. Fields. I'll go get the cab."
Seinfeld
"Bunch of morons."
Seinfeld
"Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Where's the old man?"
Seinfeld
"I thought George was keeping an eye on him."
Seinfeld
"- Me? I thought you were. - Come on, we lost the old man."
Seinfeld
"Let's go. Get out of the car. Go. We've gotta find him."
Seinfeld
"- Well, that sounds like a lot of fun. - Yes, and..."
Seinfeld
"...you'd see a long view of rolling pastures and..."
Seinfeld
"- Get you going, right there. - ... and very big Brahman cows and..."
Seinfeld
"- Oh, cows? Oh, that's... - Yeah, that was when..."
Seinfeld
"- ... fascinating. - ... I began my affair with Mohandas."
Seinfeld
"- What? - Mohandas."
Seinfeld
"Gandhi?"
Seinfeld
"The forbidden pleasure."
Seinfeld
"He used to dip his bald head in oil..."
Seinfeld
"Oh, my God."
Seinfeld
"The Mahatma?"
Seinfeld
"- We're looking for the old man. - Oh, we will. We will."
Seinfeld
"- Take it or leave it. - We got Al Jolson here. Al Jolson!"
Seinfeld
"Al Jolson. What the hell do I care about Al Jolson?"
Seinfeld
"I'd just as soon hear you sing Mammy."
Seinfeld
"This guy is nothing but a piece of crap."
Seinfeld
"You are nothing but a piece of crap."
Seinfeld
"- A piece of crap. - A piece of crap."
Seinfeld
"- I find you extremely ugly. - I find you extremely ugly."
Seinfeld
"- Do you? - You emit a foul and unpleasant odour."
Seinfeld
"- You emit a foul and unpleasant odour. - Oh, is that right?"
Seinfeld
"- I loathe you. - I loathe you."
Seinfeld
"- Make us. - Make us. Make us. Make us."
Seinfeld
"Do you realize how irresponsible this is?"
Seinfeld
"And in one fell swoop you have single-handedly..."
Seinfeld
"Yes, but..."
Seinfeld
"- Yes? - It's Tim Fields. Mr. Fields' son."
Seinfeld
"All right, come on up."
Seinfeld
"Oh, great."
Seinfeld
"Well, his false teeth got mangled up in the garbage disposal."
Seinfeld
"What the hell is going on here? How do you lose a human being?"
Seinfeld
"Take his records?"
Seinfeld
"Do you realize how valuable that record collection is?"
Seinfeld
"- Hey! - There you are. Did you find him?"
Seinfeld
"No."
Seinfeld
"We took the records over to Ron's, and he tried to screw us..."
Seinfeld
"Yeah, a real brouhaha."
Seinfeld
"- Then all the records broke. - The records? My father's records?"
Seinfeld
"- Did anybody try and call him? - Yeah, I called, but there's no answer."
Seinfeld
"When you like them, they don't like you..."
Seinfeld
"...and when they like you, you don't like them."
Seinfeld
"Oh, you don't know what you want."
Seinfeld
"You should see a psychiatrist."
Seinfeld
"I got fixed up last week."
Seinfeld
"I never would get fixed up."
Seinfeld
"I go to pick her up, and she opens the door..."
Seinfeld
"...and she's got this huge goitre growing out of the side of her neck."
Seinfeld
"Looked like a football."
Seinfeld
"- What did you do? - Well, we get to talking..."
Seinfeld
"...and as it turns out, the woman knew Gandhi."
Seinfeld
"...and then she made some tea."
Seinfeld
"Put some milk in it without asking me."
Seinfeld
"Now, that's a turnoff."
Seinfeld
"You don't need that."
Seinfeld
"The thing about old people..."
Seinfeld
"...is everything about them gets smaller."
Seinfeld
"You know, their bodies get smaller. They move into smaller places."
Seinfeld
"They sleep less time, they eat smaller meals."
Seinfeld
"Except the car. The older they get, the bigger their car gets."
Seinfeld
"Old people have a way of backing out of the driveway."
Seinfeld
"I'm backing it out.You know? I'm coming back."
Seinfeld
"Watch out. I'm coming,you know. And you've gotta watch out for them."
Seinfeld
"...the faster you would wanna go."
Seinfeld
"If you're 100, go 100."
Seinfeld
"They can't see where they're going anyway, let them have fun out there."
Seinfeld
"Seventy-five or six or something for women."
Seinfeld
"Why can't I act with ones I like the way I do with ones I don't?"
Seinfeld
"Thank you."
Seinfeld
"You know Ron's Records down on Bleecker?"
Seinfeld
"- I don't like it. - I don't like it."
Seinfeld
"- Mr. Fields? - What?"
Seinfeld
"I might drop dead today, but I sure as hell wasn't born yesterday."
Seinfeld
"I'm grateful for every moment I have."
Seinfeld
"What are you talking about?"
Seinfeld
"What do you know?"
Seinfeld
"Georgie, what happened with your guy?"
Seinfeld
"My father was a quitter. My grandfather was a quitter."
Seinfeld
"I was raised to give up."
Seinfeld
"- But you're gonna come. - Yeah. I'm going there today."
Seinfeld
"I would like to dip my bald head in oil and rub it all over your body."
Seinfeld
"And we would take long automobile trips."
Seinfeld
"Twenty bucks? Are you out of your mind?"
Seinfeld
"What were his teeth doing in the garbage disposal?"
Seinfeld
"- I am sorry. - And who were these other people?"
Seinfeld
"Well, I brought them up there to take his records."
Seinfeld
"- ... and then we got in a fight. - A real melee."
Seinfeld
"Well, are you gonna see her again?"
Seinfeld
"Know what I mean? They don't turn side to side."
Seinfeld
"I would think the less time you have in life..."
Seinfeld
"...life expectancy was 30."
Seinfeld
"...to have someone to talk to."
Seinfeld
"No, Mr. Fields. Look. Really. I'm- Here's my ident-"
Seinfeld
"But, Mr. Cantwell, you owe me for the soup."
Seinfeld
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