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Clips from South Park - Follow That Egg (S09E09)

"You can't get married! You're faggots!"
South Park
"Oh, Jezuth Christh."
South Park
"Mr. Slave, I am legally a woman now! If you wanna get married, you have to marry ME!"
South Park
"Oh that's not true! Colorado is about to pass a bill which allows same-sex marriage."
South Park
"Oh, that's just great! They're gonna let queers and homos get married, huh?!"
South Park
"Okay, that's enough. Out, Mr. Garrison."
South Park
"We'll just see about this, you fudge-packin' fags!!"
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"Oh my God, you're just saying that because you're jealous."
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"Jealous of what?! I'm doin' this out of principle! To protect the sanctity of marriage!"
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"Hello? Oh hey dude."
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"Uh huh..."
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"I don't think it's gonna be that hard to keep it from breaking. This whole assignment is stupid."
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"Yeah, well, so is your hat"
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"Stan, I need you to watch the egg for a while."
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"I can't. I'm busy."
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"Stan, this is our egg. We're both supposed to take care of it."
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"Well maybe I didn't want to have an egg with you, okay Bebe?!"
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"We're going to get graded together! It's your egg too!"
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"These homosexuals think they can just step all over our traditions!"
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"Well I say: Marriage is a holy sacrament between a man and a woman!"
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"Who is that lady?"
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"They passed this law behind our back!"
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"We need to tell the governor and the world that gay marriage is not okay!"
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"And there is only one way for us, all together, to make that messeage very clear!"
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"We need to round up three or four queers and beat the livin' hell out of them!"
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"Come on, everybody! Let's get some queers, and some trucks, and have us a good old-fashioned fag drag!"
South Park
"Well uh, we were thinkin' we would, you know, just go appeal to the Governor"
South Park
"Appeal to the Governor? Oh,come on! Where's your balls?! Fag drag!"
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"Yeah, we were just thinkin' o' goin' and askin' the Governor to veto the bill."
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"Yeah !"
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"Eh fah, fag drag?"
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"Governor, we have collected over one thousand signatures requesting that you veto this gay-marriage bill!"
South Park
"Oh jeez, I knew this would happen."
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"First the gay people come in here wanting equal rights,"
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"then this bill gets passed and now all the people against it want me to veto it"
South Park
"Why do I have to make this decision??"
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"Because you're the governor?"
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"I just wanted a big house and lots of respect. I didn't want this kind of responsibility"
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"I mean, I don't know anything about gay marriage. What argument can I use to deny them their right to a family?"
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"Well, think of the children!"
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"If you allow gays to get married, then you're also givin' them full rights as parents to adopt."
South Park
"You think kids can be raised by queers??"
South Park
"But, if you had such a study, a scientific study which proved same-sex couples are incapable of raising a child..."
South Park
"Oh great. It's a pretty easy project. Kyle's really good with the egg."
South Park
"I wish I had a partner like Kyle!"
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"I went to go pick up the egg from Stan yesterday, and his dog had it in its mouth!"
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"Our egg isn't gonna last a week with Stan around!"
South Park
"Okay, students, change of plan!"
South Park
"Wendy and Kyle will no longer be together."
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"Let's see what happens when we put two same-sex couples together to take care of an egg, shall we?!"
South Park
"Come on, Bebe. We'll take your egg for you and Wendy to look after."
South Park
"Oh goodie."
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"And we'll just take this egg for Stan and Kyle to look out for."
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"No. No, that's my egg."
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"Wendy, we're doing an experiment."
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"Here you go, boys."
South Park
"Hoh now, what makes you say that, Wendy? I'm sure two boys can handle an egg just fine..."
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"And if not, we'll certainly prove a point to that goddamned Govermor, won't we?"
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"Never mind, just carry on, children. Just carry on as two reckless little boys will."
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"Okay, there. Now we can carry this egg around in this case without it getting cracked."
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"All right, give it to me. I'll take it home tonight."
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"Look, Stan, you want me to just take care of this egg?"
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"Why do you say that?"
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"That's because I was pissed off!"
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"At who?"
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"Hang on."
South Park
"I wanna see my egg."
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"Huh?"
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"Wendy, it isn't your egg anymore!"
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"Well, you might have made it, but we're the ones who are taking care of it now."
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"You have your own egg to look out for!"
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"...I just wanna hold my egg for a couple of minutes."
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"Don't let anything happen to it, please."
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"Our egg is fine."
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"Okay, Annie and Timmy?"
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"Powder and Kenny?"
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"Now how about our gay couples? Stan and Kyle?"
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"No problems at all!"
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"That's impossible!"
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"Are you sure you didn't break it and switch eggs on me?! Where's my signature?!"
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"Dude, it's totally fine."
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"It isn't fine! It has two daddies! You call that fine?!"
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"It may be fine on the outside, but inside it's confused and embarrassed!"
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"Look at the freak egg! It has two daddies!"
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"Two daaadies! Two daaadies!"
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"Come on, class, let's rip on the freek egg! Two daaadies! Two daaadies!"
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"Tom, I'm standing outside the Governor's office, where in just two days,"
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"the Governor can either sign or veto the new bill allowing gay marriage."
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"Same-sex couples from all over the state have shown up in support,"
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"while dissenters have also converged. The governor is about to give a statement."
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"I believe that I might have come up with a compromise to this whole problem that will make everyone happy!"
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"People in the gay community want the same rights as married couples, but dissenters don't want the word "marriage" corrupted."
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"So how about we let gay people get married, but call it something else?"
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"You homosexuals will have all the exact same rights as married couples,"
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"but instead of refering to you as "maarriied," you can be... butt buddies."
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"Instead of being "man and wife," you'll be... butt buddies."
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"You won't be "betrothed," you'll be... butt buuuddies. Get it?"
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"It's just that instead of getting "engaged," you would be... butt buuuddies."
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"And everyone is happy!"
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"Well what about lesbians?!"
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"Well like anyone cares about fuckin' dykes."
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"Oh, God, I was sure that would work."
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"Damnit, damnit! Stan and Kyle's egg is still doin' fine!"
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"Those little assholes are screwin' up my entire plan!"
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"Yes, what?!"
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"What the hell is this?!"
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"I broke the egg."
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"tried to seal it with a soldering gun, but, I give up. I can't hide it, I broke the egg."
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"Did you tell anyone else about this?"
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"Did you tell your egg partner, Heidi?"
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"No. That's why I'm here. I think you should still give Heidi an A on the project."
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"You see, I broke the egg, not her."
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"which means that together the grade should average out to C minus for both of us."
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"I can't do that, Eric!"
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"Damnit! I knew you'd say that! You always have it out for me!"
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"You have to get an A, Eric. Here: I'll sign this new egg for you."
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"We'll pretend this never happened, all right?"
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"Just... put on the old hair, color in the same eyes... There we go, good as new."
South Park
"Go enjoy the rest of your recess."
South Park
"Mr. Garrison..., you've never been this cool to me before."
South Park
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