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Clips from Sanford and Son (1972) - Coffins for Sale (S01E01)

"If they are, I'm not coming in."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"Hey, Fred, come on out here."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"It's your friend Melvin."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"I'm not coming back in while you got those two things in your living room."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"I don't wanna go in there either."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"Do you know anybody around that might be able to use one?"
Sanford and Son (1972)
"If he can use it, he ain't no longer around."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"On the other hand, if he's around, he can't use it."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"Sort of like selling Christmas trees the day after Christmas."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"Yeah, I guess you're right. What'd you let him buy them things for anyway?"
Sanford and Son (1972)
"I didn't. You know how kids are today."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"They got what they call "doing their thing. " He won't even listen."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"I guess we were the same way when we were young, Fred."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"- Yeah. - Did you listen to your father?"
Sanford and Son (1972)
"Every time he raised that strap up, he had my complete attention."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"Are you two just gonna stay out there and talk?"
Sanford and Son (1972)
"Two old superstitious men, you and Melvin."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"But I ain't going back in there."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"Look at my right eye jumping."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"That means somebody's there waitin' for you. And hurry 'cause it might rain."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"- How can you tell? - My corn's been actin' up."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"- That's a true sign. - It is."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"I'm going home before it starts raining. I'll see you later on."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"- All right. - Come on by anytime."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"You almost caused me to lose my best friend."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"And what are you gonna do with these things?"
Sanford and Son (1972)
"What do you mean, what am I gonna do with them?"
Sanford and Son (1972)
"Tomorrow? You mean they stayin' here tonight?"
Sanford and Son (1972)
"I already told you, they'll get ruined out in the yard."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"That's right. I ain't stayin' in no house with no coffins."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"That don't make me no difference. I'll get a couple of blankets."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"- All that smell of gasoline. - Gasoline clears my sinuses."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"I've slept under worse conditions in the trenches."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"This is really ridiculous. You're actually gonna go through with it?"
Sanford and Son (1972)
"These are just two empty coffins. They can't hurt you."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"But if I stay here tonight, you won't have to sell but one of'em."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"When I was a kid, I heard a story once."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"A fella stayed in the house all night with a coffin..."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"and the next morning, his hair had turned white."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"Now, you'd look good with white hair..."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"just likeJackie Robinson."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"- What are you afraid of? - Nothin'. Ain't nothin' gonna hurt me."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"- I'm just gonna get me some sleep. - I'll leave the door open for you..."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"He doesn't make any sense. It's ridiculous."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"Just two coffins."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"I'm not afraid. I'll stay in here."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"Don't bother me."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"- Say, Pop, can you hear me? - What?"
Sanford and Son (1972)
"I just wanted to know if you was all right and to tell you..."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"that I left the door open for you in case you change your mind."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"I don't want you to be scared out there."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"Two empty coffins."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"What are you trying to do, give me a heart attack?"
Sanford and Son (1972)
"I just wanted to tell you that the lights don't work."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"What you come out here and try to kill me for?"
Sanford and Son (1972)
"Yeah, that's what I'll do. I'll change the fuse."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"- It probably just needs a fuse. - Yeah. Go, will you?"
Sanford and Son (1972)
"- I'll just go change it. - Please change it."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"- Good night. - Night."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"Pop, where's the fuses?"
Sanford and Son (1972)
"Where you expect 'em to be, in the fruit bowl?"
Sanford and Son (1972)
"They in the fuse box."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"- You don't have to worry. - Will you go on in."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"I'll just change the fuse."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"- What? Who is it? - It's me, Pop. Lamont."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"- Hi, Pop. - Hi, son."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"- What time is it? - It's just a little after 12."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"Why you wakin' me up at a little after 12?"
Sanford and Son (1972)
"- I wanted to see if you was all right. - I'm all right. Leave me alone."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"Good night."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"Night."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"- What is it now? - You better come back in the house."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"- Are those things still in there? - Yeah."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"- Then I ain't coming back in. - But what about your arthritis?"
Sanford and Son (1972)
"You only got arthritis in your hands. If you stay out here..."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"you'll be a cripple from your neck down."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"And we'll be a perfect match..."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"'cause you're a cripple from your neck up."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"But what if something happens to you and I'm not out here to help you?"
Sanford and Son (1972)
"Now, please, let me rejoin Lena."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"I mean I'm really not."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"If you're gonna be foolish about it, I'm just gonna have to stay here with you."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"No, no, now, listen."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"There's no need of you being out here afraid alone at night..."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"so I'm just gonna stay out here with you."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"- Then go back in the house. - Don't be ridiculous."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"Pop, you asleep?"
Sanford and Son (1972)
"No, I'm just checking my eyelids for cracks."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"If I get rid of them coffins, would you come back in the house?"
Sanford and Son (1972)
"Then I'll see you the first thing tomorrow morning."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"That's what I'll do. I'll just get rid of'em the first thing tomorrow..."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"That's nothing to be ashamed about. Some of us get scared."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"If you believe in that kind of stuff, then it can get to you."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"Fortunately, I don't believe in that, 'cause those coffins are in here..."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"I got 'em loaded on your truck, Mr. Davis. They're ready to go."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"- Thank you. - Mr. Sanford."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"I can't shake on account of my arthritis."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"By the way, do you think you'll be getting your hands on any more coffins?"
Sanford and Son (1972)
"I hate to disappoint you..."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"but this is our final going out of business forever coffin sale."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"Well, thank you again."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"Another little joke in the profession."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"I got exactly what I paid for 'em..."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"and it's all because of you and your silly superstitions."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"Ain't got nothing to do with superstition. I just wanted them out."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"And I suppose now you're gonna tell me that you're not superstitious."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"- What's the matter with you? - Undertaker left his hat."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"He left it on the table, and it's Friday..."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"I'm gonna check the roof for pigeons."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"Would you come back here. Listen. I'll take... Listen..."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"Sanford and Son is recorded on tape before a live studio audience."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"- Pop, how old are you? - You know how old I am. I'm 65."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"the Purple Heart, you won in a crap game..."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"That's right, and continue on down from there."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"Somebody's gonna need these coffins, and they'll come and take 'em off our hands."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"They're surrounded by these things all day."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"Listen. If we can't sell these..."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"That's right. We ain't never had matching end tables."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"- Hey, Melvin. - Hello, Lamont."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"You big dummy, I'm gonna lose all my good friends."
Sanford and Son (1972)
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