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Clips from Axe Cop - Axe Cop Saves God (S02E02)

"Buenas tardes, Doctor Maracas!"
Axe Cop
"Oh yeah, nothing like a celebratory piece of birthday cake"
Axe Cop
"after a successful bad guy massacre."
Axe Cop
"I'm going to dedicate my life to the enjoyment of ham!"
Axe Cop
"Because ham is even better than birthday cake!"
Axe Cop
"the cop found the perfect axe."
Axe Cop
"Oh, ooh-la-la, you are too kind, Axe Cop."
Axe Cop
"Ahem. A ham toast."
Axe Cop
"My name is Mr. Chicken-Chickenslice."
Axe Cop
"My power is the ability to shoot chickens out of my brain"
Axe Cop
"I became such a good guy that they let me out early."
Axe Cop
"There are too many of them!"
Axe Cop
"Eating the bad guys is making them bigger!"
Axe Cop
"Let's start killing them!"
Axe Cop
"I have no idea, 'cause that's not easy. I mean, I'm not ashamed"
Axe Cop
"Bring me all the evil in the capital!"
Axe Cop
"So hungry!"
Axe Cop
"God?"
Axe Cop
"That's impossible. Bobber Smartist was my dad."
Axe Cop
"He died from eating poisoned candy canes."
Axe Cop
"Sorry, son. Bobber and Gobber Smartist are not"
Axe Cop
"Let me tell you your actual origin story,"
Axe Cop
"The one nobody ever knew about."
Axe Cop
"Your mother and I had placed you in there to save you."
Axe Cop
"Soon after, you were adopted by the Smartists."
Axe Cop
"They were gonna tell you but eventually they forgot."
Axe Cop
"God, Axe Cop and his team have arrived."
Axe Cop
"As you know, Satan and his demons are trying to attack Heaven."
Axe Cop
"I just picked the best voice."
Axe Cop
"- Wrong. I have the best... - Quiet!!!"
Axe Cop
"But first, I would like to ask you one important question while we're talking."
Axe Cop
"He's got the Washington Monument, the sharpest"
Axe Cop
"- monument of all! - That could really hurt som..."
Axe Cop
"Somehow I expected you to be bigger. Pathetic!"
Axe Cop
"I'm coming for you, old friend."
Axe Cop
"- I wont chew, I'll just swallow. - Awesome!"
Axe Cop
"Now you get to go to Heaven-Heaven."
Axe Cop
"through your stupid, glowing head!"
Axe Cop
"Thanks for saving me, Axe Cop."
Axe Cop
"We do. They're very happy here."
Axe Cop
"Hya!"
Axe Cop
"Yeah! You did it."
Axe Cop
"Now let's go eat some birthday cake."
Axe Cop
"I'm so sorry, darling, we are fresh out of birthday cake."
Axe Cop
"- How's the ham? - Eh. It's pretty decent."
Axe Cop
"Hey, maybe you should try the ham, Axe Cop?"
Axe Cop
"They say change is good. I know ham is good."
Axe Cop
"- you don't have to finish it. - You're Axe Cop!"
Axe Cop
"Fine. I'll try it."
Axe Cop
"Um, we would me gusta four quatros of your most bueno hammos, por favor."
Axe Cop
"Here's your ham, boys."
Axe Cop
"Yes!"
Axe Cop
"Ack."
Axe Cop
"Mm-mmm!"
Axe Cop
"- So, you like it? - I don't just like it, I love it!"
Axe Cop
"I love ham so much that from this day forward,"
Axe Cop
"One day, at the scene of the fire,"
Axe Cop
"_"
Axe Cop
"So, he had tryouts and hired a partner."
Axe Cop
"_"
Axe Cop
"I will chop your heads off!"
Axe Cop
"I've built the world's greatest ham restaurant"
Axe Cop
"here in Washington, DC, the ham capital of America."
Axe Cop
"May I introduce Chef Philip, the greatest ham cook on Earth."
Axe Cop
"You have really fallen hard for the swine, my friend."
Axe Cop
"- This is amazing. - Keep it coming, Chef Philip."
Axe Cop
"Because we're never leaving."
Axe Cop
"Ugh, I didn't know I could eat that much ham."
Axe Cop
"It's just a shame all those pigs had to die."
Axe Cop
"The pigs get little carts."
Axe Cop
"You're adorable!"
Axe Cop
"He sent me here. We're friends. No big deal."
Axe Cop
"Explain yourself, chicken man."
Axe Cop
"when I close my eyes. This is my story."
Axe Cop
"Back then I used my powers to commit crime."
Axe Cop
"Police! Police!"
Axe Cop
"My powers weren't strong enough to get away,"
Axe Cop
"And so I went to prison a very angry person"
Axe Cop
"I volunteered to work with homeless people."
Axe Cop
"I told them if they'd agree to take a shower"
Axe Cop
"Too bad your powers don't involve ham."
Axe Cop
"You could save this place some serious overhead."
Axe Cop
"- Am I right? - So, what are you doing here?"
Axe Cop
"Have you looked outside lately?!"
Axe Cop
"While you were enjoying your delicious ham,"
Axe Cop
"Satan and his demons have taken control of the Earth!"
Axe Cop
"Welcome to Axe Ham, hell beast. I hope you like ham,"
Axe Cop
"How are we gonna get to Heaven?"
Axe Cop
"to say that I've done some very questionable things in..."
Axe Cop
"Now for my ultimate weapon!"
Axe Cop
"Maybe I can help with that."
Axe Cop
"I'm sure he's here somewhere."
Axe Cop
"Dad! Daddy! Dad, where are you?!"
Axe Cop
"When your meteor crashed into the Earth, you were thrown from it."
Axe Cop
"You hit your head so hard"
Axe Cop
"you went into a baby coma and forgot everything."
Axe Cop
"You began to hunt for food."
Axe Cop
"Chopper to base, chopper to base."
Axe Cop
"Got an orphan down below, bringing him in."
Axe Cop
"Sometimes old people forget things."
Axe Cop
"That was boring. Is it time to talk to God yet?"
Axe Cop
"Yes. It's time to talk to God."
Axe Cop
"God? You're a girl? But all girls are on the dumb list."
Axe Cop
"To help, I will give you and your team angel wings for one day."
Axe Cop
"We will gladly fight for you."
Axe Cop
"Is ham the greatest food ever made?"
Axe Cop
"Eh, it's pretty decent."
Axe Cop
"How are we supposed to fight that?"
Axe Cop
"Yah! Stop right there, Satan!"
Axe Cop
"Is that the best you've got, God?"
Axe Cop
"He's too big! What are we gonna do?"
Axe Cop
"The way I figure it is, if the devil got big eating bad guys,"
Axe Cop
"then you can get big eating good guys."
Axe Cop
"I already thought of that."
Axe Cop
"Son, don't talk with your mouth full."
Axe Cop
"I'll try to make this as painless as possible."
Axe Cop
"God, I'm here for you, scaredy-cat!"
Axe Cop
"Ha! Those horns are funny."
Axe Cop
"Are you supposed to be like a scary ram or something?"
Axe Cop
"Ooh, I'm so scared of Satan."
Axe Cop
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