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Clips from The Simpsons - Dude, Where's My Ranch? (S14E14)

"The Simpsons"
The Simpsons
"Dude, Where's My Ranch?"
The Simpsons
"- Should I call them off, sir? - No, no. It's their Christmas too."
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"For this, I tied my bathrobe?"
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"Just hear those sleigh bells jingling..."
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"Not true. But you are welcome to sing the many public domain carols..."
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"Those suck. They're worse than nothing."
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"- Oh! - That's better."
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"That's it. I'm writing a Christmas carol."
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"Flanders, I am a patient, reasonable, handsome man."
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"It's a popsicle in my favorite flavor, plain."
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"- F-L-A - His name is Ned"
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"D-E-R - His wife is dead"
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"Springfield rocks With Homer's joyous loathing"
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"Filling clubs with angry Valentinos"
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"Just hate Flanders to the disco beat"
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"He's your perky, peppy Nightmare neighborino"
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"Or his creepy little offspring Rod and Todd"
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"We're halfway through our same song six-pack."
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"..."Colonial Phoenix." Hey, dude ranch."
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"Or we could go to Walter Gropius' Bauhaus Village."
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"And fight the crowds? Forget it."
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"Whoa, whoa!"
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"...by the time I get there. Goodbye."
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"...and four brave Americans lost their hats.""
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"Those poor hats."
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"...and oppression of indigenous people."
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"Yee-haw!"
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"Yee-haw!"
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"I really don't wanna do a lot of flip-de-loops."
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"No problem. You can hop on the chuck wagon with Cookie here."
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"Hold it right there."
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"Well, if you like animals, you won't wanna disappoint that pony over there."
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"She's just aching to show you around."
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"Sorry you're not interested because I need somebody..."
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"That was a delicious meal, Cookie."
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"- What do we do with our garbage? - Leave it for Cleanie."
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"He unified the nations of the western plains."
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"Five dollars or three for 12."
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"You mean package B."
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"And this is supposed to save our marriage?"
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"How come you're selling junk to jerks like us?"
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"Then the river was dammed to make that lake..."
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"Unfortunately, the beaver is also our god."
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"If I get back your land, will you promise to build a casino on it?"
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"Wow!"
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"I didn't gasp like that until I was 18."
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"...and the noble Native Americans can reclaim the land that is theirs."
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"No! I wanted to die choking on food."
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"Thanks for making me feel better about this place, Luke."
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"Uh, well, maybe we should just mosey on over this way. Ah!"
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"Free range my ass."
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"Oh, damn it."
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"I just soaked up the lingo like a biscuit in a bucket full of gopher gravy."
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"I'll stop now."
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"Luke has shown me the gentle side of the Old West."
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"But when he's 23, I'll be 18."
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"I didn't marry the first boy I..."
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"Well, I did, but you shouldn't."
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"It's beef hormones and the fluorescent lights."
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"- What are you gonna do? - They're already acting like teenagers."
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"Lisa's with that boy, and look at Maggie."
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"Oops!... I did it again I played with your heart"
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"Got lost in the game Oh baby, baby"
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"Whew. I'm pooped. I'm going to bed. Bed?"
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"Love you too, Clara."
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"Yeah, it sure is."
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"I look forward to it."
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"Whoa."
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"Peace Pipe Aficionado magazine."
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"- Dang it. Clara should be here by now. - I'm sure she's just running late."
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"Sister? You mean she's not your girlfriend?"
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"Hell, no. They outlawed that in this state two years ago."
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"Don't care. Just totally caught in the moment."
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"But I'll be back in six months."
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"So I sent Luke's sister down the wrong trail and..."
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"And there used to be a beaver dam there."
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"I'm one lesson short."
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"How can we get across?"
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"Homer, those are elk."
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"Just that she felt mighty stupid for getting herself lost in them woods."
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"...and then break my heart."
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"Eh. We can spend another week at the ranch."
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"Shh."
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"Silver bells, silver bells"
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"Oh, that is like so moving."
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"Yo, family, isn't that beautiful?"
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"Mm-hm."
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"Exquisite. Just exquisite."
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"Makes me wish I hadn't released the hounds."
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"Have a nice Christmas Have a nice Christmas"
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"Have a nice Christmas"
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"Non-Christian friend"
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"That's even worse than "I'm Dreaming of a Whitefish Christmas.""
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"- ...royalties to the owner. - Nobody owns Christmas carols."
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"They belong to everyone, like grapes at the grocery store."
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"...such as "O Tannenbaum," "Good King Wenceslas"..."
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"I could write way better songs."
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"Go. But don't use A-flat or G-natural. Those are owned by Disney."
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"- Oh. - That's A-flat."
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"If I can make my own clothes, I can do anything."
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"Christmas in December Whoa, whoa, whoa"
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"Give me tons of presents Now, now, now"
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"- Homer. Writing a new Christmas carol? - Maybe."
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"Well, the Bible says it's fun to do stuff together."
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"There's a stranger In the manger and his name is love"
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"Take it, Homer."
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"But even I have my limits. Now, beat it."
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"Why, thank you, Homer."
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"Lousy, no good... How am I supposed to write a song..."
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"...with that stupid jerk bothering me all the time and...?"
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"Wait a minute."
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"- Everybody in the U.S.A. - Hates their stupid neighbor"
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"He's Flanders And he's really, really lame"
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"Flanders tried to wreck my song His views on birth control are wrong"
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"F-L-A-N-R-D-S"
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"He's the man thatl hate best"
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"I'd like to see his house go up in flame"
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"Excuse me. I've been researching indigenous folk music of Springfield."
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"I couldn't help overhearing your delightfully cruel hate song."
The Simpsons
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