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Clips from South Park - Up the Down Steroid (S08E08)

"Timmy!!!"
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"Dude. I can't believe they exploit handicapped people like this."
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"...six!..."
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"Usss-usss-seven!"
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"Oh hey hey, n-Nathan."
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"What kind of shortcuts?"
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"...But aren't those illegal?"
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"three times a day"
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"Dude, I was just looking at the Special Olympics brochure, and check this shit out:"
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"So?"
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"If somebody just pretended to be mentally handicapped they could easily win the competition and get the thousand bucks!"
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"It's flawless! I'll act like I have a disability, and when the time come to compete I'll kick ass against all the handicappeds!"
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"Cartman! I will not stand by and let you cheat your way to winning the Special Olympics!"
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"Because."
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"Is that really how you deal with your problems?! Grow up, Kyle!"
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"It won't be easy, but nothing worth having ever is."
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"Darrrr. Durrrr. I wanna be in the Special Olympics."
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"Bull's eye!"
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"Hang on, I'm I'm, coming."
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"God damn you!"
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"What??"
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"and you'll never get your mom to agree to something so horrible, so HA!"
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"Um, okay. This is goin' ta sound a little strange. Um, but, stick with me. Um, moommm?"
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"God, this is gonna be hard to say."
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"now I'm starting to think... that if I could just spend one day in their shoes,"
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"Timmih..."
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"Timmih."
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"T... T-Timmih."
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"Look, it's my body and it's my choice what I put in it!"
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"Jimmih!"
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"I'm just trying to k-keep up."
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"Wohuhow, Jimmy, I can't believe how much you've improved You're bigger and stronger than I've ever seen you!"
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"Okay, next in line please?"
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"Naaaa! Daaaaa!"
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"Oh, great! What's his name?"
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"Okay. Age?"
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"Ohhh, oh. I'm not sure."
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"Oh, Jimmy Valmer! Oh, okay, what about him?"
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"Timmih! Timmih, uh, Jimmih."
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"Uh."
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"One Thousand Dollars"
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"Um, the thing is, you really have kind a warped view on morality because you're Jewish."
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"Now, Kyle, you haven't gone to see Mel Gibson's film, The Passion but-"
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"I didn't come here to talk about The Passion, Cartman!"
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"That being the case, it is actually me who is worried about your soul."
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"Good luck."
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"You're not leaving me! You try to leave me and I'll kill you, bitch!"
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"You just keep your G-Goddamned mouth shut and do what you're t-t-t-uh-tol-told!"
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"What the?"
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"Whoa. What the hell??"
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"Great job, everyone."
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"All right!"
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"Good Job."
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"Yeah! Yeah!"
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"Ladies and Gentlemen, our day of competition has come to an end,"
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"Here to present the award are baseball legends Mark McGuire, Jason Giambi, and Barry Bonds."
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"Ah, screw you hippie!"
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"Uh, Drrrr! Drrrr!"
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"Hey! Just what the hell do you think you're doing, Eric?!"
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"Timmih!"
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"I've been using st-steroids I was willing to do anything to be the best,"
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"Taking steroids is just like pretending to be handicapped at the Special Olympics."
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"big fat p-p... p... pussy, and if you take steroids, the only decent thing to do is come forward and say,"
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"Hey kid. Good for you for being honest."
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"Word is we have a lot of ssstiff competition this year."
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"Well all right, we'll see you on Saturday, guys."
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"I mean making them compete against each other just for our amusement."
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"...You're an asshole, Cartman."
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"What? What did I do?"
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"Usss-usss-seven!"
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"Timmih. Timmih!"
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"Timmih! Timmiiih!"
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"Ni-I can'- I can't!"
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"Huff. Oh man."
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"Gee whiz, Timmy. It looks like we have some ppppretty stiff competition this year."
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"All of the special athletes seem to be in tip-top condition, and I can't even get past seven ru-reps"
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"Huhh oh well, that's it for me, Timmy. I'm p-p... p-pooped. I'll see you in the locker room."
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"Otimmih."
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"Hey Jimmy, g-good luck on Saturday."
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"You too, Francis."
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"Hey Jimmy."
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"So uh, I see you train pretty hard."
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"Yeah, it sure is tough."
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"I'm training really hard, but I'm not improvingfast enough, and the Special Olympics are a... week away."
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"Wellll, maybe I can- help you out You know, there are shortcuts."
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"Yeah, sure, but these are new. They don't show up in our urine tests."
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"So uh, ha-how do they... w-wwork?"
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"You just take one of these little blue babies"
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"and inject this directly into your bloodstream"
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"How much would this cost me?"
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"Ahhh it isn't cheap. I've gotta keep vice off my back and secure shipments from overseas."
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"Well... then maybe I'll just use them a-al-little bit. You know, as a per-formance en... hancer."
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"Oh, whatever you say, Jimmy my friend."
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"Whatever you say."
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"YOU GUYS! YOU GUYS! I have the best idea ever! I'm gonna be rich!"
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"What?"
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""At the end of the Special Olympics, a Grand Champion Special Athlete is crowned and given a cash prize of $1000""
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"So?? So dude, think about it."
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"Oh no. Cartman, no!"
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"That's really, really terrible, dude."
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"Terrible?? Whatever! You guys's brains just can't compute complex plans like mine can! It'll work, you'll see."
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"Why?"
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"What are you gonna do, Kyle? Tell on me?"
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"Then you'll be a great big no-good double-faced poopy-pants tattle-tale!"
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"All I have to do is make people think I'm handicapped, and I get a thousand dollars."
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"Oh! Agh! Just, just a second!"
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"I said I'm coming! Give me a Goddamned s-second!"
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"Jimmy, were you masturbating?"
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"Nn-no, Dad."
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"Okay. Well, you have a visitor."
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"Hi Jimmy."
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"Oh. Hi, N-N-Nancy."
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"I was hoping we would study for the spelling test tomorrow."
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"Oh. Sure thing. Come on in."
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"I didn't know you had a girlfriend, Jim."
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"Yeah, Dad. We've been going out since we met in Free Period last week."
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"I'll leave you two alone."
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"Y- you sure you weren't masturbating Jim? It's okay if you were."
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"Dad, Jesus C-Christ!"
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"Okay then."
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