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Clips from Fresh Off the Boat - Gotta Be Me (S02E02)

"granting you permission to eat two lunches."
Fresh Off the Boat
"It's my permission slip for my history-class field trip."
Fresh Off the Boat
"Field trips are just paid vacations for teachers."
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"I don't pay taxes so they can walk around a museum"
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"telling our children"
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"When your class goes on the field trip,"
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"you can just do CLC in the library."
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"End of discussion. Okay."
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"You never let me do anything."
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"Louis, I'm going with Honey to the mall to run some errands."
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"Maybe I'll eat a pretzel or a doughnut."
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"Okay! Just finishing my coffee,"
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"Just as soon as I find those tapes."
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"So many nipples."
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"Ah! Don't lift him by the neck, Louis."
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"Lift him by the sphenoid."
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"Uh-huh."
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"Uh, Marvin, I actually just came over"
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"to ask your advice about something."
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"Uh, okay. What a beauty."
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"Anyway, what were you saying?"
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"Oh, um, does Honey ever..."
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"look at other men?"
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"Why?"
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"What the hell did you hear?"
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"Nothing."
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"under Jessica's side of the bed."
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"Shirtless-men tapes."
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"Shirtless-men tapes?"
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"Oh. Uh-huh."
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"the macho action-movie energy she clearly craves."
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"You know, now that I hear it out loud,"
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"it does sound kind of crazy."
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"No, it doesn't."
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"because she didn't want to hurt your feelings,"
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"which you shouldn't even have in the first place."
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"Maybe you're right, Marvin."
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"Tonight, I'm going to sit her down and really talk it out."
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"Talk?"
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"They're action heroes, not talking heroes."
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"You want to solve the problem, you got to act."
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"You think I took that stag to tea"
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"and floated the idea of mounting his head on my wall?"
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"No. I just did it."
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"Pow!"
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"You want to stop Jessica from watching those tapes?"
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"You got to show her you can be that kind of a man."
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"- Pow! - Pow!"
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"I'm telling you, it was him!"
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"Why would Steven Tyler be at the Sharper Image in Orlando?"
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"Because he wants a fogless shave mirror, Honey."
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"Anyway, how's everything else?"
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"How are your boys doing?"
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"Fine. Eddie's mad at me"
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"because I won't let him go on his history field trip."
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"The one to Colonial Floridatowne?"
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"Believe me, you're doing the right thing."
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"and let's just say the bathrooms are very realistic."
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"Did you just say Colonial Floridatowne?"
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"They are literally wood sheds with a hole in the ground."
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"I love colonial American history!"
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"Colonial Americans were like the Chinese of today."
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"Their struggle, their work ethic,"
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"I mean, you've seen my porcelain colonial mice."
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"What the...?"
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"under the harshest of circumstances,"
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"and for that, they deserve our respect."
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"Proud, hard-working,"
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"as if to say, "Show me your worst, America."
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"I'll still have milk.""
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"This one looks a little bit like Sally Field,"
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"don't you think?"
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"Where's your brother?"
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"He's playing Super Mario in his room."
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"Eddie, you're gonna be late!"
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"Stop playing Italian Maintenance Twins and get in here!"
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"Later, I'm going to dig a trash pit and burn this."
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"Louis, what are you doing? Put a shirt on."
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"I feel more comfortable this way."
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"You wear a t-shirt in the ocean."
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"the macho action-movie energy you clearly crave."
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"What are you talking about?"
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"Your action-movie tapes."
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"I don't watch action movies."
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"about legal briefs."
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""Where are the legal briefs?"
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"Who has the legal briefs?"
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"Julia Roberts, get me the legal briefs.""
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"Okay, so if you didn't rent them, who did?"
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"All I found was a Chow YunFat calendar."
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"Somebody in this house is lying to me,"
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"Forgetting something?"
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"Uh, why are you giving me this?"
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"I changed my mind."
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"You can go on your history field trip."
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"Really?"
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"Wait."
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"Why are you wearing a hat?"
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"Because I'm coming with you as parent chaperone."
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"Aha!"
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"I can explain."
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"Oh, uh, no, no, I'm not, uh, mad."
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"I-I-I-I-I-I'm just, um, well..."
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"A-a-and by that I mean..."
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"Greg Louganis is a wonderful... And Broadway."
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"Uh, although we may not live in the best state for..."
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"The tapes were research for school."
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"I knew it."
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"You know how I've always made friends easily?"
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"Well, there's been a change at school."
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"It's like it happened overnight."
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"And I'm tapping five mana to cast Ancestral Tentacle Grab,"
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"dealing two damage to all your..."
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"Oops."
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"Suddenly, all of my friends are acting like tough guys."
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"All they want to talk about is cars, fire,"
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"and throwing things at other things."
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"And that's not me."
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"I don't even know how to hang with them anymore."
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"like a large soda halfway through "Schindler's List.""
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