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Clips from How I Met Your Mother - Splitsville (S08E08)

"But then, as often happens, they started to drift apart."
How I Met Your Mother
"Marshall had joined a Midtown professionals basketball league."
How I Met Your Mother
"Ever since they lost to a group of accountants..."
How I Met Your Mother
"Robin, it's the Little Ivies Professionals Over 30..."
How I Met Your Mother
"and you're the captain?"
How I Met Your Mother
"You know, if a genie gave me one wish..."
How I Met Your Mother
"And there was the comment about Gypsies."
How I Met Your Mother
"No, no. L-I think Gypsies prefer to be called Romani now."
How I Met Your Mother
"Gypsies are a real ethnic group that actually exists?"
How I Met Your Mother
"Oh, you guys, I feel terrible now."
How I Met Your Mother
"And you're afraid, if I dump him, it'll throw off his game."
How I Met Your Mother
"- [Chuckles] - Oy."
How I Met Your Mother
"It's like you're a fortune-teller too."
How I Met Your Mother
"Do you think that you could do, uh, sit-ups or something while you talk?"
How I Met Your Mother
"- Yeah. - [Chuckles]"
How I Met Your Mother
"with a little extra incentive to break up with Nick."
How I Met Your Mother
"♪ ♪ [Upbeat]"
How I Met Your Mother
"[Screaming] "Robin and Patrice's BFF Fun Day"?"
How I Met Your Mother
"Why would you do that?"
How I Met Your Mother
"Oh! Fine."
How I Met Your Mother
"If you do dump him, at least let him down easy."
How I Met Your Mother
"Yeah. Take him to a nice restaurant, preferably a dessert place."
How I Met Your Mother
"That way you won't have to sit through a whole meal before you get to..."
How I Met Your Mother
"It's a dessert place right around the corner."
How I Met Your Mother
"[Patrons Crying]"
How I Met Your Mother
"- What happened? - [Sobs] I..."
How I Met Your Mother
"Well, thanks, but I think I'd just rather eat it out of a bowl."
How I Met Your Mother
"Turns out those two points were taken away because apparently the ball went "out of bounds.""
How I Met Your Mother
"And then he bites you on the neck... not super hard..."
How I Met Your Mother
"It's a tear in the libial flum-flar liniment."
How I Met Your Mother
"If it's a small tear, he can still make play-offs."
How I Met Your Mother
"A game? Sure."
How I Met Your Mother
"so may as well start having sex again."
How I Met Your Mother
"- Nick... - Huh?"
How I Met Your Mother
"- [Kissing] - [Moans] I..."
How I Met Your Mother
"But I could not stop loving her any more than I could stop breathing."
How I Met Your Mother
"[Women, Together] Yes!"
How I Met Your Mother
"And you... The only other time you've ever exercised this seriously..."
How I Met Your Mother
"was when Lily had mono freshman year..."
How I Met Your Mother
"and then you're exhausted from being up all night."
How I Met Your Mother
"[Cries, Stops, Cries, Stops]"
How I Met Your Mother
"[Cries, Stops]"
How I Met Your Mother
"You don't have the time or energy. You're never alone."
How I Met Your Mother
"Taking Marvin for a walk so you guys can have some privacy."
How I Met Your Mother
"If I'm late, it's 'cause I've been delayed by autograph seekers."
How I Met Your Mother
"Yowza! Ooh! Okay."
How I Met Your Mother
"And, of course, Robin Scherbatsky for being so hypnotized by hog..."
How I Met Your Mother
"Hey, tricking good-looking idiots is kind of my thing."
How I Met Your Mother
"I can change. I can..."
How I Met Your Mother
"[Ted Narrating] In the fall of 2012..."
How I Met Your Mother
"Nick and Robin were going strong."
How I Met Your Mother
"Sometimes it's hard to say what it is exactly that makes a couple click."
How I Met Your Mother
"- [Inhales] Bravissimol - [Blusters] Yeah."
How I Met Your Mother
"kids, Nick and Robin really connected at first."
How I Met Your Mother
"Hey, you know, I think I'm really starting to feel something here."
How I Met Your Mother
"- [Snores] - And..."
How I Met Your Mother
"Why? Who can say?"
How I Met Your Mother
"Nick and I haven't had sex in three days."
How I Met Your Mother
"And it's your fault."
How I Met Your Mother
"Nick won't have sex because he pulled his groin muscle..."
How I Met Your Mother
"all 'cause you made him join your stupid basketball team."
How I Met Your Mother
"- Did you say "stupid basketball team"? - Yeah."
How I Met Your Mother
"Oh, my gosh. Guys, we have to rush Robin to the hospital..."
How I Met Your Mother
"because, somehow, she swallowed her vocal cords..."
How I Met Your Mother
"and they got lodged in her rectum..."
How I Met Your Mother
"[Whispering] Because she's talking out of her ass."
How I Met Your Mother
"[Ted Narrating] Over the summer..."
How I Met Your Mother
"His team of lawyers was called the Force Majeures."
How I Met Your Mother
"You sure you didn't have a ringer or two out there, Joel?"
How I Met Your Mother
"Don't know what you're talking about."
How I Met Your Mother
"Good hustle out there, Aboubakar!"
How I Met Your Mother
"If Joel can use ringers, then so can we."
How I Met Your Mother
"And Nick is our best player, so as far as I'm concerned, you can both keep your groins on ice."
How I Met Your Mother
"Groins on Ice. Least popular Madison Square Garden holiday show ever."
How I Met Your Mother
"Why are you so into this basketball league?"
How I Met Your Mother
"Who Work in Midtown League."
How I Met Your Mother
"It's The Showl"
How I Met Your Mother
"[Chuckles] You know, it's kind of funny..."
How I Met Your Mother
"imagining people icing their groins."
How I Met Your Mother
"First they'd be all cold, and..."
How I Met Your Mother
"and then the ice would start to melt..."
How I Met Your Mother
"and... things would get all wet and... steamy."
How I Met Your Mother
"Okay, Lily."
How I Met Your Mother
"Look, buddy, I'm also the captain of a team..."
How I Met Your Mother
"in the Little Ivies Professionals Over 30 Who Work In Midtown League."
How I Met Your Mother
"I'm addicted to the adrenaline too."
How I Met Your Mother
"Still, don't you think you're getting a little obsessive about..."
How I Met Your Mother
"Uh, hold up. Hold up. Are you suggesting that you are a member of a sports team..."
How I Met Your Mother
"- [Chuckling] - So says the "C" I personally sewed onto my jersey."
How I Met Your Mother
"Uh, after Victoria and I broke up, I had some free time."
How I Met Your Mother
"So... called up a few architect friends..."
How I Met Your Mother
"and put together a little team called the T-Squares."
How I Met Your Mother
"See that? The floor's uneven."
How I Met Your Mother
"And that window placement is rubbish."
How I Met Your Mother
"I would knock down that wall and create a nice flow."
How I Met Your Mother
"Great wish."
How I Met Your Mother
"There's too much hard wood, right?"
How I Met Your Mother
"Did you nerds actually play any basketball?"
How I Met Your Mother
"Um, us nerds focused on something far more important..."
How I Met Your Mother
"bonding."
How I Met Your Mother
"You guys are gonna get pounded."
How I Met Your Mother
"And I am not."
How I Met Your Mother
"Oh, come on. You can't go a couple weeks without sex?"
How I Met Your Mother
"Our point guard's a 52-year-old virgin, happy as a clam."
How I Met Your Mother
"I'm sure he's quite a ball handler."
How I Met Your Mother
"The problem is, now that we're not having sex, we're talking more..."
How I Met Your Mother
"and I'm realizing that Nick is kind of... dumb."
How I Met Your Mother
"- Really? - News to me. - No."
How I Met Your Mother
"- I hadn't noticed that. - Oh, my God."
How I Met Your Mother
"You guys think that he's dumb too?"
How I Met Your Mother
"- So dumb. - Air bags are sharper."
How I Met Your Mother
"- Hot as lava but just as thick. - Mm."
How I Met Your Mother
"♪ ♪ [Upbeat Pop]"
How I Met Your Mother
"♪ ♪ [Ends]"
How I Met Your Mother
"Wow. When did you guys start to notice..."
How I Met Your Mother
"that he was kind of dumb?"
How I Met Your Mother
"Hey, what's a four-letter word for "cut"?"
How I Met Your Mother
"- Nick. - Yeah?"
How I Met Your Mother
"Is a four-letter word for "cut.""
How I Met Your Mother
"- What is? - Nick."
How I Met Your Mother
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