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Clips from One Day at a Time - A Snowman's Tale (S01E01)

"This is my third coat, Jerry. What do we think?"
One Day at a Time
"But you're not gonna murder me and throw me in the trunk, right, jer?"
One Day at a Time
"I needed that joke."
One Day at a Time
"It was a hot, steamy night,"
One Day at a Time
"And I had snuck into the havana club."
One Day at a Time
"And I was about to enter the heart..."
One Day at a Time
"You are the most beautiful woman in the world."
One Day at a Time
"What is it like to be so loved?"
One Day at a Time
"Claro, but I have to go. Schneider's a wreck."
One Day at a Time
"You know, she still talks to him out loud."
One Day at a Time
"I'm kinda jealous of him."
One Day at a Time
"But you're gonna, huh?"
One Day at a Time
"Yesterday, I was in my office... I'm a nurse."
One Day at a Time
"What's happening?"
One Day at a Time
"I get why you'd wanna kill you."
One Day at a Time
"Sometimes when I wanna splurge, I get the Betty Crocker omelet for two,"
One Day at a Time
"for one."
One Day at a Time
"Doc, you're forgetting about the best part about being single."
One Day at a Time
"Oh, I didn't know there was an app called "disappointment.""
One Day at a Time
"- Penelope. - That's my name."
One Day at a Time
"Thank you."
One Day at a Time
"I still got it. Yes!"
One Day at a Time
"Mine."
One Day at a Time
"Sixty in lady years."
One Day at a Time
"and right now you're my therapist, so I need you to keep up."
One Day at a Time
"- Can I get a beer? - No, she's busy."
One Day at a Time
"I'm a snowman."
One Day at a Time
"And all of this..."
One Day at a Time
"- How old are you? - Thirty-three."
One Day at a Time
"I don't know why I'm so freaked out!"
One Day at a Time
"It's like watching a baby bird learn to fly."
One Day at a Time
"Are you sure you wanna do the online thing?"
One Day at a Time
"Go to a coffee shop,"
One Day at a Time
"I'm not looking to have sex with someone."
One Day at a Time
"Yeah, let's not put that in your profile."
One Day at a Time
"I get it, you mean a real date."
One Day at a Time
"Right, right, lie about everything. This is good."
One Day at a Time
"But not for you. Okay."
One Day at a Time
"He has nice eyes."
One Day at a Time
""Adam Bennett.""
One Day at a Time
"And you have a date tonight."
One Day at a Time
"I'm really bad at Photoshop."
One Day at a Time
"If my family finds out, it'll be a disaster."
One Day at a Time
"Maybe just don't tell 'em?"
One Day at a Time
"Okay?"
One Day at a Time
"I went to sephora, and bought a tube of mascara,"
One Day at a Time
"Hey, can I get that toilet paper I asked for five minutes ago?"
One Day at a Time
"Found a jumpsuit for 40 bucks that shows off the..."
One Day at a Time
"And I am here."
One Day at a Time
"Open up. We gotta hug this out."
One Day at a Time
"What?"
One Day at a Time
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry."
One Day at a Time
"in what is obviously going to be a very smooth and luxurious road."
One Day at a Time
"I know you can."
One Day at a Time
"what I wish my mother would have said to me before my date."
One Day at a Time
"Red lipstick is for putas."
One Day at a Time
"Anyway."
One Day at a Time
"I'm just having dinner, okay? And I'm not being a puta."
One Day at a Time
"What is the right word? Let me see..."
One Day at a Time
"Uh, sucia?"
One Day at a Time
"Hey, you shaved your 'stache!"
One Day at a Time
"But this is great!"
One Day at a Time
"I mean, it's well-documented that women in their late 30s"
One Day at a Time
"Uh, okay."
One Day at a Time
"No..."
One Day at a Time
"Stupid Finn keeps changing his mind."
One Day at a Time
"I suppose..."
One Day at a Time
"So, I finally forced myself out of the house"
One Day at a Time
"Hi, I'm Tyler. I'll be taking care of you tonight."
One Day at a Time
"Every aspect of this date has been dissected by all the people in my life."
One Day at a Time
"So, uh, do you know what you want?"
One Day at a Time
"Aw!"
One Day at a Time
"Heads-up, Alex is here."
One Day at a Time
"Wait, why are you wearing abuelita's lipstick?"
One Day at a Time
"- Ay. - Why do you know that?"
One Day at a Time
"And why are you all dressed up?"
One Day at a Time
"so I can talk to Alex."
One Day at a Time
"But yes..."
One Day at a Time
"No one has asked me what I wanted in a long time."
One Day at a Time
"Stop talking to your sister."
One Day at a Time
"Something else you wanna talk to me about?"
One Day at a Time
"What did you do?"
One Day at a Time
"I tried to shave."
One Day at a Time
"I am a latina, you are a 12-year-old boy,"
One Day at a Time
"You wanna go..."
One Day at a Time
"There was no date."
One Day at a Time
"Now you're just being nice."
One Day at a Time
"Little aloe Vera on your upper lip and you're good to go."
One Day at a Time
"She's on a date."
One Day at a Time
"Because there's something about our skin, you know."
One Day at a Time
"But this is why I have to force myself out there to meet Adam Bennett."
One Day at a Time
"- Gimme your vibe. - Oh, hello."
One Day at a Time
"He's cute, right?"
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"Maybe he's too cute. Maybe he won't think I'm cute."
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"Maybe I'm not even a snowman anymore. Maybe I've melted. Michelle!"
One Day at a Time
"Am I just a puddle, a carrot, and a magic hat?"
One Day at a Time
"- Oh, no, I can't. - It's not for you."
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"I was fine yesterday."
One Day at a Time
"How the hell do I do this?"
One Day at a Time
"Do I like? Do I swipe? Do I put someone in my cart?"
One Day at a Time
"Everybody I know is either married"
One Day at a Time
"or I'm too embarrassed to ask them."
One Day at a Time
"So, you were my only option."
One Day at a Time
"I hear ya."
One Day at a Time
"And I'm honored."
One Day at a Time
"- Help. - All right, all right."
One Day at a Time
"For you, I'd recommend a more old-fashioned approach."
One Day at a Time
"make eye contact with an appealing stranger,"
One Day at a Time
"then, follow them home."
One Day at a Time
"- Follow them home? - Yeah. Or to their car."
One Day at a Time
"You could try a bathroom stall, but that's a little sketch."
One Day at a Time
"I mean, listen, you do you, but you're a mother now."
One Day at a Time
"Yes, it's been 20 years."
One Day at a Time
"You know, back then, online dating meant"
One Day at a Time
"hooking up while waiting in line to buy boyz ii men tickets."
One Day at a Time
"I helped turn a couple of boys to men."
One Day at a Time
"Ooh, ooh, use this picture for my profile. I look cute there."
One Day at a Time
"That's, like, a second date revealer. If you're good, a never reveal."
One Day at a Time
"Do you have some paper so I could write this down?"
One Day at a Time
"I'm just gonna do a little Photoshop,"
One Day at a Time
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