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Clips from The Simpsons - The Itchy & Scratchy & Poochie Show (S08E08)

"## [Chorus Singing]"
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"D'oh! [Screams]"
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"of Itchy and Scratchy."
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"An occasional hug is all I ask."
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"Mom! You can hug me when I'm asleep."
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"Hey, Krusty, you look great. You get your teeth bleached?"
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"What happened here? Lightning hit the transmitter?"
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"Acclaimed? [Spits]"
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"I oughta replace it right now with that Chinese cartoon..."
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"where the robots turn into blingwads!"
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"And- I'll come back later."
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"Oh, can't we just wander around and meet you back here later?"
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"Mmm, okay. Just be careful."
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"You know, sometimes it sounds a little like it's sneezing..."
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"[Screams, Groans]"
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"- [All Laughing] - [Knobs Beeping]"
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"to deal with real-life problems like the ones you face every day?"
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"getting into far-out situations involving robots and magic powers?"
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"- Huh. - You kids don't know what you want."
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"It's as good as ever. But after so many years..."
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"What we need is... a new character!"
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"Are you absolutely sure that's wise, sir?"
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"mouse, cat, dog."
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"Uh, a dog? Isn't that a tad predictable?"
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"You've heard the expression "let's get busy.""
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"- I'm fired, aren't I? - Oh, yes."
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"I don't know. Something along the lines of, say, Poochie."
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"- [Door Slams] - So, Poochie okay with everybody?"
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"He was supposed to have attitude!"
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"- That's it. - I love it."
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"Poochie the Dog?"
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"to all the girls out there in radio land."
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"[Rewinding]"
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"That hilarious voice could be your ticket to stardom."
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"Relax, Homer. You'll do fine. I'm June Bellamy."
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"I do the voices of Itchy and Scratchy."
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"[Itchy's Voice] She's a lady all right."
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"Then they doubled it up on the soundtrack. Cheap bastards."
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"It's a terrible strain on the animators' wrists."
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"Hi. Question for Miss Bellamy."
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"I mean, what are we- to believe that this is some sort of a-"
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"[Chuckles] a magic xylophone or something?"
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"Pardon me. Look out. Pardon me. Excuse me. Hot soup."
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"Hi. Kindly make one out to me..."
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"Is this seat taken, little girl?"
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"Shh. Everybody, it's coming on!"
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"Behold the future of comedy. Poochie!"
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"Ah."
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"- ## [Electric Guitar] - Wiggity, wiggity. Word up. Rock on, party."
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"When are they gonna get to the fireworks factory? [Whining]"
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"You, uh, got a beautiful home here."
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"So, it was pretty okay, huh?"
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"Mom, can we go to bed without dinner?"
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"[Thinking] Oh, you don't want to know what I really think."
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"I'm the worst Poochie ever."
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"registering my disgust throughout the world."
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"Hey, I know it wasn't great, but what right do you have to complain?"
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"What? They've given you thousands of hours of entertainment for free."
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"What could they possibly owe you? I mean, if anything, you owe them."
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"have waited impatiently for cracks to appear in the show's hilarious facade."
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"but I have a feeling no children are gonna be crying..."
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"Well, I'd attribute the product failure..."
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"to fundamental shifts in our key demographic..."
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"[Cries] Oh, you gotta stop this thing!"
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"I got it right here."
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"- Three- - Great. Great."
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"Just leave them right there on the floor on your way out."
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"Listen, guys, we've gotta do something about Poochie."
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"Then they said they were gonna kill Poochie off."
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"with a rusty chain saw."
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"No, I am not."
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"Oh, cut, cut, cut, cut."
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"- Do you? - Yes, I certainly do."
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"Hello there, Itchy."
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"and cry till we grow old together."
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"[Screams] Well, look who's here."
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"[Man's Voice] I have to go now. My planet needs me."
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"Hey, that wasn't supposed to happen!"
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"That's why I'm presenting this sworn affidavit..."
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"that Poochie will never, ever, ever return!"
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"Oh, then I guess this is good-bye, Roy."
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"a program of this caliber after so many years."
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"I hope you enjoyed my one-man pie fight, kids."
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"Now it's time for another "fanschmabulous" episode..."
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"[Gasps]"
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"[Sighs]"
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"Kids? Kids?"
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"You're missing the Itchy and Scratchy Show."
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"- Don't you like it anymore? - Sure. We love it."
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"But how can we watch TV when it's so beautiful out?"
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"Yeah, Mom. I mean, we love you and Dad too..."
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"but God knows we don't need to see you every day."
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"- I do. - [Screams]"
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"[Krusty Groaning]"
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"Yeah, it's a new kind of polymer treatment- Hey, shut up!"
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"Look at this breakdown of yesterday's show."
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"See, that's what I thought at first, but then- Hey, shut up!"
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"That crater is where your lousy cartoon crash-landed! It's ratings poison!"
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"But Itchy and Scratchy is critically acclaimed."
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"But I'm a lazy, lazy man, Roger."
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"So I'll give you one more chance."
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"Get out!"
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"[Woman] Okay, Mel, you can go in now."
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"Krusty, I've come to solicit donations for the Rock 'N' Roll Museum."
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"- Sounds good to me. Let's go. - Okay. I guess so."
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"All right, thanks for participating in our focus group, kids."
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"Today we're gonna show you some Itchy and Scratchy cartoons."
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"- [All Cheering] - Cool!"
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"We want you to tell us what you think."
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"And be honest, because no one from the show is here spying on you."
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"- [Man Sneezes] - Why is that mirror sneezing?"
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"Uh, look, it's just an old, creaky mirror."
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"or coughing or talking softly."
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"Now, you each have a knob in front of you."
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"- When you like what you see, turn the knob to the right. - [Beeps]"
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"My knob tastes funny."
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"Please refrain from tasting the knob."
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"## [Cartoon Soundtrack]"
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"[Grunting]"
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"One kid seems to love the Speedo man. What more do they want?"
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