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Clips from Scrubs - Our True Lies (S09E09)

"and saying I'll help them. I can't."
Scrubs
"Yes, that's him."
Scrubs
"It means "ridiculous.""
Scrubs
"You chew on your hair when you lie,"
Scrubs
"I have a patient who had to pee on a ski lift,"
Scrubs
"(MUTTERING)"
Scrubs
"- Me, too. - Me, too."
Scrubs
"Okay, on my mom's side, everyone is a bounty hunter."
Scrubs
"Not so much from my parents, mostly because they think I'm dead."
Scrubs
"when doctors and patients actually got to know each other."
Scrubs
"Back when a man of my color couldn't be a doctor,"
Scrubs
"Strawberry frosting? Nice."
Scrubs
"Use your fingers, Queen Elizabeth."
Scrubs
"Um..."
Scrubs
"No, Cole. Ew!"
Scrubs
"Todd, I'll let you run point on this, but you gotta be cool."
Scrubs
"Now, I gotta tell you that I feel pretty confident"
Scrubs
"(CELL PHONE RINGING)"
Scrubs
"I just don't know what you guys call each other nowadays. What is it?"
Scrubs
"Nicole, I'm gonna run a series of tests on you, but it would help me out a lot"
Scrubs
"My daughter got scared, though,"
Scrubs
"Twenty-eight, 29, 30."
Scrubs
"Shea butter and big, floppy sun hats."
Scrubs
"How come witches never offer me a deal? I'm approachable."
Scrubs
"especially since it's so obvious that Cole is the one who cheated."
Scrubs
"How'd that go for you? Awkward or really awkward?"
Scrubs
"Look, Nicole's colitis is pretty advanced and surgery is too risky"
Scrubs
"Is that a real place? Because I can leave tonight."
Scrubs
"- Lie. - It was a lacrosse initiation."
Scrubs
"- I didn't even want to do it. - My God, your pulse is racing."
Scrubs
"Hey, forget this, man. What about you?"
Scrubs
"In the bathroom taking a leak."
Scrubs
"I'm thinking."
Scrubs
"- You're married? - A little."
Scrubs
"when you decide to trust someone else..."
Scrubs
"Yes, there is, but with your preexisting conditions, surgery could prove fatal."
Scrubs
"...whether you're trusting a patient to respond a certain way..."
Scrubs
"Hi, boys and girls. Anybody admit to anything yet?"
Scrubs
"the geography of a made-up fantasy world I like to call Coxatopia."
Scrubs
"Talk to your lady sidekick. What's the word I'm looking for?"
Scrubs
"She walked in off the street"
Scrubs
"To the Internet!"
Scrubs
"I don't roll like that."
Scrubs
"All right. I'm just trying to make it through the day."
Scrubs
"Too soon? Probably. Look, I'm a jerk. And I'm a mess."
Scrubs
"I can't take this anymore. I have to turn myself in."
Scrubs
"Oh, babe, babe, you don't have to do that."
Scrubs
"do yourself a favor and talk it over with your partner."
Scrubs
"I'll take the fall for you."
Scrubs
"LUCY: You can't let him do this."
Scrubs
"It was me."
Scrubs
"if she found out that you'd already been married once before?"
Scrubs
"Dr. Turk, you were married before?"
Scrubs
"Sheila, just take your butt to where it needs to be and stay there!"
Scrubs
"- Look, Dr. Cox... - Go sit down."
Scrubs
"Actually, it's a lot harder than I thought and I'm having a really tough time."
Scrubs
"Because the one thing you can never run from is how you really feel."
Scrubs
"I love you."
Scrubs
"Carla, calm down, okay? I don't care what Sheila said."
Scrubs
"She's crazy. No, I... What do you..."
Scrubs
"But that..."
Scrubs
"What do you say? 20 bucks a head to keep your mouths shut?"
Scrubs
"All right, follow me to the ATM. Come on."
Scrubs
"There you go. Try not to tell the test that you're in love with it."
Scrubs
"Sorry, dawg. Already called shotgun on the lesbian."
Scrubs
"You can't call shotgun on a person."
Scrubs
"- All right, then. Dibs. - Damn it. Dibs works."
Scrubs
"Hi, I'm Dr. Lesbian, I'll be your lesbian."
Scrubs
"I got it from here, Todd."
Scrubs
"- I said I've got it from here, Todd. - Okay."
Scrubs
"All right, then, gutter scum. I just found this cheat sheet."
Scrubs
"Any of you who left this room during the test, stays."
Scrubs
"The rest of you, get out! Out!"
Scrubs
"that I can maintain a certain level of calm"
Scrubs
"if the owner of this would simply admit to it."
Scrubs
"Anyone?"
Scrubs
"Go ahead and get that."
Scrubs
"Hi, Mom. No, the test isn't over, so I don't know my grade yet."
Scrubs
"I'm so sorry, it's really hard to get her off the phone."
Scrubs
"I get that. My mom's the same way."
Scrubs
"Let me see this."
Scrubs
"That works."
Scrubs
"I found this cheat sheet in the unisex bathroom just outside this hall."
Scrubs
"So, either we have a Matt Damon-type custodian"
Scrubs
"with an extensive knowledge of the central nervous system,"
Scrubs
"or one of you cheated."
Scrubs
"And since just last week I saw one of our fine janitors eat a piece of chalk,"
Scrubs
"I'm guessing the latter."
Scrubs
"Here's the deal. You're all going to be locked in this room"
Scrubs
"I hope you all think long and hard about what you've done."
Scrubs
"No, no, no, no, no. Butch, this happened on your watch."
Scrubs
"- You're not going anywhere. - Would it make any difference"
Scrubs
"if I told you I have a personal issue"
Scrubs
"that makes staying in here really horrible for me?"
Scrubs
"It would make me quite a bit happier."
Scrubs
"Ha."
Scrubs
"- Beth, this is Dr. Turk. - How are you doing?"
Scrubs
"She must be your lady friend, huh? Your lover."
Scrubs
"(CHUCKLES)"
Scrubs
"I don't even know why I whispered that."
Scrubs
"Are you uncomfortable around lesbians?"
Scrubs
"What? Me? No."
Scrubs
"if you could tell me what type of stomach pain you were having."
Scrubs
"It's not that bad, really."
Scrubs
"The truth is Beth wanted me to get checked out."
Scrubs
"We're going on vacation next week to lbiza with a bunch of our girlfriends."
Scrubs
"And all we do is dance, drink and, uh, swim."
Scrubs
"(STUTTERING) Are you okay, Dr. Turk?"
Scrubs
"Yeah, I'm fine. I was just thinking about my family vacation to Ohio."
Scrubs
"Yeah, we, uh..."
Scrubs
"We visited two science centers and it was a lot of fun."
Scrubs
"so we had to spend most of the time in the car."
Scrubs
"It was pretty awesome."
Scrubs
"Damn, Trang, you are impervious to pain."
Scrubs
"Pay up, bitch."
Scrubs
"Dr. Cox has to let us out eventually."
Scrubs
"I mean, he can't keep us here forever. Can he?"
Scrubs
"What's your secret?"
Scrubs
"Oh, and I made a deal with a witch."
Scrubs
"Drew, come on, just admit you cheated. It's okay."
Scrubs
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