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Clips from Garth Marenghi's Darkplace - The Creeping Moss from the Shores of Shuggoth (S01E01)

"He whisked off her shoes and panties in one movement, wild like an enraged shark,

""He whisked off her shoes and panties in one movement, wild like an enraged shark,"

Garth Marenghi's Darkplace

"his bulky totem beating a seductive rhythm.

""his bulky totem beating a seductive rhythm."

Garth Marenghi's Darkplace

"Mary's body was burning, though the room was properly air-conditioned.

""Mary's body was burning, though the room was properly air-conditioned."

Garth Marenghi's Darkplace

"Exhausted, they collapsed onto the recently extended sofa bed.

""Exhausted, they collapsed onto the recently extended sofa bed."

Garth Marenghi's Darkplace

although I also pen westerns and erotica to keep my oar in.

"although I also pen westerns and erotica to keep my oar in."

Garth Marenghi's Darkplace

I've always loved the great tragedies - King Lear, Superman II -

"I've always loved the great tragedies - King Lear, Superman II -"

Garth Marenghi's Darkplace

and when I wrote, directed and starred in Darkplace,

"and when I wrote, directed and starred in Darkplace,"

Garth Marenghi's Darkplace

I set out to continue that grand tradition.

"I set out to continue that grand tradition."

Garth Marenghi's Darkplace

Perhaps you're gently petting, having enjoyed a hamper of chilled white wine

"Perhaps you're gently petting, having enjoyed a hamper of chilled white wine"

Garth Marenghi's Darkplace

'You are entering my Darkplace.'

"'You are entering my Darkplace.'"

Garth Marenghi's Darkplace

CHEESY '80S SYNTHESISER MUSIC

"CHEESY '80S SYNTHESISER MUSIC"

Garth Marenghi's Darkplace

Darkplace, Darkplace

"Darkplace, Darkplace"

Garth Marenghi's Darkplace

Ooh! One moment. Nature calls, if you know what I mean.

"Ooh! One moment. Nature calls, if you know what I mean."

Garth Marenghi's Darkplace

I mean, just to think of the er...

"I mean, just to think of the er..."

Garth Marenghi's Darkplace

"I wandered lonely as a cloud That floats on high o'er vales and hills,

""I wandered lonely as a cloud That floats on high o'er vales and hills,"

Garth Marenghi's Darkplace

'I'm Dr Rick Dagless MD.

"'I'm Dr Rick Dagless MD."

Garth Marenghi's Darkplace

'Oould this be linked to the green cloud over the hospital's air vent?

"'Oould this be linked to the green cloud over the hospital's air vent?"

Garth Marenghi's Darkplace

'a courtesy for which they'd yet to thank me.'

"'a courtesy for which they'd yet to thank me.'"

Garth Marenghi's Darkplace

You're welcome.

"You're welcome."

Garth Marenghi's Darkplace

Oh, nothing. Are you asking me out?

"Oh, nothing. Are you asking me out?"

Garth Marenghi's Darkplace

- I'll get a Wimpy. - Your call, Dag.

"- I'll get a Wimpy. - Your call, Dag."

Garth Marenghi's Darkplace

Liz, fancy egg in soup?

"Liz, fancy egg in soup?"

Garth Marenghi's Darkplace

Let's have some sounds. There's a bad atmosphere in here.

"Let's have some sounds. There's a bad atmosphere in here."

Garth Marenghi's Darkplace

MUSIC: '80s SYNTHESISER ROCK

"MUSIC: '80s SYNTHESISER ROCK"

Garth Marenghi's Darkplace

Take off, shove your lovin' in the wheels

"Take off, shove your lovin' in the wheels"

Garth Marenghi's Darkplace

Put the pedal to the floor cos you're heading for the hills

"Put the pedal to the floor cos you're heading for the hills"

Garth Marenghi's Darkplace

Sanch, open the door! Open the door, Sanch! Sanch!

"Sanch, open the door! Open the door, Sanch! Sanch!"

Garth Marenghi's Darkplace

Sorry, Thornton. Bad dream.

"Sorry, Thornton. Bad dream."

Garth Marenghi's Darkplace

There are scenes where you're watching him as much as me.

"There are scenes where you're watching him as much as me."

Garth Marenghi's Darkplace

- Shut your mouth, Liz! - Shut yours, Sanch, that was funny.

"- Shut your mouth, Liz! - Shut yours, Sanch, that was funny."

Garth Marenghi's Darkplace

If we lose our sense of humour in this place, we might as well kill ourselves.

"If we lose our sense of humour in this place, we might as well kill ourselves."

Garth Marenghi's Darkplace

If Won Ton finds out, my arse is grass, and he's got a lawnmower! You dig?

"If Won Ton finds out, my arse is grass, and he's got a lawnmower! You dig?"

Garth Marenghi's Darkplace

'Funny!'

"'Funny!'"

Garth Marenghi's Darkplace

Is that Gavin, the hospital gas expert? ...Can you put Gavin on?

"Is that Gavin, the hospital gas expert? ...Can you put Gavin on?"

Garth Marenghi's Darkplace

Could the gas have contained cosmic fungi and/or spores?

"Could the gas have contained cosmic fungi and/or spores?"

Garth Marenghi's Darkplace

Only if they had been left directly next to an air vent?

"Only if they had been left directly next to an air vent?"

Garth Marenghi's Darkplace

Cheers, Gavin. I owe you a beer.

"Cheers, Gavin. I owe you a beer."

Garth Marenghi's Darkplace

Actually, you owed me one, so we're quits.

"Actually, you owed me one, so we're quits."

Garth Marenghi's Darkplace

She's turning into broccoli.

"She's turning into broccoli."

Garth Marenghi's Darkplace

Here, let me cut up your pork pie.

"Here, let me cut up your pork pie."

Garth Marenghi's Darkplace

I'll get a nurse to help you out of that night dress.

"I'll get a nurse to help you out of that night dress."

Garth Marenghi's Darkplace

I think I'd be more comfortable with a doctor's touch.

"I think I'd be more comfortable with a doctor's touch."

Garth Marenghi's Darkplace

balls, knickers, scrote.

"balls, knickers, scrote."

Garth Marenghi's Darkplace

Broccoli from space. I wondered why it tasted odd.

"Broccoli from space. I wondered why it tasted odd."

Garth Marenghi's Darkplace

- This is serious, Thornton. - Come on, Dag. That was funny.

"- This is serious, Thornton. - Come on, Dag. That was funny."

Garth Marenghi's Darkplace

- That's not all, Reed and Rick. - Isn't it?

"- That's not all, Reed and Rick. - Isn't it?"

Garth Marenghi's Darkplace

This says the broccoli spores can be passed on by the physical act of lovemaking.

"This says the broccoli spores can be passed on by the physical act of lovemaking."

Garth Marenghi's Darkplace

If they have made love, that is.

"If they have made love, that is."

Garth Marenghi's Darkplace

Bang goes my Hippocratic oath.

"Bang goes my Hippocratic oath."

Garth Marenghi's Darkplace

- Have you ever done that before? - What? Making love?

"- Have you ever done that before? - What? Making love?"

Garth Marenghi's Darkplace

With you, it was real. I did it because you're different.

"With you, it was real. I did it because you're different."

Garth Marenghi's Darkplace

that... with... with the AIDS.

"that... with... with the AIDS."

Garth Marenghi's Darkplace

my half-brother, who was such a promising dancer -

"my half-brother, who was such a promising dancer -"

Garth Marenghi's Darkplace

It was us and Princess Di.

"It was us and Princess Di."

Garth Marenghi's Darkplace

Ha-ha.

"Ha-ha."

Garth Marenghi's Darkplace

BOTH EXHALE

"BOTH EXHALE"

Garth Marenghi's Darkplace

Oh, come on.

"Oh, come on."

Garth Marenghi's Darkplace

- Stay holy. - Amen!

"- Stay holy. - Amen!"

Garth Marenghi's Darkplace

I pray that I can pull myself through.

"I pray that I can pull myself through."

Garth Marenghi's Darkplace

And if I'm lucky...

"And if I'm lucky..."

Garth Marenghi's Darkplace

...I answer myself.

"...I answer myself."

Garth Marenghi's Darkplace

Champagne on ice for bed 395 - I want to surprise Linda.

"Champagne on ice for bed 395 - I want to surprise Linda."

Garth Marenghi's Darkplace

Yeah.

"Yeah."

Garth Marenghi's Darkplace

'How can I tell him she's dying? Lt'll tear him apart.'

"'How can I tell him she's dying? Lt'll tear him apart.'"

Garth Marenghi's Darkplace

(Sanch) 'Jesus! Been in the gym.'

"(Sanch) 'Jesus! Been in the gym.'"

Garth Marenghi's Darkplace

Linda's dying. She's turning into broccoli. It's very contagious.

"Linda's dying. She's turning into broccoli. It's very contagious."

Garth Marenghi's Darkplace

- He's out of line. - He's out of line!

"- He's out of line. - He's out of line!"

Garth Marenghi's Darkplace

You're both out of line. I'm not gonna dance for you. I don't have to.

"You're both out of line. I'm not gonna dance for you. I don't have to."

Garth Marenghi's Darkplace

so you'd best hurry up.

"so you'd best hurry up."

Garth Marenghi's Darkplace

But slapping Dag's ass won't bring her back, Annie.

"But slapping Dag's ass won't bring her back, Annie."

Garth Marenghi's Darkplace

If Dag thinks we have to boil her, I'm backing him 110%.

"If Dag thinks we have to boil her, I'm backing him 110%."

Garth Marenghi's Darkplace

But we're more worried about your downstairs area.

"But we're more worried about your downstairs area."

Garth Marenghi's Darkplace

- Olive green. What of it? - We'll have to lop it off.

"- Olive green. What of it? - We'll have to lop it off."

Garth Marenghi's Darkplace

I've had first-hand experience. I lost a ball in Korea. Did the op myself.

"I've had first-hand experience. I lost a ball in Korea. Did the op myself."

Garth Marenghi's Darkplace

It's the only way. Otherwise it'll spread.

"It's the only way. Otherwise it'll spread."

Garth Marenghi's Darkplace

You're not getting my rod without a fight.

"You're not getting my rod without a fight."

Garth Marenghi's Darkplace

The can of film was destroyed in a drink-related misadventure in Fulham.

"The can of film was destroyed in a drink-related misadventure in Fulham."

Garth Marenghi's Darkplace

I hope this does not impair your enjoyment of the drama.

"I hope this does not impair your enjoyment of the drama."

Garth Marenghi's Darkplace

(Dean) 'Don't touch it!'

"(Dean) 'Don't touch it!'"

Garth Marenghi's Darkplace

'but it is now too late for Linda.'

"'but it is now too late for Linda.'"

Garth Marenghi's Darkplace

Hello, Linda.

"Hello, Linda."

Garth Marenghi's Darkplace

Now, I've run some tests.

"Now, I've run some tests."

Garth Marenghi's Darkplace

You're gonna have a long sleep, and you'll wake up right as rain.

"You're gonna have a long sleep, and you'll wake up right as rain."

Garth Marenghi's Darkplace

Sanchez will be with you and you'll have a great future together.

"Sanchez will be with you and you'll have a great future together."

Garth Marenghi's Darkplace

He won't stop talking about you. You've found yourself a good man.

"He won't stop talking about you. You've found yourself a good man."

Garth Marenghi's Darkplace

MONITOR BEEPS

"MONITOR BEEPS"

Garth Marenghi's Darkplace

You're welcome, little man. He's a good kid, but keep him off the smack.

"You're welcome, little man. He's a good kid, but keep him off the smack."

Garth Marenghi's Darkplace

Excuse me.

"Excuse me."

Garth Marenghi's Darkplace

I will not rest until I've found you an adequate replacement.

"I will not rest until I've found you an adequate replacement."

Garth Marenghi's Darkplace

Linda asked me to give you this.

"Linda asked me to give you this."

Garth Marenghi's Darkplace

Thanks, Sanch.

"Thanks, Sanch."

Garth Marenghi's Darkplace

'The broccoli had gone, but the hurt remained - for all of us.

"'The broccoli had gone, but the hurt remained - for all of us."

Garth Marenghi's Darkplace

'That and AIDS. If you want it, wear one - sex, that is, not AIDS. No-one wants AIDS.

"'That and AIDS. If you want it, wear one - sex, that is, not AIDS. No-one wants AIDS."

Garth Marenghi's Darkplace

I wanted to make people laugh and cry

"I wanted to make people laugh and cry"

Garth Marenghi's Darkplace

'We are seeing a dumbing down of television.

"'We are seeing a dumbing down of television."

Garth Marenghi's Darkplace

Literacy, numeracy, the three Ls are in decline.

"Literacy, numeracy, the three Ls are in decline."

Garth Marenghi's Darkplace

I just hope I've changed the way you think about life.

"I just hope I've changed the way you think about life."

Garth Marenghi's Darkplace

'in association with Dean Learner.'

"'in association with Dean Learner.'"

Garth Marenghi's Darkplace

Welcome, friend. I'm Garth Marenghi, horror writer,

"Welcome, friend. I'm Garth Marenghi, horror writer,"

Garth Marenghi's Darkplace

This eve's yarn is an eternal story of love and loss,

"This eve's yarn is an eternal story of love and loss,"

Garth Marenghi's Darkplace

but you don't know that till the end.

"but you don't know that till the end."

Garth Marenghi's Darkplace

along with interviews from me, my publisher Dean Learner and actor Todd Rivers.

"along with interviews from me, my publisher Dean Learner and actor Todd Rivers."

Garth Marenghi's Darkplace

That way you won't have to think for yourselves which is probably safer.

"That way you won't have to think for yourselves which is probably safer."

Garth Marenghi's Darkplace

'I'm Garth Marenghi - author, dream weaver, visionary, plus actor.

"'I'm Garth Marenghi - author, dream weaver, visionary, plus actor."

Garth Marenghi's Darkplace

I forgot to flush! >

"I forgot to flush! >"

Garth Marenghi's Darkplace

Ugh, oh!

"Ugh, oh!"

Garth Marenghi's Darkplace

The script to Shuggoth was based on a sonnet I wrote when I was 16.

"The script to Shuggoth was based on a sonnet I wrote when I was 16."

Garth Marenghi's Darkplace

I get off on language.

"I get off on language."

Garth Marenghi's Darkplace

that poem by Wordsworth...

"that poem by Wordsworth..."

Garth Marenghi's Darkplace

"When all at once I saw a cloud, a host, of gleaming daffodils".

""When all at once I saw a cloud, a host, of gleaming daffodils"."

Garth Marenghi's Darkplace

There weren't even rhyming dictionaries when Bill wrote that. It's very humbling.

"There weren't even rhyming dictionaries when Bill wrote that. It's very humbling."

Garth Marenghi's Darkplace

Garth is the most significant artist I've worked with,

"Garth is the most significant artist I've worked with,"

Garth Marenghi's Darkplace

and I worked with Lulu, and four other people,

"and I worked with Lulu, and four other people,"

Garth Marenghi's Darkplace

so we're talking creme de la creme.

"so we're talking creme de la creme."

Garth Marenghi's Darkplace

'Awoman turned green last night after breathing in a green gas.

"'Awoman turned green last night after breathing in a green gas."

Garth Marenghi's Darkplace

'I was cruising down to Ward B to find out.

"'I was cruising down to Ward B to find out."

Garth Marenghi's Darkplace

'I'd stopped out of my way to give Sanchez and Asher a lift,

"'I'd stopped out of my way to give Sanchez and Asher a lift,"

Garth Marenghi's Darkplace

What are you doing for dinner, Liz?

"What are you doing for dinner, Liz?"

Garth Marenghi's Darkplace

No, just looking for recipe ideas. I'm finding food a real bore.

"No, just looking for recipe ideas. I'm finding food a real bore."

Garth Marenghi's Darkplace

I get a tin of soup, poach an egg in it, serve it with a pork pie and sausage roll.

"I get a tin of soup, poach an egg in it, serve it with a pork pie and sausage roll."

Garth Marenghi's Darkplace

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