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Clips from M*A*S*H - Love Story (S01E01)

"Dim the lights, Cur/er."
M*A*S*H
"She‘s not bothering me."
M*A*S*H
"—|sit high? -High?"
M*A*S*H
"According to this, your blood should have whitecaps."
M*A*S*H
"Come on. Snap it up, will you, Radar?"
M*A*S*H
"L 00k, don ’t rush me. It makes me nervous."
M*A*S*H
"— Whistling doesn’t help, you know! — Come on! Get on with it!"
M*A*S*H
"[ Glass Breaks]"
M*A*S*H
"Get it right this time and I‘ll giveyou a lollipop."
M*A*S*H
"—You‘re in good shape. — I told you I was all right."
M*A*S*H
"|fyou were any healthier, you could be in the army."
M*A*S*H
"but your mind is 4—F."
M*A*S*H
"My prescription is a little extra duty."
M*A*S*H
"Frank, would you mind not being so true red, white and blue..."
M*A*S*H
"first thing in the morning?"
M*A*S*H
"Look, Radar, this examination only answers halfthe questions."
M*A*S*H
"— Come on, tell us. What‘s bugging you? — It‘s nothing."
M*A*S*H
"Yeah, is that why you walk around staring at your navel?"
M*A*S*H
"We‘re all in this together with a common goal——"
M*A*S*H
"to serve our country and repel the godless hoard from the north..."
M*A*S*H
"— that would engulfour way oflife—— — [Hawkeye] Frank."
M*A*S*H
"He‘s okay, but you‘re making me sick."
M*A*S*H
"“Nerts”?"
M*A*S*H
"Come on, kid, what is it?"
M*A*S*H
"[Sighs]"
M*A*S*H
"Hi there, Radar. This is Linda Sue,"
M*A*S*H
"coming to you from the glass booth of Holtzman‘s department store."
M*A*S*H
"Everything is real good here, and being as how you and I are engaged,"
M*A*S*H
"Ithinkyou should be the first to know I‘m going to marry Elroy Fimple."
M*A*S*H
"Now, please don’t take it too hard,"
M*A*S*H
"’cause / know we ’re all gonna be real good friends if you come back alii/e."
M*A*S*H
"— /usta minute, now — [ Man] Hiya, ol‘ buddy!"
M*A*S*H
"but I guess you have to charge it up to old Mother Nature."
M*A*S*H
"Well, you know how it is, and I sure hope you understand."
M*A*S*H
"Good luck, and keep knocking offthem Commies."
M*A*S*H
"— Bye, now. — [ Linda Sue] Good—bye, Radar."
M*A*S*H
"I‘ll always have a soft place in my—— Elroy!"
M*A*S*H
"— [ Elroy Laughing] —This is a glass booth."
M*A*S*H
"— Elroy! Quit kissing that part. — [ Laughing Continues]"
M*A*S*H
"El roy!"
M*A*S*H
"A Dearjohn recording."
M*A*S*H
"Listen, Radar, I know it‘s rough——"
M*A*S*H
"This shouldn‘t be so hard. What cures a man ofa broken heart?"
M*A*S*H
"Heavy alimony?"
M*A*S*H
"— A date with Radar? — Yeah, let him take you to the movies."
M*A*S*H
"— He‘s a nice enough guy, but come on. — How about tonight?"
M*A*S*H
"Ican‘t. I‘m busy. I‘ve got a date."
M*A*S*H
"You."
M*A*S*H
"Who else can we think of?"
M*A*S*H
"Just a movie, O‘Brien."
M*A*S*H
"Or a walk over to the rec tent for a beer."
M*A*S*H
"— Forget it. — Try it once."
M*A*S*H
"Look, I promise you he‘ll shave, and he won‘t wear his wool cap."
M*A*S*H
"[Laughs]"
M*A*S*H
"I‘m very fond ofhim, but I‘m not going out..."
M*A*S*H
"with Corporal Radar O‘Reilly, and that‘s that."
M*A*S*H
"Would you hand me my towel, please?"
M*A*S*H
"Dryyourselfwith this."
M*A*S*H
"Trapper!"
M*A*S*H
"And I hope your shower cap springs a leak."
M*A*S*H
"He‘s got a warm personality when you get to know him."
M*A*S*H
"Now, look. Just try to imagine this."
M*A*S*H
"You go for a walk in the moonlight down by the river,"
M*A*S*H
"take along a blanket and a bottle ofwine."
M*A*S*H
"—Yeah?[Chuckles] — Hmm?"
M*A*S*H
"Sit in a secluded spot."
M*A*S*H
"moist, warm, passionate kisses."
M*A*S*H
"Oh, yeah, Hawkeye. Yeah."
M*A*S*H
"Oh, hey, well, what about Radar?"
M*A*S*H
"Itjust happens everybody in camp was busy."
M*A*S*H
"— Don‘t let it make you feel bad. — Yeah."
M*A*S*H
"You gotta understand, no woman‘s worth that kind ofanguish."
M*A*S*H
"I struck out in the World Series oflove."
M*A*S*H
"Radar,just suffer. Don‘t try to write."
M*A*S*H
"[ Vehicle Approaching]"
M*A*S*H
"[WolfWhistle]"
M*A*S*H
"Lieutenant, you‘ll stay here. Lieutenant, come with me."
M*A*S*H
"Thanks. That‘s sweet ofyou."
M*A*S*H
"Uh, Corporal? Your hand."
M*A*S*H
"Oh, that‘s all right. I am not using it now."
M*A*S*H
"[Chuckles]"
M*A*S*H
"[Whistles]"
M*A*S*H
"I know. I heard the violins."
M*A*S*H
"[Chuckles ] What a nice gesture, Captain. Thankyou very much."
M*A*S*H
"You‘re obviously in charge ofmaking the replacements feel at home, right?"
M*A*S*H
"here in CowardlyValley, missy ma‘am."
M*A*S*H
"“Plato's Republic ”"
M*A*S*H
"Oh, autographed by the author."
M*A*S*H
"“The Complete Works ofD’Annunzio. ” That‘s very interesting."
M*A*S*H
"— Doyou like Italian poets? — No, but I‘m crazy about lasagna."
M*A*S*H
"I was wondering ifyou‘d like to come over to the rec tent a little later..."
M*A*S*H
"— and meet our bra i/e little gang — Oh, tha n ks."
M*A*S*H
"I‘ll meet your brave little gang in time, I‘m sure."
M*A*S*H
"He‘s a brilliant conversationalist."
M*A*S*H
"— I‘m sure I would, but—— -“Vivaldi“?"
M*A*S*H
"“Bach at Carnegie Hall ”.7"
M*A*S*H
"“Tchaikovsky, Shostakovich”?"
M*A*S*H
"— At least you got the names right. — Oh, thankyou."
M*A*S*H
"— I‘m a beer—barrel polka man myself. — [Chuckles]"
M*A*S*H
"You know, Hawkeye, you‘re a very famous local character."
M*A*S*H
"Who squealed?"
M*A*S*H
"[Chuckles] And I am fiattered."
M*A*S*H
"But I‘m also tired and a little leery."
M*A*S*H
"Hey, Radar, you got a problem. Come here."
M*A*S*H
"This Lieutenant Anderson has a brain."
M*A*S*H
"Oh, yeah? This kid brushes her teeth with an encyclopedia."
M*A*S*H
"War and peace?"
M*A*S*H
"Yeah, Tolstoy was very flexible. He went either way."
M*A*S*H
"— You know what I mean?Just fake it. — Yeah."
M*A*S*H
"“The crumbling Roman Empire was beset with strife.""
M*A*S*H
"What do I do ifshe corners me on something?"
M*A*S*H
"Okay, all right. You look thoughtful and you say,"
M*A*S*H
"“That‘s highly significant.""
M*A*S*H
"He said look thoughtful, not sick."
M*A*S*H
"All right, okay. Try this. Try this."
M*A*S*H
"“I consider that horse—and—buggy thinking.”"
M*A*S*H
"I consider that horse—and—buggy thinking."
M*A*S*H
"— That‘s not bad. — Hey."
M*A*S*H
"Mozart? Bach? All the biggies?"
M*A*S*H
"- “Ah, Bach.“ — Ah, Bach."
M*A*S*H
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