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Clips from 30 Rock - St. Patrick's Day (S06E06)

"I'm sure you know the story of St. Patrick,"
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"I'm going to have to stop you right there, father,"
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"and St. Patrick didn't drive anything out of anywhere."
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"He might as well have been born in a grave."
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"His only worldly possession was no snakes."
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"But he turned that..."
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"Into sainthood, a holiday,"
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"this magnificent cathedral."
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"He was just some guy"
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"Exactly like me."
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"to take nothing and turn it into..."
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"Out! Now!"
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"Look, Liz, there's something I've got to tell you."
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"I know, and I am not letting you..."
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"We just got back from Seaworld yesterday,"
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"and I know this is hard for you to hear..."
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"Yeah, it's so hard for me to hear about your "wife.""
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"I'm so jealous."
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"I would have got here sooner,"
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"but I passed out laughing on 69th Street."
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"That's hilarious, Megs. What's up, sugar?"
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"Wait a minute, Megan is real?"
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"That's why I said I loved you."
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"I was trying to call your bluff."
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"You know, that's really messed up, Liz."
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"Okay."
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"You got two minutes to fill a sock with quarters,"
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"My God, stop it, no more of this Irish nonsense."
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"Dennis, you came in here, possibly as part of a curse,"
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"and ruined everything!"
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"If anyone's full of Irish nonsense, it's you."
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"- Excuse me? - Think about it."
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"You're the one that got all emotional"
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"and made a fool of herself at a party."
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"This wasn't a party."
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"Tell me about it. It sucked."
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"Look, you're stubborn, you hold grudges,"
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"and hasn't said "I love you" yet."
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"Really? Not even on a Ferris wheel?"
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"Happy St. Patrick's day, dummy."
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"Wait, it's St. Patrick's day?"
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"St. Patrick's day, baby."
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"The first car is here"
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"for whichever one of you wants to leave first."
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"Why do I keep doing this stuff?"
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"Is 70 not a good IQ?"
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"Well, the bigger star gets the first car."
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"But the sign says it's for host number two."
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"I'm scared 'cause..."
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"Tell me about it. A year ago, I won an Oscar."
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"Now look at me."
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"And it did not go well."
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"When I was a kid,"
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"you could get a prostitute for $5."
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"You know what?"
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"Aww."
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"Know this, Hazel. I will always be here..."
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"To purchase a fire spell."
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"Against myself."
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"I am setting fire to my own desert."
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"- You're insane! - Am I?"
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"I'm going to turn my desert into glass,"
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"and glass is a commodity that you all need,"
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"for your elfin oracle mirrors,"
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"for your crystal palace,"
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"for the colorful glass beads"
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"that you keep buying for some reason."
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"And I'll take your gold..."
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"And eventually, the throne of 1,000 kings."
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"You see, it doesn't matter"
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"if I'm on the wind-blown dunes of Kroth"
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"of 30 Rockefeller Plaza."
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"I will create something"
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"Your highness, you may take your right as king."
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"All right, mustard only."
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"These are the only green things I own."
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"More importantly, I have never been with someone"
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"for longer than nine months."
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"You'll tell me you believe in ghosts,"
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"or I'll reveal that I am terrible"
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"But it's not because I don't have them."
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"on St. Patrick's day when we talk about our feelings?"
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"I don't understand your art, Kevin."
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"But this isn't fair to you, Criss."
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"and tell you stuff."
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"Like, nice stuff. Like..."
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"You're right there, buddy."
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"Come on."
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"I love you."
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"You solo-ed me."
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"Thanks, host number one."
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"Let's take a look at what's happening live"
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"in Rockefeller Plaza."
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"I love you."
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"That is a person named Liz Lemon"
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"who just told some dude she loves him."
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"Well, I have known her for a long time and she never said that before."
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"****"
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"Also, TV viewers liked when in a show is a song."
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"Don't you dare fade out on me."
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"Tracy, Jenna."
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"We all know what happen"
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"when you hosted the St. Patrick's day parade"
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"Wake up, mother-."
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"And when you hosted two years ago."
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"Why didn't you ever call me back?"
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"Unfortunately, unless Harry's law"
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"really took off this week and no one told me,"
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"you two are the biggest stars at the network."
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"will be scripted and on prompter."
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"Do not deviate from the script."
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"Jack, Tracy and I are total pros."
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"On television,"
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"and when it comes to the assisted suicide debate."
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"Hazel, I won't be here tomorrow,"
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"so... I wanted to give you this."
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"Well, don't worry about the parade."
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"I'll take care of Tracy and Jenna"
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"Which is a bad example,"
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"because I left my kids at a sears in 2004."
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