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Clips from Family Guy - The Old Man and the Big 'C' (S11E11)

"because it doesn't seem to mean the same thing as it does here."
Family Guy
"And the worst part is, I don't think Lois even knows he's sick."
Family Guy
"Oh, this is going to destroy her!"
Family Guy
"Oh, just thinking about it makes me all giddy."
Family Guy
"Like a group of women ordering dessert."
Family Guy
"And then we have a chocolate, chocolate cake"
Family Guy
"that's infused with chocolate served with chocolate ice cream"
Family Guy
"and a molten chocolate topping."
Family Guy
"We'll have one of those with four spoons."
Family Guy
"More like four of those with one spoon for me!"
Family Guy
"Hey, Lois."
Family Guy
"Listen, I have something I need to tell you, but..."
Family Guy
"it might be difficult for you to hear."
Family Guy
"What is it?"
Family Guy
"Lois..."
Family Guy
"I think your father is dying."
Family Guy
"What?!"
Family Guy
"Ha!"
Family Guy
"Brian, what are you talking about?"
Family Guy
"Well, yesterday at the hospital,"
Family Guy
"I heard a doctor tell him he has cancer..."
Family Guy
"and that he has two weeks to live."
Family Guy
"Oh, my God."
Family Guy
"Oh, my God, Daddy!"
Family Guy
"Yeah, I feel really horrible for you,"
Family Guy
"and I hate to do this,"
Family Guy
"but I'm trying to catch a 4:50 movie,"
Family Guy
"and it's, like, 4:40 now, and, so, if I'm going to make it,"
Family Guy
"I have to leave, like, now."
Family Guy
"Yeah, this-this stinks,"
Family Guy
"but I've already blown this guy off, like, twice, so..."
Family Guy
"I've been trying to call my parents all day,"
Family Guy
"I'll tell ya, this obituary came out great."
Family Guy
""Carter Pewterschmidt died today of the disease cancer."
Family Guy
""In lieu of flowers, please send"
Family Guy
"carnival rides to Peter Griffin at 31 Spooner Street.""
Family Guy
"If we get just one ride out of this,"
Family Guy
"it will have been a success."
Family Guy
"Lois?"
Family Guy
"Wh-What are you doing here?"
Family Guy
"Mom, I've been trying to get ahold of you."
Family Guy
"Is Daddy okay? Where is he?"
Family Guy
"Oh, he's fine, dear."
Family Guy
"But now's not a good time."
Family Guy
"I want to see him."
Family Guy
"Daddy?!"
Family Guy
"Well, look who's here!"
Family Guy
"Daddy! You're okay!"
Family Guy
"Of course I'm okay! Why wouldn't I be?"
Family Guy
"Well, Brian said you were dying!"
Family Guy
"And I finished a book!"
Family Guy
"I promised myself I'd work that in."
Family Guy
"I-It's-- I might've jumped the gun."
Family Guy
"I didn't finish it."
Family Guy
"I'm so glad you're all right."
Family Guy
"Brian, how could you get us all worked up like that?!"
Family Guy
"Yeah, shame on you!"
Family Guy
"Oh, you're gonna get it, Brian."
Family Guy
"You are gonna get it when I drink."
Family Guy
"What the hell's going on?"
Family Guy
"Last night, Carter was on his deathbed,"
Family Guy
"and now he looks better than he ever did."
Family Guy
"Well, they say laughter is the best medicine."
Family Guy
"Maybe he went to a comedy club or something."
Family Guy
"we didn't have no Kool-Aid."
Family Guy
"We had food colorin' and water."
Family Guy
"Mama used to call it "Fool-Aid.""
Family Guy
"No, I don't get that."
Family Guy
"And everybody had an Uncle Earl."
Family Guy
"all day in his underdrawers, saying he "between" jobs."
Family Guy
"To be between jobs,"
Family Guy
"you had to have had a job in the first place!"
Family Guy
"And Earl got that cell phone."
Family Guy
"When the bill come, he sprint."
Family Guy
"Yes! So many of them are delinquent in payment."
Family Guy
"Rupert, move your legs."
Family Guy
"I can see your balls."
Family Guy
"Stewie, this is going to sound crazy,"
Family Guy
"but I have a theory about what's going on with Carter."
Family Guy
"Really? What is it?"
Family Guy
"Well, think about it."
Family Guy
"If Carter Pewterschmidt,"
Family Guy
"the dynamic chairman of Pewterschmidt Industries,"
Family Guy
"were to fall ill or even die,"
Family Guy
"the stock price would plummet."
Family Guy
"I don't want you to think I'm not listening,"
Family Guy
"but when's Christmas? Not for a while."
Family Guy
"But what I'm saying is, I think Carter is sick"
Family Guy
"or possibly even dead, and that the man we saw today"
Family Guy
"was an imposter brought in to keep"
Family Guy
"Pewterschmidt Industries' stock price up"
Family Guy
"and to keep people from knowing the truth."
Family Guy
"Boy, you are just going to keep on talking"
Family Guy
"Anyway, what are you suggesting?"
Family Guy
"We can follow him, see if he's really Carter."
Family Guy
"Okay, but I got to be home by 7:00."
Family Guy
"I'm supposed to talk to the police"
Family Guy
"about that shooting I witnessed."
Family Guy
"If I die,"
Family Guy
"leave two dollars worth of flowers right here."
Family Guy
"Here's my fourth grade class photo."
Family Guy
"Well, should I call an ambulance?"
Family Guy
"No. Call Channel Nine."
Family Guy
"And have a gap-toothed woman say, quote,"
Family Guy
""He never bothered nobody.""
Family Guy
"Okay, if this guy is an imposter, he's going to have"
Family Guy
"to do everything Carter normally does."
Family Guy
"We just have to wait and see if he slips up."
Family Guy
"All right, here he comes now."
Family Guy
"All right, Stu, now, if we can just..."
Family Guy
"No. What?"
Family Guy
"Hey, wait a minute."
Family Guy
"If this is an imposter,"
Family Guy
"then this guy we're following never had cancer."
Family Guy
"Yeah, so?"
Family Guy
"Well, you're a dog. Can't you just sniff cancer?"
Family Guy
"No, that's just a myth we started"
Family Guy
"so we could stick our snouts in girls' boobs."
Family Guy
"It's nice to have a clean bill of health."
Family Guy
"The key is weekly follow-ups."
Family Guy
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