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Clips from Sanford and Son (1972) - Coffins for Sale (S01E01)

"and the judge gave him six months."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"Oh, my heart!"
Sanford and Son (1972)
"You hear that, Elizabeth? I'm coming to join you, honey."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"And your dummy son, he's brought me a wooden overcoat."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"- What's the matter with you? - Them coffins, ain't they?"
Sanford and Son (1972)
"Of course they're coffins, but they can't hurt you."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"- Come over here. Come over here. - Don't bother me. Don't touch me."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"- I'm not going near them things. - Just take it easy."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"There's nobody in here. Listen."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"- Anybody in there? No. - Don't do that."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"Haven't you ever seen coffins before?"
Sanford and Son (1972)
"Yeah, but not in my own backyard. Get 'em out of here."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"- I paid $25 for these. - I don't care what you paid for 'em."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"- Get 'em out of here. - Listen to me."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"We can make ourselves a nice little profit on these things."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"I bought 'em at an auction. Nobody else would bid on 'em."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"Nobody would bid on 'em but an undertaker and a dummy."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"And you ain't no undertaker."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"Would you stop that and start thinking like a businessman."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"What's wrong with 'em?"
Sanford and Son (1972)
"I don't know. Maybe they last year's model."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"I don't like bathtubs. I take a shower."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"- Just get 'em out of here. - Would you listen to me?"
Sanford and Son (1972)
"We all have to go sometime."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"I hope if they need 'em, they come and take 'em before they need 'em."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"That's when we'll make ourselves a nice little profit on the deal, okay?"
Sanford and Son (1972)
"Okay, but they ain't stayin' out here in the yard."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"Of course not. They're going in the house."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"You don't think I'm gonna leave 'em out here. They'll get ruined out here."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"- Well, they ain't going in the house. - Well, they're not staying out here."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"No, they're not. Over my dead body."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"Well, that's one sale we got. Which one do you want?"
Sanford and Son (1972)
"I think they're both the same size. And they're a good color."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"- Brown will go with anything. - So will this brown go with anything."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"Would you grab the other end when I slide this out, okay?"
Sanford and Son (1972)
"I ain't going in first."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"Make me feel like a pallbearer."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"You believe all them silly superstitions, don't you?"
Sanford and Son (1972)
"Don't put your hat on the bed. Put it right down here."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"A cat yowling at midnight means there's gonna be a death in the house."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"Come and help me get the other."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"You can think what you want to, but it happened."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"and yowled outside the house all night."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"They found him the next morning, dead."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"Pop, the cat was yowling 'cause he never saw anybody that liquored up."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"And as for your Cousin Richard, they found him dead, all right."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"Grab that other end."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"I sure don't like to touch these things."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"Haven't you ever heard of that old sayin'..."
Sanford and Son (1972)
""The second time through you gotta go feet first"?"
Sanford and Son (1972)
"- I didn't... I didn't remember that. - Yeah."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"Now, You see that? I just made that up and you believed me."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"Yeah, but what about when all them pigeons..."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"gathered on top of Miss Johnson's house, and I told you that was a bad sign?"
Sanford and Son (1972)
"I said Miss Johnson's not gonna be around long."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"Miss Johnson was 97 years old."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"Well, the pigeons knew it."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"They knew they had to take a rest. Pigeons can't fly forever."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"Why'd they have to rest on top of her roof? You can't answer that, can you?"
Sanford and Son (1972)
"I can't answer that 'cause it doesn't make any sense."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"That's part of the nonsense that we were just talking about."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"You get these things out of here."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"You turned this house into a place of mourning."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"And I suppose up until now this junkyard has been Fun City."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"I think these coffins kind of cheer the place up."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"Pop, if that was the case, there wouldn't be an undertaker alive."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"Yeah, but that's different. That's their job."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"And it's not a bad one. That's not a bad business to get into."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"- You got cold hands. - Don't touch me."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"And a nice sad kisser."
Sanford and Son (1972)
""Sanford and Son, Funeral Directors. ""
Sanford and Son (1972)
""Immediate family, right this way to the first row, please. ""
Sanford and Son (1972)
"- Something awful's gonna happen. - Don't worry. Just relax."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"We'll have a customer for these things before the day is over."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"On the way home I stopped by the barbershop to spread the word."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"- That's not a bad idea. - Shut up."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"we could cut the back out and make a sofa or a couch."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"- What do you say, Pop? - Don't call me Pop."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"You really are ridiculous."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"- Yeah? - Mr. Sanford?"
Sanford and Son (1972)
"I'm Nelson Lee Davis of the Davis Funeral Home."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"- Oh, yeah. - You have some caskets for sale?"
Sanford and Son (1972)
"- Right. Come on in, Mr. Davis. - Thank you."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"You must excuse my cold hands."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"Cold hands, warm chapel."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"That's as funny as a train wreck."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"Now, that'd get you some business."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"I'm glad you enjoyed it."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"- Mr. Davis, the coffins are here. - Ah, yes."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"Ain't nobody in there. Dummy checked."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"May I ask if you might know who the last owner happened to be?"
Sanford and Son (1972)
"It was a little old lady from Pasadena."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"A little joke from my profession."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"Would you stop that. Why do you ask, Mr. Davis?"
Sanford and Son (1972)
"Well, I would like to know a little about the construction."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"For example, are they lined with copper or zinc?"
Sanford and Son (1972)
"- It makes a difference. - Not to the one who's getting in 'em."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"Would you stop it."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"- What were you thinking of asking? - Fifty dollars apiece."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"- Fifty dollars? - Well, what were you thinking?"
Sanford and Son (1972)
"I was thinking $25, for the two."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"You know something? That's good thinking."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"- That's good thinking. Take it. - I'm sorry."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"What about $30?"
Sanford and Son (1972)
"I'm sorry. Fifty dollars apiece."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"I'm sorry. Thirty dollars. That's my final offer."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"- I'm sorry, Mr. Davis. - Well, I am too."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"If you change your mind, give me a call."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"It's been a slow week. Business is dead."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"Good day, gentlemen."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"You could've sold 'em. He offered you $30."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"I'm telling you, Pop, I'm gonna make a killing with these."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"Why don't you make two killings and get rid of both of'em?"
Sanford and Son (1972)
"You see that? There's another customer already."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"Wait a minute. Melvin! Melvin!"
Sanford and Son (1972)
"You get them things out the house."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"There's another customer. What did I tell you?"
Sanford and Son (1972)
"This time of evening? Are you kidding?"
Sanford and Son (1972)
"Just watch and see."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"- Hey, Melvin. Come on in. - Are those caskets still in here?"
Sanford and Son (1972)
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