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Clips from Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015) - Kimmy Goes to Church! (S03E03)

""I'm sorry I threw a trash can at you.""
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"But also, I don't know anything about real religion."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"What does it even mean that he wants to be a normal reverend?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Why? What did you do?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"So your whole life, you've been like, "It's all about M-E.""
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"I think it was meant to be sarcastic. Remember, his people were Jewish."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"I have a misprogrammed Teddy Ruxpin that does that."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"she's up to her skinny neck in bling."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"White lady!"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"White lady!"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"you know, a fascinating transition."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"if it was a seaplane in South Florida."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Wait, a lady reverend?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"And that is why we call it "Good Friday.""
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"that Jesus would lay down his life for all of us?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"--Thank you, Jesus!"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Whoomp, there it is!"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Amen."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"So thank you for welcoming me on this Good Friday."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Great Friday!"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Good. They need someone who can get through a chromatic modulation"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Yeah. They need someone like you."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"It's like Pastor Denise said."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"There's no greater good than sacrificing yourself for other people."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"to such a bah-sic choir would be just like what Jesus did."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Will these pythons do, Miss Clara?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Listen to me, Kimmy. Ladies like that are trouble."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"They collect gossip like Tituses collect expired deli meats,"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Oh!"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Must... stay... conscious."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Gah!"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"You know, gussy up the old head flaps."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Unless it's dead."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"with a bunch of cartoon animals."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Like Space Jam!"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"he may be easy on the eyes, but he's queasy on the ears."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"What happens to all this when I take a shower?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Shh, Lillian."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Jacqueline?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"So will I see you tomorrow at the Benedict Arnold Club"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"-New to town? -Not as such."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"-Just coming to church now? -This church."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"-What do you do for a living? -Renaissance man."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"You have a blessed day, Titus."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Clara is trying to destroy me."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"No, she's not, Titus."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"She overheard me bad-mouthing the choir."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"if she gets me kicked out of the congregation before I get the chance?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"No."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"They use this as an excuse to be as shady as they want to be."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
""Zipporah took a flint knife, cut off her son's foreskin,"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"-and touched Moses' feet with it"? -What?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"And it was your fault for getting kicked out."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"All right!"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Exactly."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"And I have to see her and all the others like her every day."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Blood, chewed-up food, the whole thing."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Oh."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Oh, I'm concerned for him."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"The Bible says the heart is the wellspring of life."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"And his idea of exercise is getting the mail."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Call me old-fashioned if you want to,"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"A woman crashed her car into the mayor's house this morning."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"She is a snake in the grass!"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Like a toilet or your mouth. But still!"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Oh."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Just like--"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Gosh dang it! I mean, is that what all religion is?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"I'm a good person, Kimmy."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"The only thing that stopped Bernice was the pressure and the sugar."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"-Didn't we already-- -Girl, this is Easter."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Listen, I'm not like you. I don't care what people think."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Because I was you."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Aww."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"All right, I'll tell you what."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"I'll agree to put on one item of your clothing"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Come upstairs."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"These are Doc Goodens."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Oh. Oh, my."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"What the hell are you wearing?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Oh, I know all about you."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Oh, you shop at Cornway's?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"I almost lost it when that silly friend of yours put it in donations."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"See, Titus, Reuben also doesn't have a girlfriend,"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"I just mean he keeps his private life private."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"I just thought the two of you could get together sometime and..."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"touch butts?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"That's why you were all over me like yellow on teeth."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Oh, I gotta tell Kimmy her dumb plan is off."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Not in church, dear."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"He'll be fine. You gave him a gun, right?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"All my things are in there. Where are my bags?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Now let's go do our lame plan no one cares about."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"My phone and my wallet are in my coat!"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Here, take my bus pass."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Why are you on the ground like a ground person?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Yes, I am divorced."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"When I first moved to New York,"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"And until 2012, I thought "espresso" was pronounced "expreshto.""
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Fine."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Mom, why?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"But guess what. Real religion's a sham."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"- Wolves! -"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Preach it!"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"'Cause we're not here to ask Jeeves."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"But what's that that the old folks used to say?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Lord, I too am weak."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"And I did steal a coat from the clothing drive."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"I went to Haiti to have voodoo done on a bunch of youse."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Amen!"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Amen. Amen."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Amen!"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Together."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Yeah!"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"-Good night, everybody! -Good night!"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Because of the beard and the shoulders? I get it."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"But first of all, I don't know what emojis say"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Hmm."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"You're asking the wrong Cumberbitch."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"I haven't been to church since I was 12 years old."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
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