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Clips from What We Do in the Shadows - On the Run (S02E02)

"And you skipped out without paying me"
What We Do in the Shadows
"* How can it be permissible? *"
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"* Mmm *"
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"* She compromise my principle *"
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"* Yeah... *"
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"I'm guessing the jig is up."
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"It certainly is,"
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"if by "jig,""
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"you mean "the varsity volleyball team's chance"
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"of going to State," then, yes, the jig is up."
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"Oh, you were talking about the volleyball?"
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"Mm, yes."
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"-(exhales) -I read your flyer."
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"I was so heartbroken for the team,"
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"I decided to come back and spare a few bucks to help them out."
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"(both chuckle)"
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"Even though I am extremely poor..."
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"-Ah. -...due to someone swindling me years ago."
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"Anyway,"
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"your fundraiser has been my only source of hope"
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"in a long, long time."
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"Well, then you'll be pleased to know that we've raised"
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"enough money to send the girls to State."
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"Oh, thank goodness!"
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"You don't know how it warms my heart to hear that."
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"(both chuckle)"
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"Would you like a drink, old-timer?"
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"Yes, I'll have a..."
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"uh, one human alcohol martini, please."
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"-Martini? An aristocrat. -Mm."
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"-(chuckles) -I like that."
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"* The trend is irreversible *"
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"Charlatan!"
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"-(people gasping) -LASZLO: Oh, shit."
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"I'm guessing I've come to the end of the road."
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"(gasps) It was you the whole time."
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"Prepare for your punishment, Cravensworth."
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"It will not be swift."
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"Not without a fight, me old fruit."
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"-(both hissing) -WOMAN: Oh, my God,"
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"-they're vampires! -(screaming)"
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"(shouting, clamoring)"
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"-WOMAN: Oh, they're gonna kill each other! -You had enough, old man?"
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"-(hisses) -Shit!"
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"(shouts)"
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"(screaming)"
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"(growls)"
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"(groans)"
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"(hissing)"
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"Eh."
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"(grunting)"
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"(straining, shouting)"
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"JIM: Oh, that's going to leave a mark!"
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"Hey, Jim the Vampire,"
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"-you're fired. -That doesn't even make any sense."
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"I don't work for you."
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"(screaming)"
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"Oh, fire. Now I get it."
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"-Shit! -The money for State!"
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"Oh, no!"
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"-No, no, no, no, no, no, no. -Oh!"
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"No! Get out!"
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"LASZLO: Hold on, hold on."
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"I've got this covered."
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"(groans) Shit."
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"JIM (cries): Oh, no."
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"Ugh, no."
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"Look what we've done."
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"All these years of obsession and hatred."
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"-Well... -You know who the real losers are in all this?"
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"The girls volleyball team. That's who."
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"Kind of puts our whole beef in perspective, doesn't it?"
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"-I should say it does. -Mm."
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"That debt I owe, I shall pay it."
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"And I shall pay it in full."
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"Even the most wealthy of vampires would struggle"
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"-to pay what you owe. -Ah."
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"But even the most wealthy of vampires,"
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"they don't own what I own."
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"-This. -What is this?"
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"Do you remember the Mechanical Turk?"
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"Ooh, yes."
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"Well, this is the same thing in fish form."
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"-(laughs) -Don't ask me to explain"
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"how it works, 'cause it's unexplainable."
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"Because there's only one in the whole world."
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"-* Will they say I've spent my life * -(gasps)"
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"-Look, look. -Isn't it splendid?"
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"Oh, I have never seen such beauty."
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"(laughs)"
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"* Gonna take me down... *"
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"Your debt is paid, Laszlo Cravensworth."
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"-Excelsior. -Excelsior."
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"And I apologize for the billiard ball to the head."
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"-(chuckles) -Safe passage, sir."
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"* Still bustin' moves, still breaking... *"
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"(door opens)"
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"(exhales)"
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"-Lucy. -(screams)"
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"Oh, no, no, no, no, no."
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"I just came to say goodbye."
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"You're a very sweet girl, but it never would've worked."
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"One, I'm married."
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"Two, I'm a vampire."
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"Time to get the fuck out of here."
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"(engine starts)"
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"Fucking hell!"
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"I never learned to drive, which is a pity,"
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"'cause that thing cost a fortune."
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"Bat!"
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"So it seems that the winding path of life..."
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"Guess who's back!"
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"...has led me back to myself."
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"(squealing)"
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"Back to Laszlo."
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"Yes!"
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"-Everybody, my Laszlo is home! -(laughs)"
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"Hello, Laszlo."
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"What? Is that it?"
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"-What? -I've been gone ages,"
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