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Clips from New Girl - Jess & Julia (S01E01)

"and you, you're the really fun teacher girl..."
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"with all the colorful skirts and you bake things."
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"and you'll tuck him in under his blankie and..."
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"What is it with you and the blankie? I never said the word blankie."
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"I don't talk like Teddy Ruxpin."
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"If I acted the way that you act when I was at work, nobody would listen to me."
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"Well, if I acted like you at work..."
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"my students would turn in really weird, dark dioramas, so..."
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"I don't like you."
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"And I don't want to be your friend, so..."
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"- Fine. - Can you leave, please? Because..."
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"I am about to start crying..."
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"and you are the last person that I wanna cry in front of."
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"I wanna cry too, and where am I supposed to cry?"
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"You can't monopolize the bathroom crying space."
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"Please go."
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"What are you doing, Jess? Get out!"
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"I'm sorry."
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"- Winston, what are you doing? - Pah-pah-pah."
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"I have come here to listen to you."
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"Should I have interrupted you to tell you that? Probably not."
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"So how are you?"
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"Tell me about your life, and how is everything?"
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"Winston, what am I supposed to do?"
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"I was a booty call for two years and then I was nothing for two years."
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"You show up bragging after all this time like nothing has changed."
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"What do you want me to think?"
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"That I'm an idiot."
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"And you know what? You're right, and I'm sorry."
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"It's just that since I've stopped playing ball..."
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"I realize I'm not that good at this."
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"And, quite frankly, you are way out of my league."
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"That is clear now."
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"But I do hope this is not the last time I see you..."
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"but whatever you want, I'm cool with."
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"- I gotta get back to work. - Yeah."
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"Yeah, I'll help you."
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"See?"
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"- I'm the manager. - Oh, you're the manager?"
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"Yeah. - Wow, that's amazing."
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"It's okay."
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"Case 73. Mr. Sandoval."
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"Why, I see you have dressed for the occasion."
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"Oh, hi. You didn't have to come. I'm sure you're very busy."
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"- Yes, sir. - You keep a dog on a leash."
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"Your Honor."
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"Your Honor."
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"Your Honor."
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"These are the facts."
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"Your Honor."
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"Case 74. Jessica Day."
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"Yes, sir. Yes, I'm present, sir."
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"Okay, you just have to enter the plea yourself, all right?"
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"- And then I'll do the rest. - I got it."
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"- So all you have to do is say... - I got it. Thank you."
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"- How do you plead? - Guilty."
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"- Great. Pay your fine upstairs. - - What?"
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"Well, I guess we're never gonna know if the bird defense works."
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"Such a bummer too. We have this pool at my office."
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"Okay. Hey!"
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"I got something to say to you, man."
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"What?"
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"I brake for birds."
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"I rock a lot of polka dots."
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"I have touched glitter in the last 24 hours."
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"I spend my entire day talking to children."
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"And I find it fundamentally strange that you're not a dessert person."
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"That's just weird, and it freaks me out."
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"And I'm sorry I don't talk like Murphy Brown. And I hate your pantsuit."
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"I wish it had ribbons on it or something to make it just slightly cuter."
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"And that doesn't mean I'm not smart and tough and strong."
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"- Okay. - And I know you like Nick..."
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"and I'm not trying to interfere..."
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"but you should just talk to him about it."
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"Are you done?"
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"I'm about to go and pay this $800 fine..."
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"and my checks have baby farm animals on them, bitch."
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"That's the wrong way."
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"- You moved. - You remember my old place?"
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"- The place in the 'hood? - No."
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"Ha, ha. Yeah, whatever."
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"So, um, this was nice."
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"Yeah, it was."
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"- Wanna know what I want to do now? - What?"
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"Take you on a real date."
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"Why don't you call me?"
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"Good night, Winston."
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"- Winston, what's happening? - Huh? Yeah, good night."
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"What is wrong with you, man? You got no game. That was so stupid."
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"Hey! Anyone!"
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"My towel!"
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"Can someone please get my towel?"
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"It's in my room next to my Irish walking cape."
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"Okay, I left my towel in my room. Nobody look."
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"- Nobody look, yo. Nobody look. - We don't want to."
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"Seriously, no one is looking at...? All right, forget it."
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"- Aah! Damn it! - Oh, my God."
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"He's a natural blond."
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"What shape is that supposed to be shaved into?"
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"- Think he's trying to force perspective. - Ha, ha. Very funny."
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"- I gotta get something off my chest. - Oh!"
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"No, Schmidt, there is an apron right over there. Go cover yourself."
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"- You are Jewish. - You're making me gayer."
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"Are you gonna go on, like, a wet-towel rant?"
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"No. This is now a sex rant."
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"To wit, six months ago..."
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"I thought getting a girl roommate meant sex all the time."
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"Definitely with her friends and probably with her."
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"Are there women here? Yeah, sure, more than ever."
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"But you, not gonna happen."
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"You, I will never give up."
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"And you, well, you sample from the gumbo pot."
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"- Ha! - I am in a damp bathroom..."
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"and I hate it."
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"It's like a nightmare."
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"I'm in a watermelon-themed apron with a..."
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"A tampon?"
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"Why would you need this for cooking?"
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"I just had an idea."
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"Why don't we hang our towels on towel bars instead of hooks?"
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