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Clips from Community - Football, Feminism and You (S01E01)

- Black hole. - Right!

"- Black hole. - Right!"

Community

- Just like my Weiner. - Ha ha.

"- Just like my Weiner. - Ha ha."

Community

Well, we are missing a pipsqueak,

"Well, we are missing a pipsqueak,"

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Um, Pierce, that's the dean.

"Um, Pierce, that's the dean."

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It's all right. Don't let me interrupt.

"It's all right. Don't let me interrupt."

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Yeah. My idea.

"Yeah. My idea."

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Troy, all of your friends are lining up

"Troy, all of your friends are lining up"

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How about you?

"How about you?"

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Troy isn't interested in football anymore.

"Troy isn't interested in football anymore."

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Whoa! Yoko Ono much?

"Whoa! Yoko Ono much?"

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No offense, but I was the best,

"No offense, but I was the best,"

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All right, well, uh... If you change your mind,

"All right, well, uh... If you change your mind,"

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- Uh, Britta? - Oh, no, I don't have to go.

"- Uh, Britta? - Oh, no, I don't have to go."

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If it's important to Shirley, I'll go with her next time.

"If it's important to Shirley, I'll go with her next time."

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Nothing says, "I'm a pig", like you.

"Nothing says, "I'm a pig", like you."

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I can lay low for an episode.

"I can lay low for an episode."

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You sure you made the right call on the football team, Troy?

"You sure you made the right call on the football team, Troy?"

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a little more astronomy later, right?

"a little more astronomy later, right?"

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Hi!

"Hi!"

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No, you're not an idiot.

"No, you're not an idiot."

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I had my blinker on about five minutes,

"I had my blinker on about five minutes,"

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Maybe he had his blinker on too.

"Maybe he had his blinker on too."

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Thanks for offering to help design the new mascot.

"Thanks for offering to help design the new mascot."

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I, uh, have been a little stumped.

"I, uh, have been a little stumped."

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By the way, I took the liberty

"By the way, I took the liberty"

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If we are the "Human Beings", you know,

"If we are the "Human Beings", you know,"

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So... black?

"So... black?"

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No. No, because we're not the "Greendale Blacks",

"No. No, because we're not the "Greendale Blacks","

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Mr. Hawthorne, or the "Greendale Asians"

"Mr. Hawthorne, or the "Greendale Asians""

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or any other creed.

"or any other creed."

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You're a very photogenic man.

"You're a very photogenic man."

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Can I? Oh, it's crispy.

"Can I? Oh, it's crispy."

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Where's the different poster design?

"Where's the different poster design?"

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about declining that offer.

"about declining that offer."

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I think if you said, "jump," he'd say, "how high?'

"I think if you said, "jump," he'd say, "how high?'"

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but we should send those out to local businesses.

"but we should send those out to local businesses."

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Are you trying to blackmail me?

"Are you trying to blackmail me?"

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I think so.

"I think so."

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Oh, are you going to the bathroom?

"Oh, are you going to the bathroom?"

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That's not the right answer.

"That's not the right answer."

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I'll bring him back.

"I'll bring him back."

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I miss having a coach.

"I miss having a coach."

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You still know what to think, Troy.

"You still know what to think, Troy."

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after the dean talked to you about football,

"after the dean talked to you about football,"

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you and I were thinking the same thing.

"you and I were thinking the same thing."

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Really? Name one.

"Really? Name one."

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- Who's your favorite player? - Me.

"- Who's your favorite player? - Me."

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The dome arrives later. It comes with thunder.

"The dome arrives later. It comes with thunder."

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I drive through downtown past the courthouse

"I drive through downtown past the courthouse"

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I'm locked out of my old kingdom.

"I'm locked out of my old kingdom."

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You're saying I could be a lawyer.

"You're saying I could be a lawyer."

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I'd tell you to do the math, but math isn't important.

"I'd tell you to do the math, but math isn't important."

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The only thing that's important is this.

"The only thing that's important is this."

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Annie said that Benjamin Button was compelling.

"Annie said that Benjamin Button was compelling."

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But this decision has to be yours, T-Bone.

"But this decision has to be yours, T-Bone."

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And this decision has to be yes.

"And this decision has to be yes."

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Your name... begins...

"Your name... begins..."

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with "T".

"with "T"."

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but apparently, I failed yesterday's tryouts

"but apparently, I failed yesterday's tryouts"

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because she and I want makeovers.

"because she and I want makeovers."

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That is the ladies' room, Britta,

"That is the ladies' room, Britta,"

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a place where ladies go to share, listen,

"a place where ladies go to share, listen,"

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And I like you too.

"And I like you too."

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I don't even know how it started.

"I don't even know how it started."

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In there.

"In there."

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Troy, I've been waiting for an hour.

"Troy, I've been waiting for an hour."

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Have you been playing football?

"Have you been playing football?"

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is that I'm at the center of it.

"is that I'm at the center of it."

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Troy! Stop!

"Troy! Stop!"

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Don't become this person again.

"Don't become this person again."

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for non-superficial reasons

"for non-superficial reasons"

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but weren't allowed to say anything

"but weren't allowed to say anything"

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Football is bad for you, Troy.

"Football is bad for you, Troy."

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Jeff... what now?

"Jeff... what now?"

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That's my name.

"That's my name."

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I think if we add in a little bit of Phylicia Rashad

"I think if we add in a little bit of Phylicia Rashad"

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That beige is a little light.

"That beige is a little light."

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Yeah. Yeah.

"Yeah. Yeah."

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No stereotypical identifiers from any race or gender.

"No stereotypical identifiers from any race or gender."

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What do you think?

"What do you think?"

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I think not being racist is the new racism.

"I think not being racist is the new racism."

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So... Troy is gonna play football.

"So... Troy is gonna play football."

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No. I won't mail these out, but they are staying with me

"No. I won't mail these out, but they are staying with me"

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Here it is. Still hot.

"Here it is. Still hot."

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I'm not having a conversation with someone

"I'm not having a conversation with someone"

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Because I'm right?

"Because I'm right?"

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Look... the dean has pictures of me, okay?

"Look... the dean has pictures of me, okay?"

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Because I'm telling him what kind of friend you really are.

"Because I'm telling him what kind of friend you really are."

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or were you worried that might freak him out?

"or were you worried that might freak him out?"

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And don't bother trying that thing that women do

"And don't bother trying that thing that women do"

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But I'm here...

"But I'm here..."

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Why do we inflict so much pain on ourselves

"Why do we inflict so much pain on ourselves"

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Now he'll have his pick of the litter and...

"Now he'll have his pick of the litter and..."

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that's him failing your standards.

"that's him failing your standards."

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Oh, yes, you did!

"Oh, yes, you did!"

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in high school.

"in high school."

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There was a scout coming to the final game at Riverside

"There was a scout coming to the final game at Riverside"

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But when you showed me that field,

"But when you showed me that field,"

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There is nowhere to go but up.

"There is nowhere to go but up."

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I don't know about you, but I know I ended up here

"I don't know about you, but I know I ended up here"

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Look, I'm, uh... I'm really sorry about before.

"Look, I'm, uh... I'm really sorry about before."

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Mm. Okay, maybe I was a little more wrong.

"Mm. Okay, maybe I was a little more wrong."

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I mean, it's not like

"I mean, it's not like"

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He can't move his mouth either.

"He can't move his mouth either."

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Let's get you into the pep rally!

"Let's get you into the pep rally!"

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Great idea. Let's do it!

"Great idea. Let's do it!"

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We've solved racism. What's next?

"We've solved racism. What's next?"

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to be a uniquely Greendale experience.

"to be a uniquely Greendale experience."

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- A white dwarf. - That's right!

"- A white dwarf. - That's right!"

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I used a memory technique.

"I used a memory technique."

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Dwarves hate being called midgets,

"Dwarves hate being called midgets,"

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and midgets are small.

"and midgets are small."

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And...

"And..."

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What does a star turn into after it collapses?

"What does a star turn into after it collapses?"

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A movie of the week.

"A movie of the week."

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Troy! You could be an astronomer.

"Troy! You could be an astronomer."

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As far as I'm concerned,

"As far as I'm concerned,"

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there's only one black hole worth studying.

"there's only one black hole worth studying."

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It's called Sagittarius A,

"It's called Sagittarius A,"

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it's located in the center of our galaxy,

"it's located in the center of our galaxy,"

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