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Clips from Futurama (1999) - Comedy (S07E07)

Well, I assist the Professor in whatever important research

"Well, I assist the Professor in whatever important research"

Futurama (1999)

We were just getting to know each other.

"We were just getting to know each other."

Futurama (1999)

Only if you buy me dinner first.

"Only if you buy me dinner first."

Futurama (1999)

I'm being fired.

"I'm being fired."

Futurama (1999)

I'll never see Hermes again.

"I'll never see Hermes again."

Futurama (1999)

I said hand it over. I'm hungry!

"I said hand it over. I'm hungry!"

Futurama (1999)

You could kill humans and wear a cool hood.

"You could kill humans and wear a cool hood."

Futurama (1999)

Nah, I like my victims to know who did it.

"Nah, I like my victims to know who did it."

Futurama (1999)

Yuri here runs the most sanitary

"Yuri here runs the most sanitary"

Futurama (1999)

So, I hear you're an expert in the shadowy field of body augmentation.

"So, I hear you're an expert in the shadowy field of body augmentation."

Futurama (1999)

I need something that'll make me less inferior

"I need something that'll make me less inferior"

Futurama (1999)

When he stops insulting, that's when I worry.

"When he stops insulting, that's when I worry."

Futurama (1999)

Hand tools? Why don't you get an

"Hand tools? Why don't you get an"

Futurama (1999)

Right here.

"Right here."

Futurama (1999)

I was going to donate them to the Salvation Air Force,

"I was going to donate them to the Salvation Air Force,"

Futurama (1999)

A good old flesh-and-blood human brain.

"A good old flesh-and-blood human brain."

Futurama (1999)

But my mecha-stomach has no need of goat.

"But my mecha-stomach has no need of goat."

Futurama (1999)

Give it way up for Dr. Zoidberg and little Hermes.

"Give it way up for Dr. Zoidberg and little Hermes."

Futurama (1999)

Yes.

"Yes."

Futurama (1999)

Exactly.

"Exactly."

Futurama (1999)

Wait.

"Wait."

Futurama (1999)

Oh, I hope to God I'm using that word correctly.

"Oh, I hope to God I'm using that word correctly."

Futurama (1999)

Come now.

"Come now."

Futurama (1999)

Maybe not, but perhaps I can encourage you

"Maybe not, but perhaps I can encourage you"

Futurama (1999)

Wait. I'll perform the surgery.

"Wait. I'll perform the surgery."

Futurama (1999)

And what's that catchy beat?

"And what's that catchy beat?"

Futurama (1999)

When a happy thought dispelled my woe

"When a happy thought dispelled my woe"

Futurama (1999)

Another brain

"Another brain"

Futurama (1999)

But faster than that!

"But faster than that!"

Futurama (1999)

Quick, Hermes, the keys.

"Quick, Hermes, the keys."

Futurama (1999)

Oh, yeah.

"Oh, yeah."

Futurama (1999)

And I'm-a stick them in your pancreas till I find one that opens it.

"And I'm-a stick them in your pancreas till I find one that opens it."

Futurama (1999)

Honey, we all do. But fair is fair.

"Honey, we all do. But fair is fair."

Futurama (1999)

Wah-ooh Wah-wah-ooh

"Wah-ooh Wah-wah-ooh"

Futurama (1999)

People, as company bureaucrat,

"People, as company bureaucrat,"

Futurama (1999)

With a twist.

"With a twist."

Futurama (1999)

Oh, no. The firing tie.

"Oh, no. The firing tie."

Futurama (1999)

Correct. I will be evaluating each of you,

"Correct. I will be evaluating each of you,"

Futurama (1999)

and the lowest-rated employee, possibly Zoidberg,

"and the lowest-rated employee, possibly Zoidberg,"

Futurama (1999)

will be fired at sundown. Zoidberg.

"will be fired at sundown. Zoidberg."

Futurama (1999)

Classic Hermes.

"Classic Hermes."

Futurama (1999)

Let the interviews begin. Good luck, everybody but Zoidberg.

"Let the interviews begin. Good luck, everybody but Zoidberg."

Futurama (1999)

My primary duties?

"My primary duties?"

Futurama (1999)

he happens to be engaged in.

"he happens to be engaged in."

Futurama (1999)

Yes, sir, I will be sure to snore that science lamp right away.

"Yes, sir, I will be sure to snore that science lamp right away."

Futurama (1999)

Now, Leela, couldn't we just fire you

"Now, Leela, couldn't we just fire you"

Futurama (1999)

and have Fry or Bender fly the ship?

"and have Fry or Bender fly the ship?"

Futurama (1999)

Not if you stand on their air hose much longer.

"Not if you stand on their air hose much longer."

Futurama (1999)

Noted.

"Noted."

Futurama (1999)

My job? Toilets 'n' boilers, boilers 'n' toilets.

"My job? Toilets 'n' boilers, boilers 'n' toilets."

Futurama (1999)

Plus that one boiling toilet.

"Plus that one boiling toilet."

Futurama (1999)

Fire me, iffen you dare.

"Fire me, iffen you dare."

Futurama (1999)

Now, then, while many of you do half-ass jobs

"Now, then, while many of you do half-ass jobs"

Futurama (1999)

and the rest do jobs whose ass ratio ranges from 42% to a mere 11 %,

"and the rest do jobs whose ass ratio ranges from 42% to a mere 11 %,"

Futurama (1999)

only the most pathetically useless employee will be fired today.

"only the most pathetically useless employee will be fired today."

Futurama (1999)

And that employee is. . .

"And that employee is. . ."

Futurama (1999)

Hermes Conrad.

"Hermes Conrad."

Futurama (1999)

What? No way!

"What? No way!"

Futurama (1999)

Hermes, no!

"Hermes, no!"

Futurama (1999)

Yes. My performance review proves the main drag on our profit

"Yes. My performance review proves the main drag on our profit"

Futurama (1999)

is the time I waste on performance reviews.

"is the time I waste on performance reviews."

Futurama (1999)

But you can't fire yourself now.

"But you can't fire yourself now."

Futurama (1999)

I've already notified the central bureaucracy.

"I've already notified the central bureaucracy."

Futurama (1999)

They'll be here two seconds ago.

"They'll be here two seconds ago."

Futurama (1999)

I suppose you're here to tell me to pack it in?

"I suppose you're here to tell me to pack it in?"

Futurama (1999)

I don't think it's appropriate to joke around like that.

"I don't think it's appropriate to joke around like that."

Futurama (1999)

You're right, Hermes.

"You're right, Hermes."

Futurama (1999)

Meet Mark 7-G, the machine who's replacing you.

"Meet Mark 7-G, the machine who's replacing you."

Futurama (1999)

I'm Mark 7-G, the machine who's replacing you.

"I'm Mark 7-G, the machine who's replacing you."

Futurama (1999)

Will you be conducting an exit interview?

"Will you be conducting an exit interview?"

Futurama (1999)

Well, I wouldn't say no to a little friendly debriefing.

"Well, I wouldn't say no to a little friendly debriefing."

Futurama (1999)

Bureaucrat Conrad, you are ordered to relieve yourself of duty.

"Bureaucrat Conrad, you are ordered to relieve yourself of duty."

Futurama (1999)

Sounds like a party.

"Sounds like a party."

Futurama (1999)

Goodbye.

"Goodbye."

Futurama (1999)

Well, this is it.

"Well, this is it."

Futurama (1999)

But I want you to know working here

"But I want you to know working here"

Futurama (1999)

has been the experience of a lifetime.

"has been the experience of a lifetime."

Futurama (1999)

Off you go.

"Off you go."

Futurama (1999)

So, I hear you're a machine. . . Ow!

"So, I hear you're a machine. . . Ow!"

Futurama (1999)

Traitor!

"Traitor!"

Futurama (1999)

My friend's ample tuchus is barely out the door,

"My friend's ample tuchus is barely out the door,"

Futurama (1999)

and you're already schmoozing up to his replacement?

"and you're already schmoozing up to his replacement?"

Futurama (1999)

Um, Zoidberg?

"Um, Zoidberg?"

Futurama (1999)

I don't think Hermes really liked you.

"I don't think Hermes really liked you."

Futurama (1999)

In fact, he hated you more than anyone ever hated anyone.

"In fact, he hated you more than anyone ever hated anyone."

Futurama (1999)

What, you mean the remarks and the hits? That was just friend teasing.

"What, you mean the remarks and the hits? That was just friend teasing."

Futurama (1999)

Oy.

"Oy."

Futurama (1999)

You don't understand.

"You don't understand."

Futurama (1999)

He was the only one who cared enough to insult me.

"He was the only one who cared enough to insult me."

Futurama (1999)

I insult you, you fat sack.

"I insult you, you fat sack."

Futurama (1999)

Sure, when it's convenient. But Hermes was always there for me.

"Sure, when it's convenient. But Hermes was always there for me."

Futurama (1999)

And now he's gone, thanks to you, Mr. Bigshot 7-G.

"And now he's gone, thanks to you, Mr. Bigshot 7-G."

Futurama (1999)

On the bright side, I'll never see Zoidberg again.

"On the bright side, I'll never see Zoidberg again."

Futurama (1999)

There, there, husband. I made your favorite, curried goat.

"There, there, husband. I made your favorite, curried goat."

Futurama (1999)

lt better be spicy.

"lt better be spicy."

Futurama (1999)

Well played.

"Well played."

Futurama (1999)

Ows.

"Ows."

Futurama (1999)

Ah.

"Ah."

Futurama (1999)

Fire.

"Fire."

Futurama (1999)

Not bad. Needs a little hot sauce.

"Not bad. Needs a little hot sauce."

Futurama (1999)

I just don't know how we'll get by.

"I just don't know how we'll get by."

Futurama (1999)

Then I guess this wouldn't be a good time to tell you that I'm pregnant.

"Then I guess this wouldn't be a good time to tell you that I'm pregnant."

Futurama (1999)

What?

"What?"

Futurama (1999)

And you're not the father.

"And you're not the father."

Futurama (1999)

No!

"No!"

Futurama (1999)

I'm just joking, husband.

"I'm just joking, husband."

Futurama (1999)

See now? Things don't seem so bad anymore, do they?

"See now? Things don't seem so bad anymore, do they?"

Futurama (1999)

You're right. Thank you, LaBarbara.

"You're right. Thank you, LaBarbara."

Futurama (1999)

Oh, also, I wrecked the car.

"Oh, also, I wrecked the car."

Futurama (1999)

This here is a mugging ! Hand over your skin.

"This here is a mugging ! Hand over your skin."

Futurama (1999)

My ebony splendor? Me don't think so.

"My ebony splendor? Me don't think so."

Futurama (1999)

For God's sake, woman, just give him your skin !

"For God's sake, woman, just give him your skin !"

Futurama (1999)

Can't you see he's crazy?

"Can't you see he's crazy?"

Futurama (1999)

You calling me crazy?

"You calling me crazy?"

Futurama (1999)

Ain't nothing crazy about me but my brain. Right, brain?

"Ain't nothing crazy about me but my brain. Right, brain?"

Futurama (1999)

Right! No, not you, right brain. Right, left brain? Right!

"Right! No, not you, right brain. Right, left brain? Right!"

Futurama (1999)

Okay, then.

"Okay, then."

Futurama (1999)

Do something, Hermes.

"Do something, Hermes."

Futurama (1999)

Freeze, bagwad.

"Freeze, bagwad."

Futurama (1999)

You're under arrest for attempted epidermicide.

"You're under arrest for attempted epidermicide."

Futurama (1999)

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