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Clips from Schitt's Creek (2015) - The Roast (S05E05)

"Uh no, I was thinking somewhere more exotic, like,"
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"I don't know, somewhere that would have beaches for you,"
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"and some interesting wildlife for me?"
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"Okay, I've just been to Miami so many times before,"
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"and trust me, the "wildlife" is not as sexy up close."
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"No, I'm talking about farther away."
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"Like, I don't know..."
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"- I love that. - Really?"
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"Yes, as a jumping-off point, yes!"
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"But if we're thinking islands, why don't we do something"
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"less sleepy and scary, like, The Maldives?"
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"And I guess while we're spit-balling here,"
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"you know, it could be kinda fun to go somewhere"
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"that you've never been before."
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"Like, I don't know, the Galapagos Islands."
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"Yes, Ted! An island somewhere for sure."
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"We just need to figure out where. Mm."
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"But I'm so glad we're on the same page about this!"
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"Yeah, yeah."
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"And-And what page is that?"
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"Well, we both agree that we wanna get away,"
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"and we both agree that we're gonna land"
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"Mhmm!"
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"Hey, Johnny. I heard the news."
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"Boy, we are really going to miss Moira tonight"
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"at the annual Mayor's Roast."
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"I was looking forward to getting scorched."
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"Oh yeah, well, she's gonna miss it, too."
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"Yeah, I mean, when she starts going off,"
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"oh my God, you better have the burn unit on speed dial."
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"because she is just slinging heat!"
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"- Which ultimately becomes fire. - Yeah, I get it, I get it."
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"She can, she can be funny on occasion."
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"Yeah, it's okay though, I've got uh, Bob's cousin,"
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"Louis, from Elm County,"
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"he's gonna come in and fill in for her, so."
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"Yeah well, Louis' the last guy that should be driving in"
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"for tonight. Uh no, I-I uh..."
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"I'm more than capable of taking Moira's place."
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"Johnny, I don't think so."
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"Those are pretty high heels to fill."
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"I've handled myself pretty well humorously speaking,"
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"in front of large crowds before."
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"Jeez, if you bring up that Rose Video"
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"shareholder's meeting again..."
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"You better be spending this time toughening your skin,"
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"Because I've got more than a few..."
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"rippers up my sleeve for tonight."
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"Okay um, first off, I have no idea what "rippers" are."
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"Well, maybe you'd know,"
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"if you graduated elementary school."
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"Oh Roland, I'm sorry, did I... Was that too far?"
Schitt's Creek (2015)
""Oh Roland, I'm sorry, did I go too far?""
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"Oh pal, you are going to get eaten alive tonight!"
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"Oh!"
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"all by yourself?"
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"You make me sound like a feral cat."
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"I'm walking home."
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"Don't tell me the store is already laying off people!"
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"No, Patrick sent me home to get a check"
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"about wanting to sup this evening,"
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"and I'm afraid I must decline."
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"What? Why? Why?"
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"David, full disclosure,"
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"you have been awfully clingy of late."
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"Okay..."
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"I think it might be propitious for you to spend"
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"some time with your peers."
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"What's Patrick doing tonight? Or Stevie?"
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"They're um, busy."
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"Busy? Well, rehearsals end sharply at six,"
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"so either one of them should be free"
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"to dine with you thereafter."
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"I just don't think they're available tonight."
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"Hmm, too tired?"
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"- Mm, yes. Yeah. - Yes."
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"They've both been struggling."
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"Your choreography has been working them so hard"
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"they basically just go home and fall sleep,"
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"so actually your show"
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"is stripping me of a social life."
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"Alright, David, but it'll have to be a working repast."
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"I could use your eye for the final design of the posters."
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"Okay? You employ the wrong font,"
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"We're both going home though!"
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"What the hell?!"
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"Alexis, you don't need to do those dishes."
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"I didn't, I just put them on the counter."
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"Um, I also found this on the counter."
Schitt's Creek (2015)
""Charles Darwin Research Center.""
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"- What is this? - Oh, nothing."
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"Just-just some work stuff."
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"It says you were one of ten people selected"
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"for a research program."
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"Oh, what?"
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"Oh, the Galapagos Islands?"
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"Uh, not necessarily, no."
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"You mean, other than wanting to study some of the rarest"
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"and most diverse forms of plant and animal life on the planet?"
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"Uh, yeah, I guess you have a point."
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"You were selected out of thousands of applicants?"
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"It just means that they'll have plenty of people"
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"to pick from when I don't accept."
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"Why didn't you tell me you were doing this?"
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"A couple years? It sounds important."
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"Well, listen, it's not not important."
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"But I can, I can always apply again."
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"You know, Emmett, the tortoise is 180-years-old,"
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"So I'm sure he'll still be around in another few years."
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"You love old tortoises! It sounds like a dream."
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"Six months."
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"- Oh, wow. - Yeah, see,"
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"this is why I didn't wanna push it on you this morning, okay?"
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"Because you mean way more to me than some dumb..."
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"once-in-a-lifetime job opportunity."
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"Ted, I don't know what to say."
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"my laptop's here..."
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"Well, what about long distance?"
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"text relationship with Josh Hartnett"
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"while he was shooting "Pearl Harbor"."
Schitt's Creek (2015)
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