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Clips from Schitt's Creek (2015) - The Roast (S05E05)

"Oh!"
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"with my mother, and I blame you two for it."
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"So how was uh, dinner last night?"
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"Ooh, long. We spent two and a half hours"
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"All so that you two of you could sneak off"
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"Hey listen, David, your Mom is a great director."
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"I don't even know what that looks like."
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"Yes, you have legs like tree trunks,"
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"tell her we're getting outside help."
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"When she was coaching me for the "Little Mister" pageant,"
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"she "forgot" to double-knot my tap shoes,"
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"Mm, Ted, it smells so good in here!"
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"Brunch. That we were supposed to make together."
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"- for dinner, then. - Mm, yum!"
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"Hey, so I was thinking about maybe going into work"
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"the Galapagos Islands."
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"I mean, get the fire extinguishers ready,"
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"Well, don't you worry about me, I've uh..."
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"I can't believe you said that to me."
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"Look at your face!"
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"David! What are you doing walking the streets"
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"that apparently is tax for the government,"
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"and not, as I assumed, a bonus for me."
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"Well, I'm glad I caught you, because I got your missive"
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"- Can't wait. - Until then, dear!"
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"That's... crazy."
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"Is this why you kept bringing up those islands this morning?"
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"Ted, why else would anyone wanna go there?"
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"Ted!"
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"Because I applied before we got back together,"
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"and it takes a couple years to process the applications."
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"How long is the program?"
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"I'd totally think about it, but like,"
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"Okay, honestly, just don't worry about it."
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"Sounds like someone's in a good mood."
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"I can't believe we've come such a long way, you know?"
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"Wow. That is lucky."
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"But I guess relationships are all about sacrifice."
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"Oh my God, yes, Ted and I are so good"
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"and I have learned to take as well."
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"And I'm sure you give things up for him"
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"But if he did, I would."
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"Oh, so he didn't ask you to go with him?"
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"aside to be with me."
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"Yeah."
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"It's a bit too European for my taste."
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"The phone book? How old are these?!"
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"Johnny, you gotta be short and quick,"
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"I'm glad I let you talk me into another dinner, David."
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"that's something I've been debating for some time now."
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"It's 7:15. Are you sure you should be walking"
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"before bed for you."
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"♪"
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"♪ Of advice from the fat little pastor... ♪"
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"What the hell?!"
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"I don't-I don't know."
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"- Get a little! - Get a little!"
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"- I'm just gonna head outside. - Yeah. Yes."
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"And I thought I would be."
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"So sweet."
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"to cover the costs."
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"But the last thing I wanna do"
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"No. But, yes."
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"Muah! Alexis, you continue to amaze me."
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"Yes! Let's celebrate!"
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"in tents, and there could be disease-carrying"
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"and less on the details?"
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"Ohhh!"
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"All right, Johnny! Go on!"
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"Yeah!"
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"All right, Johnny, starting to make some moves, now."
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"Ohhh!"
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"- John! - Oh my God, Dad!"
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"like you did with your education?"
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"And look at you, John."
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"Alexis has a back tattoo?"
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"Stop, oh my God!"
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"You must be having a lovely morning."
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"Hey now, it's just getting started."
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"Is it just getting started?"
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"Because it looks like the two of you have been engaged"
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"in general merriment for quite some time now."
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"- Did he just say "merriment?" - I think he did."
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"Yes, I said "merriment.""
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"Because that's what happens when I spend too much time"
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"going over a costume lineup for the show."
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"to some secret dance rehearsal behind her back"
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"like a pair of dirty con artists."
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"She's just not used to working with amateur dancers."
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"Yeah, last week she told me"
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"to dance like an Indonesian scarf caught in the wind."
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"This "Money" number is so complicated"
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"that if we don't get the outside help,"
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"we will be laughed off stage. You've seen me dance."
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"- we knew that going into this. - Thank you."
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"Can we just have one more private session with Derek,"
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"- and then it's done. - One more session?!"
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"I thought last night was the last session!"
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"Well, we couldn't nail the final lift."
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"What is this, "Dirty Dancing?!""
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"David, please, just keep her distracted for one more night."
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"No. No! It's too much!"
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"Okay, then I guess we can just..."
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"Mm, good luck."
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"I made the mistake of going to Mario Lopez for advice,"
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"he was the hosting at the time."
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"Anyway, she found out, and felt so betrayed,"
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"and cost me the crown."
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"So I will cover for you for one more night."
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"This better be worth it."
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"Excuse me, I have a job to do. Oh."
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"What's the occasion?"
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"Oh, don't worry, babe, I've already eaten."
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"So then I guess I'll just have your plate"
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"- a little bit later today. - Ah!"
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"Yay, if that means more Teddy time for me, then yes."
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"No actually, I've been thinking about maybe"
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"taking a longer break from work."
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"I'm listening."
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"What if we got out of town, just the two of us?"
Schitt's Creek (2015)
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