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Clips from Broad City (2014) - St. Marks (S02E02)

"(Abbi) don't, it's your birthday, dude."
Broad City (2014)
"I made a reservation and everything"
Broad City (2014)
"and I cannot wait for you to open up this b-day gift."
Broad City (2014)
"I don't know."
Broad City (2014)
"23 is such a nothing birthday, though, you know, like..."
Broad City (2014)
"22, you graduate college."
Broad City (2014)
"21, you're suddenly allowed to be an alcoholic."
Broad City (2014)
"- See? - I guess."
Broad City (2014)
"- Tree man. - Oh, my damn god."
Broad City (2014)
"He needs a little bell."
Broad City (2014)
"Or like, a personal triangle he's playing all the time."
Broad City (2014)
"this like, pricey, high-class wine"
Broad City (2014)
"is setting up your entire year."
Broad City (2014)
"this would be like, 30 bucks."
Broad City (2014)
"I know, I love a "BYOB"."
Broad City (2014)
"I'd wash the dishes if they'd let me."
Broad City (2014)
"restaurants exist at all."
Broad City (2014)
"♪ Four and three and two and one-one ♪♪"
Broad City (2014)
"(Ilana) So, I've been spending all morning writing out my will."
Broad City (2014)
"Okay, you know what?"
Broad City (2014)
"I'm Jewish too."
Broad City (2014)
"just thinking about how they're going to die."
Broad City (2014)
"Come on."
Broad City (2014)
"there is still some value there,"
Broad City (2014)
"Math mind."
Broad City (2014)
"But people get crazy about material possessions"
Broad City (2014)
"Can you please spare a dollar?"
Broad City (2014)
"- Yeah. - I just wanna to get some food."
Broad City (2014)
"Yeah."
Broad City (2014)
"Oh, sorry."
Broad City (2014)
"But you just gave her a buck."
Broad City (2014)
"Actually, we couldn't, because we're going to the meat sack"
Broad City (2014)
"and it's a cash-only restaurant."
Broad City (2014)
"I'm glad we..."
Broad City (2014)
"Michelle, party of two."
Broad City (2014)
"Three, two, one."
Broad City (2014)
"Get the stomach stretched."
Broad City (2014)
"It's like a squirrel clutch with a meatball in it."
Broad City (2014)
"(Woman) Little Wayne, party of two."
Broad City (2014)
"Oh, gosh, so fashion, baby."
Broad City (2014)
"I think it was at our show..."
Broad City (2014)
"It was a long time ago."
Broad City (2014)
"to any of my Facebook, uh, invites."
Broad City (2014)
"Yeah."
Broad City (2014)
"We're so sorry that that happened."
Broad City (2014)
"I was born the day the Challenger exploded."
Broad City (2014)
"Do the ending, do the climax."
Broad City (2014)
"as the lighting here is not good and it's not a theater,"
Broad City (2014)
"Here we go."
Broad City (2014)
"and he's maximum erect."
Broad City (2014)
"Okay, he's standing on a shredded American flag,"
Broad City (2014)
"That's the twist."
Broad City (2014)
"Um, we can push your tables together"
Broad City (2014)
"(Whispering) No, please don't."
Broad City (2014)
"Beep, beep, beep."
Broad City (2014)
"What the heck?"
Broad City (2014)
"What the (Bleep)?"
Broad City (2014)
"We gotta... we have to go."
Broad City (2014)
"We have to go, that's... sorry, everybody."
Broad City (2014)
"Wait, you can't leave with an open container."
Broad City (2014)
"Okay. Okay."
Broad City (2014)
"We will not do that."
Broad City (2014)
"Just do that."
Broad City (2014)
"Yeah."
Broad City (2014)
"(Man) Oh, hey, hey!"
Broad City (2014)
"Where are the leftovers?"
Broad City (2014)
"It was... honestly too annoying."
Broad City (2014)
"We didn't even order."
Broad City (2014)
"I feel bad."
Broad City (2014)
"He probably came out to his family, they kicked him out,"
Broad City (2014)
"Everyone's like, "where's Christina, where's Christina?""
Broad City (2014)
"I can't keep saying you're in the keys at your parents."
Broad City (2014)
"What do you want me to say?"
Broad City (2014)
""Oh, my girlfriend moved out seven weeks ago"
Broad City (2014)
"and I'm falling apart and my dick doesn't work anymore, so... ""
Broad City (2014)
"Christina moved out?"
Broad City (2014)
"What happened with the wigs?"
Broad City (2014)
"Oh..."
Broad City (2014)
"I think the parrot would win."
Broad City (2014)
"God, I have such a wig face."
Broad City (2014)
"Yeah, exactly, I want to look dope as (Bleep) at my funeral."
Broad City (2014)
"You know, like everyone would be really sad,"
Broad City (2014)
"everyone has to go to six flags, my treat."
Broad City (2014)
"How am I going to Bernie you if I'm already dead?"
Broad City (2014)
"No, I'm obviously dying first."
Broad City (2014)
"All right, agree to disagree."
Broad City (2014)
"Oh, my god."
Broad City (2014)
"Challah back, y'all."
Broad City (2014)
"Wigs are 10, shirts are a buck each."
Broad City (2014)
"Oh, so sad. Been there."
Broad City (2014)
"All right, so we can eat as many dumplings as you want..."
Broad City (2014)
"- Thank you. - ... Whatever kind."
Broad City (2014)
"Yeah! Hey, what'd you do?"
Broad City (2014)
"No, it wasn't."
Broad City (2014)
"(Man) Hey, watch it!"
Broad City (2014)
"Oh!"
Broad City (2014)
"come on, (Bleep)hole! Ball sack!"
Broad City (2014)
"Hopefully no one will take that."
Broad City (2014)
"- Okay. - Oh, I have a lot in here."
Broad City (2014)
"- Come on! - All right."
Broad City (2014)
"Okay, he's getting away."
Broad City (2014)
"Okay, here we go, I need just one..."
Broad City (2014)
"I'm gonna go back down through the kitchen,"
Broad City (2014)
"and I'm gonna be so fast,"
Broad City (2014)
"A guy just ran in here."
Broad City (2014)
"He stole it right out of my hand."
Broad City (2014)
"Timothy."
Broad City (2014)
"Timothy!"
Broad City (2014)
"Yeah, it was a (Bleep) joke."
Broad City (2014)
"Chill out."
Broad City (2014)
"Uh, would you..."
Broad City (2014)
"Oh."
Broad City (2014)
"Timothy!"
Broad City (2014)
"What is wrong with you?"
Broad City (2014)
"You're the psychiatrist."
Broad City (2014)
"Or do I need to make an appointment?"
Broad City (2014)
"Maybe you should."
Broad City (2014)
"Having to lie to my friends about"
Broad City (2014)
"but not about anything in your perfect little life."
Broad City (2014)
"Let me tell you something."
Broad City (2014)
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