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Clips from The Simpsons - Principal Charming (S02E02)

"Hello, Marge."
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"Say when."
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"He knows everything."
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"-He'll never get away with it. -He just goes too far."
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"Simpson!"
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"The question is, who's this and where is Homer?"
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"I only hope we can put our differences aside for the next few hours."
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"-What? -Patty."
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"D'oh! Wrong one."
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"Patty."
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"Principal Charming"
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"Hey, Homer, did I wake you?"
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"I'm up! I'm up!"
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"I wanted to tell you about a new BBQ joint."
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"Oh, BBQ!"
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"It's called Greasy Joe's Bottomless BBQ Pit."
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"I can still taste the sauce. And get this:"
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"-It's all-you-can-eat! -This is like some beautiful dream!"
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"And one and two and three and reach..."
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"...and five and six and--"
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"Marge, I've got five words to say to you."
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"Greasy Joe's Bottomless BBQ Pit."
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"You promised you'd only have six servings of pork a week."
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"I'm only human. Now look, here's what we're gonna do:"
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"We'll take the kids to your sisters' Saturday night."
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"Then we'll eat till they kick us out!"
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"Saturday night? I'm not sure they're available."
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"I'll take that bet."
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"Saturday, we're going to Stanley Peterson's wedding."
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"Although he's going at her like they're already married."
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"Hey, alley cats. Save it for the honeymoon!"
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"Well, if you have other plans...."
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"It's no problem."
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"We'll leave before they toss the bouquet."
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""F.""
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""L." No, I'm sorry. That's a "C, " isn't it?"
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"If that was a car, you'd be dead now."
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"-But driving is my livelihood. -Take it like a man."
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"Friends, relatives, work-related acquaintances..."
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"...we are gathered here to join Stanley and Martha in holy matrimony."
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"Martha, my dear, I remember the first day that I met you."
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"-Hello, Selma. -Hello, Stanley."
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"-Is this seat taken? -Yes!"
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"Hey, beat it!"
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"Had I not chosen that seat, Martha, my love..."
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"...who knows what woman I might have ended up with?"
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"I'll tell you one thing, Greasy Joe is sorry he ever met me!"
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"Marge, I need to speak with you."
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"Oh, and that sauce, Barney! I could have drunk a bowl of it!"
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"No, that's just my sister-in-law."
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"I'll get right to it. I'm getting older and uglier."
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"Please, Marge, help me find a man before it's too late."
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"Well, I'll try."
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"Do you remember when you made us go to the Bowler's Hall of Fame..."
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"...so you could see that car shaped like a giant bowling pin?"
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"Remember? Who could forget?"
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"Then you'll also remember you owe me a favor..."
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"...to be called up whenever and for whatever reason I desire."
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"-But that was just an idle promise. -Not to me!"
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"-I want you to find Selma a husband. -Find a husband?!"
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"-But Marge-- -Homer, you will find her a man!"
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"-Okay. -And not just any man!"
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"He should be honest and caring and well-off and handsome!"
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"Why should she have a better husband than you?"
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"Sodium tetrasulfate is caustic and can remove your skin."
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"Must find man."
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"Must find man."
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"Boy, a good man really is hard to find!"
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"According to my sources, you are simultaneously planning..."
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"...to drop your pencils at 2: 15. Do so and you will be suspended."
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"-Who squealed? -You can't get anything past him."
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"Vandalism fans, hold on to your hats."
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"One seafood burrito, Apu."
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"The time has come for money to change hands."
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"Oh, sorry."
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"Say what they will about our cafeteria..."
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"...I still think they're the best Tater Tots money can buy."
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"Wait a minute..."
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"...that smells like sodium tetrasulfate..."
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"...bonding with chlorophyll."
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"Sweet Lord, it is!"
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"Surely you knew that by writing "Bart" in 40-foot letters..."
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"...you would be caught."
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"-Maybe it was another Bart. -There are none!"
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"The sheer contempt makes me wish I could use the board of education."
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"Call your father."
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"-Is Homer there? -Homer who?"
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"Homer Sexual."
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"Wait one second, let me check."
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"Homer Sexual!"
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"Sorry, Principal Skinner. It's a bad connection, I think."
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"For you. I think Bart's in trouble again."
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"What now?"
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"The victim is the grass..."
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"...on groundskeeper Willie's award-winning play field."
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"If it's okay with you..."
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"...I'd like to punish Bart through backbreaking physical labor."
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"Re-sodding the field manually, seed by seed."
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"But enough about Bart. Tell me, are you married?"
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"Only to my job."
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"But if you weren't, you'd tend to go for a girl?"
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"These pants come off at night just like everybody else's."
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"Why all the questions?"
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"Oh, no reason."
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"I was just wondering if..."
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"...you'd like to come over to my house for dinner."
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"A payback for all the things Bart has done!"
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"Well, a home-cooked meal would be a nice change of pace."
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"-I'd be delighted! -Excellent."
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"Good evening and welcome to our home."
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"Just get inside already."
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"He's here."
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"What are you waiting for? Go shake your moneymaker."
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"I'm too nervous. You do it."
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"-No, you do it. -No, you do it."
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"I had a discomforting thought on the way here."
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"This dinner wouldn't be a plan to set me up with some..."
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"...unmarried relation, would it? Because I can--"
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"Be still, my foolish heart."
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"Here we go. Boy meets beast."
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