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Clips from The Simpsons - The Great Wife Hope (S21E21)

"There's no better violence than self-inflicted violence."
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"I'll remember this day on my deathbed."
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"Sir, could you sign my program with a swear word?"
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"Maybe I was promoted to green belt too early."
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"Where's your brother?"
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"Bart Simpson!"
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"Kill, kill, kill, kill!"
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"Kill, kill, kill, kill!"
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"Not frisbee."
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"- Oh, my god. - Ooh, so violent."
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"- Bumped his nose! - Oh, he hit him."
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"This goes on for a while."
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"Call me a killjoy,"
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"You love Ultimate Punching even more than I do."
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"- Glad you didn't come cheap. - I couldn't help it!"
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"Oh, what else could it be?"
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"That woman has natural breasts."
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"needs the space tomorrow."
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"Chett, I'm here to ask you one simple thing:"
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"Good one! Zing!"
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"I know the woman I loved is still in there somewhere,"
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"I'd like to order two gazelles, an impala,"
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"Buchanan, Fillmore, Pierce, Bush, Bush--"
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"Knickerbocker knucklebreaker! And so on."
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"Why'd you shoot 'em off now?"
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"I'm well aware of the situation."
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"Dad, I keep telling you, that won't work."
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"Marge, I tried my best to talk you out of this."
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"- In this corner, weighing in at... - Nobody needs to know that!"
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"And four obtuse angles over, weighing in at 115 pounds,"
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"That's... my... son."
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"Don't make me break your arm!"
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"Really? Ooh, thank you."
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"I only agreed to this fight because I wanted to stop the violence."
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"You're on."
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""The Great Wife Hope""
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"Yes!"
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"Oh, Marge, how did you ever come up with an idea like "crazy bowling"?"
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"I Googled"
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""Girls having fun," and after wading through 97,000 pages of porn,"
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"I found "crazy bowling.""
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"Hmm, that's odd."
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"There isn't a single man in this whole bowling alley."
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"The pin!"
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"It's pretty sad when I can't pick up a guy on super nacho Tuesday."
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"Where'd they all go?"
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"Oh, you know men-- probably at a baseball game or a bar."
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"Come on, you pansies!"
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"I've seen fiercer fights in parliament!"
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"Yes, what is this, prime minister's question time?"
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"Yeah, is it that?"
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"Thanks for bringing me here, dad."
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"Not everyone has a deathbed, son. You could die suddenly."
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"Wow. Maybe some punk kid will shoot me to get into a gang."
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"Maybe."
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"Three hours of half-naked guys fighting like animals."
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"Just like the ancient romans."
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"Yeah, except their empire was falling apart."
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"Stupid romans."
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"Ask him."
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"Uh, yes, filthy but obscure with a subtle scatological undertone."
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"Sure, no problem. $25, please."
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"Pay the man, boy."
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"Now, listen, son,"
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"I know we saw some awesome beat-downs tonight,"
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"but remember: Don't try this at home."
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"Do it at the schoolyard."
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"Someplace where, if you get hurt, we can sue not just them"
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"but the school, the county, the state, and that jackass Joe Biden."
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"Python neck clinch and... Out."
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"Next victim."
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"Here we go."
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"I don't know, chasing ducks, buried alive?"
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"He'll be missed. Let's move, I got to collect pine cones."
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"Die, die, die!"
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"Just follow the dies, mom."
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"Why me?"
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"Why me?!"
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"I'm glad your father isn't here to see this."
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"Kill, kill, kill, kill!"
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"Bart, let him go."
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"But mom, I'm winning."
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"Look at this-- his lunch money."
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"God didn't give you legs so you could use them as scissors."
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"Well, I was just doing the moves I learned from Ultimate Punching."
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"Ultimate Punching?!"
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""Ultimate" makes everything worse."
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"- Otto, don't you have a sack to hacky? - Indeed I do."
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"One... Aw, I messed up."
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"One... Aw, I messed up."
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"Okay, I'm going to put a stop to this Ultimate Punching."
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"You can't stop an entire sport."
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"You'd need several other mothers,"
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"some sympathetic school officials and clergymen..."
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"A place to meet... Some snacks..."
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"- What else? - A phone tree is invaluable."
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"How you fixed for staplers?"
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"Those fliers don't stick to phone poles by themselves, you know."
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"Nelson, you really have a knack for this."
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"Well, when I grow up,"
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"I hope to go into event planning."
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"Oh, maybe someday you can do Lisa's wedding."
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"Oh, I'd like that."
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"but I think that because this is not to my taste,"
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"no one else should be able to enjoy it."
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"Mom, don't do this."
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"This sport is as fun for me as having kids is for you."
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"Tell her, dad."
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"Ultimate Punching is exploitative, violent,"
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"and a bad influence on our young people."
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"Studies have shown your mother is right."
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"What the...?"
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"Chocolate, whipped cream, cherries..."
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"She got to you with a piece of black forest cake."
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"It wasn't just a piece, it was the whole cake!"
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"Frosting like snow on the eaves of a bavarian castle!"
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"She knew my one weakness-- that I'm weak!"
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"One, two, we say boo!"
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"Three, four, stop the gore!"
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"Five, six, who's got tix?"
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