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Clips from Jane the Virgin - Chapter Two (S01E01)

"We're good."
Jane the Virgin
"_"
Jane the Virgin
"Catalina Creel? Seriously, Abuela?"
Jane the Virgin
"- Who is Catalina Creel? - This super psycho telenovela villain"
Jane the Virgin
"who wore an eye patch everywhere even though she wasn't really blind."
Jane the Virgin
"- (ringtone playing) - Petra's not a super psycho."
Jane the Virgin
"_"
Jane the Virgin
"JANE: Okay, you know what?"
Jane the Virgin
"She's just texted me."
Jane the Virgin
"She'd like to meet."
Jane the Virgin
"Sounds lovely."
Jane the Virgin
"Are you happy?"
Jane the Virgin
"And once I meet with her, I am going"
Jane the Virgin
"to think about this pregnancy as little as possible."
Jane the Virgin
"I'm gonna get back to my life."
Jane the Virgin
"Uh-uh. No way."
Jane the Virgin
"After that, you sue the frickin' doctor."
Jane the Virgin
"LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Ah, yes,"
Jane the Virgin
"the frickin' doctor. Okay."
Jane the Virgin
"Can you just say your name one more time,"
Jane the Virgin
"and this time would you mind"
Jane the Virgin
"also spelling it slowly?"
Jane the Virgin
"Twice... you can never be too careful."
Jane the Virgin
"Well..."
Jane the Virgin
"I'm sure the mistake will be dealt with"
Jane the Virgin
"through the appropriate channels,"
Jane the Virgin
"and since I haven't received the..."
Jane the Virgin
"official notification that my license is suspended,"
Jane the Virgin
"(computer chimes)"
Jane the Virgin
"Oh, okay, there's the official notification."
Jane the Virgin
"My license is suspended."
Jane the Virgin
"Luisa, you're not drinking are you?"
Jane the Virgin
"No."
Jane the Virgin
"No, I'm not. What I'm doing is"
Jane the Virgin
"that I'm trying to be practical, which is why I called you."
Jane the Virgin
"No, stop it. I'm sorry."
Jane the Virgin
"I don't know why I said that."
Jane the Virgin
"I'm going through a lot,"
Jane the Virgin
"and I'm lashing out. I..."
Jane the Virgin
"I called my insurance company, and there's"
Jane the Virgin
"this thing in my policy."
Jane the Virgin
"It mentions my brother, and I'm not sure I understand it"
Jane the Virgin
"because of all the legal jargon."
Jane the Virgin
"In case of a lawsuit, yeah."
Jane the Virgin
"Look, no one would insure Luisa with her history of addiction."
Jane the Virgin
"She's my sister."
Jane the Virgin
"So if Jane sues me...?"
Jane the Virgin
"Your brother's hotel could be on the line."
Jane the Virgin
"in a whole legal battle. I just want"
Jane the Virgin
"to keep moving forward with my life."
Jane the Virgin
"Finish college, obsess about wedding dresses..."
Jane the Virgin
"and who keeps calling you, Mom?"
Jane the Virgin
"Can you ask Rafael if I can sing at the hotel next month?"
Jane the Virgin
"I heard Paulina Rubio's"
Jane the Virgin
"producer might be in town, so..."
Jane the Virgin
"Is it Bruce?"
Jane the Virgin
"- Yeah, it's Bruce. - Mom!"
Jane the Virgin
"LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: It is important to note"
Jane the Virgin
"that Bruce is Xiomara's"
Jane the Virgin
"It is also important to note that that was"
Jane the Virgin
"it was Jane's father, who Xo saw out of the blue"
Jane the Virgin
"Seeing her high school boyfriend"
Jane the Virgin
"JANE: Hey. Who's the hottie?"
Jane the Virgin
"_"
Jane the Virgin
"♪ ♪"
Jane the Virgin
"But alas, Jane didn't know any of that."
Jane the Virgin
"Yet."
Jane the Virgin
"And so for a brief moment,"
Jane the Virgin
"Hi. I'm sorry to ambush you like this."
Jane the Virgin
"I just wanted to talk really quickly about the..."
Jane the Virgin
"(quietly): uh... the baby."
Jane the Virgin
"Like I said, the moment was brief."
Jane the Virgin
"- I actually texted your wife. - Yes, I heard."
Jane the Virgin
"Yeah, I was just trying to put a name to the face"
Jane the Virgin
"and make sure she didn't have an eye patch."
Jane the Virgin
"What?"
Jane the Virgin
"Nothing. That was a bad joke. sorry."
Jane the Virgin
"I am really excited to meet her."
Jane the Virgin
"And, you know, see the whole picture"
Jane the Virgin
"and the two-parent-home thing."
Jane the Virgin
"Right."
Jane the Virgin
"So, that's pretty important to you, huh?"
Jane the Virgin
"Yeah, it's the reason why I feel good about my decision."
Jane the Virgin
"to me about?"
Jane the Virgin
"In truth, he decided"
Jane the Virgin
"to come clean to Jane and tell her his marriage is over."
Jane the Virgin
"Just... Luisa, Dr. Alver, is my sister, so it's..."
Jane the Virgin
"- What? - The... doctor who inseminated you."
Jane the Virgin
"She's your sister?"
Jane the Virgin
"She's... your sister?"
Jane the Virgin
"Yes. But I mean, we're not on good terms, obviously."
Jane the Virgin
"No, but she's, like, really your sister?"
Jane the Virgin
"And not to make things more awkward..."
Jane the Virgin
"Come up with an amount, present it to us,"
Jane the Virgin
"and that way I can pay you directly,"
Jane the Virgin
"and that way you'll make the most money."
Jane the Virgin
"What makes you think that I want money?"
Jane the Virgin
"I don't know, I just assumed, because..."
Jane the Virgin
"Because I'm a waitress?"
Jane the Virgin
"No. I... I know you're not just a waitress."
Jane the Virgin
"- “Just a waitress.” - That's not what I meant."
Jane the Virgin
"- Look, you're in college... - So if I wasn't"
Jane the Virgin
"in college, I would be “just a waitress.”"
Jane the Virgin
"Jane, I think you're taking this the wrong way."
Jane the Virgin
"Yeah. Maybe I am."
Jane the Virgin
"Except this huge thing just happened,"
Jane the Virgin
"and you're telling me that your sister did it,"
Jane the Virgin
"and then you're offering me money."
Jane the Virgin
"He's a rich playboy."
Jane the Virgin
"Rich playboy with an entitled attitude,"
Jane the Virgin
"missing a basic sensitivity chip."
Jane the Virgin
"He was so much nicer in my head."
Jane the Virgin
"That's because he's a good kisser."
Jane the Virgin
"What?! You kissed him?"
Jane the Virgin
"It was five years ago. Not a big deal."
Jane the Virgin
"No."
Jane the Virgin
"Because I haven't actually told Michael yet."
Jane the Virgin
"and I want it to settle... I just don't want it to be weird."
Jane the Virgin
"Or weirder."
Jane the Virgin
"It's definitely weirder."
Jane the Virgin
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